And it wasn’t like Dan wasunsatisfied.He just wanted there to be more tothisrelationship, more withthisman than the way it always had been when he went to whatever dark corner or hotel or bathroom with a man.
“I don’t usuallystayaround after.…” Dan squirmed as Axell stared at him, and he was oddly glad to have his trousers on as they spoke. He tried again. “I typically leave.…”
“After sex? Same.” Axell shrugged, making the gesture far more elegant than it ought to be when a person was sprawled out on a pile of blankets on a castle floor. “But this is not only sex, Daniel? Is it?”
“No… I don’t know. I hope not.” Dan looked away, staring at the room that had been lit by low lights when he’d arrived, exhausted and starving.He took care of me,Dan reminded himself. Axell had broughtfood, a place to rest, and he’d pushed Dan backward into a nest of blankets and made him forget his self-consciousness by ways of hands and lips.
“Do you think I changed my mind?” Axell asked the question, drawing Dan’s gaze, pulling him out of his anxiety and self-doubt.
“No…?” Dan managed to say again.
“Then what is this? What is happening now?” Axell was anything but subtle, and Dan suspected that it was the very trait that made him so alluring. He was confident. Even when Axell admitted he felt insecure, heseemedto be able to ask for what he wanted.
“I can’t decide what to do.” Dan’s face burned hot. “I want…”
Axell didn’t ask, didn’t help Dan with the words. He raised his brow and said, “Ja.”
When the other man said nothing more, Dan asked, “Yes,what?”
“To whatever you decide.” Axell shrugged again. “I sayyes.”
“But you have no idea what I’m thinking, what I want—”
Dan’s words died as Axell leaned in and kissed him. His free arm—the one he was not currently using to do whatever contorted push-up he had managed—wrapped around Dan so he could grab Dan’s ass. Holding him in place, as if Dan might try to flee, Axell kissed Dan until he felt like the awkward parts of him were melting away, as if he could disappear into Axell, as if being closer was all that mattered in the world.
It’s not just sex.
He wantsme,not just a convenient body.
Axell paused, kissed the edge of Dan’s jaw, and with his lips along Dan’s earlobe said, “I trust you. What else do I need to know to answer? You want. I say yes.”
“I… you…” Dan stuttered as Axell bit his throat hard enough to leave a mark.
“What?” Axell asked, lips brushing Dan’s collarbone now.
“It’s not supposed to be this easy,” Dan objected. “No one else has…”
“Been a witch?” Axell pulled back and looked at him. “Been a handsome pansexual man?”
“Maybe?”
“Spent a month simply trying to get you naked?” Axell peppered kisses and nips along Dan’s throat between questions. “Been falling for you?”
“Yes.”
“You see, Daniel?” Axell laughed. “Say yes. It is good for things to be easy.”
Axell had managed to reposition them so now Dan was on top of him. Axell stared up at Dan and said, “I say yes,ja,please.…”
And Dan realized that maybe it was okay for things not to be as complicated as they felt in his mind. He had no regrets about any of the anonymous fuck-and-duck connections in his past, but he wanted to take his time to know everything about Axell.
Is this love? Is that where we’re going?
Dan had never felt even the edge of that feeling before, and the thought of it was as likely as the thought of magic being real. Magic, love, men that wanted him for more than a quickie, those were as illusory as finding a life or a job where he felt like he mattered.
After saying yes, Axell let Dan take control, which helped Dan not to feel guilty about taking his time admiring and slowly kissing Axell. And it seemed like they’d connected on some nonverbal level, because every time Dan started to think he was being too slow, too selfish, too anything with his caresses, Axell said, “Yes,” as if he’d heard the doubts in Dan’s mind.
When eventually their breathing was harsh, Dan asked, “Stand against the wall?”
