I leaned closer to him. “It’s in the bottom of my suitcase,” I whispered. “Looking at it freaks me out.”
I never would’ve admitted this to anyone else, even Mel.
His eyes scanned my face as he nodded. “Yup. I get it. The paradox of victory.”
“It’s all too much to process,” I said, my heart heavy and airborne in a way I couldn’t understand.
Ben reached over to palm my cheek. “But you’re happy?”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. “I am now.”
He stroked my cheek with his thumb until it became a kind of touch meditation, lulling me into a Zen state. But one thought kept crowding out my peace.
I opened my eyes and stared at Ben’s beautiful, open face, registering how he looked before I asked the question. “How areyou?”
He dropped his hand.
“Happy.”
I squinted as I studied him, waiting for the telltale furrow and tension around his mouth.Anyhint that suggested he was hiding something from me.
Either his poker face was exceptional, or he was being honest.
“For you, and us,” he continued, his eyes softening even more. “Because the agreement has expired.”
I took a deep breath. I’d been so focused on the lead-up that I’d barely had a chance to consider the now.
“We’re free agents?” I mused.
“Not exactly,” he replied, reaching over to take my hand and thread his fingers through mine. “I’m not going anywhere, butyou’regoing into an insane post-Games period, so in the short term there’s not going to be much room for me in your life.”
I started to respond but he held up his hand to quiet me.
“Quinn, I’ve been there. I know how all this rolls out. You’re on a rocket ship for the next couple of months.” He waited until Ilooked him in the eyes before he continued. “All I can do is wait until you come back down to Earth.”
It was vague and undefined, but for now it was exactly what I needed to hear.
“You’ll wait for me?”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I have been. For the past four years.”
My nervous heart finally relaxed into a regular rhythm, until I slid my leg over his and straddled him. Just the notion of what was about to happen was enough to make me want to start grinding against him.
“Colorado to Brooklyn is awfully far,” I said as I leaned down to kiss him.
“We’ll figure it out,” he replied as his hands snaked up my back. “I promise.”
We regarded one another like we’d finally gotten the right prescription lenses, like we could now see clearly things that had been hazy. I placed my hands against his chest and could feel his heart thumping like he’d just finished a long run.
He gave me a series of tiny kisses, pausing between each one to pull back and stare into my eyes. “You know, when I was watching you last night I wanted to scream ‘She’smine’ to everyone around me.”
I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. I dipped my head and pushed it against his sternum. He stroked my back
“But I guess I should confirm that. Are you?” Ben asked after a few minutes of silence from me. “Mine?”
My entire body turned effervescent at the question.
“I am. Always have been, agreement or not.”
