It was meant to be a question, at least, but Axell obeyed as if it hadbeen an order. Sunrise spilled through the window as if it were falling around Axell, illuminating him like a god, as Dan kneeled in front of him and looked up.
“Yes, please,” Axell said in a rougher voice now.
Later, after the awkward realization that the door was not locked, Dan felt like he had crossed lines in a race he’d forgotten he’d entered. He darted glances at Axell, who looked as satisfied as Dan had felt the night before.
Being in Crenshaw might actually be the answer to everything he’d never dared to dream. They nestled back in their pallet of blankets. And this time, Dan held Axell against his bare chest. It was a small shift in the power dynamic, and he suspected it would shift again, but in the moment, Dan liked feeling like he was in control.
Dan cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “The whole love thing you said…”
Axell shot an affectionate look up at him. “That I am falling for you?”
“Yeah… That.”
“I would like us to be more than naked joy,” Axell said simply. “We would share a room, and lives, and nakedness.”
“Like, live together?”
“Ja.” Axell shrugged like it was no big deal and put his hand on Dan’s stomach. “I trust belly feelings. Instinct. We are good together.”
Dan blinked at him. He felt as if they had already taken a giant step, as ifhehad taken a huge step both in trust and in claiming a new part of his own sexuality.Taking charge. Trusting someone.And here Axell was, asking for more. It felt like they were moving at a pace that was so far outside of normal.
So instead of answering, Dan held him.Do I want that?The thought was both tempting and terrifying.
They drifted off to sleep, and a little while later, when they were bothstanding and finishing dressing, Dan tossed Axell’s ridiculous skinny jeans to him. “Do you always move this fast?”
Axell laughed as he slung an arm over Dan’s shoulder. “Last time I was so interested, I took them on tour. First date was to six countries.”
“I don’t usually date,” Dan confessed. “The cancer and trying not to die and… I slept with a lot of men who ended up later telling me about their wives. I just…”
“No living together, but maybe yes on the more sex?” Axell surmised as he pulled on his clothes finally. “And yes on the dates?”
“Yes on the sex and the dates,” Dan agreed. “Maybe sleeping over some…”
“And telling me your secrets.” Axell brushed a kiss across Dan’s cheek. “Trusting. Togetherness.”
For a moment, Dan panicked.Why does he want to know my secrets?But then he calmed down. He had no secrets Axell didn’t know right now. “Yes,” Dan said. “I can do that.”
“Good. Let us find Miss Maggie now, and make her our friend again,” Axell said.
“Why?”
“Because she is funny, and you feel sad. We will fix this next.”
“I want to… live together with you,” Dan blurted. “I’m just nervous.”
“You sleep in my room, and when you are needing space, you go to yours. Easy.” Axell smiled and shrugged, and Dan wondered briefly if things could actually be this easy.
Is this what happens when it’s right?
“Yes,” Dan said. “Yes. And then—”
“No rushing. I will wait, and we will romance each other.” Axell steered them toward the door of the room, as if seeking someone out and making them your friend was as simple as that.
Decide it is so, and then it becomes that way.
It was ludicrous, but honestly, it was exactly how they ended up inthis situation the first time they met Maggie, and Ellie, and it was exactly how Dan ended up involved with Axell. His Norwegian beloved simply decided this was what he wanted, and so he acted as if it were already that way.
“You’re a bit much,” Dan pointed out.
