And I neededBen.
He walked through the door and crashed into me without pausing, wrapping me in his arms in the world’s tightest hug.
As always, I had to fight through layers of his down jacket to grip his actual body.
“Fuck yeah.” His voice was muffled against my neck. “Fuck yeah, Quinn Albright. You fucking did it.”
Another laugh bubbled out of me. It wasn’t the most eloquent congratulations I’d gotten but it was probably the most heartfelt.I pulled back to look up at him and was rewarded with a kiss that made me forget everything else.
The moment I won it was as if a switch had flipped in Ben.Iknew there were still clouds in his heart, but his happiness for me seemed to cancel out everything else.
“How do you feel?”
I’d been asked the question so many times and I still couldn’t find the right descriptor. I defaulted to the ones people expected, like “proud” and “thankful,” fully aware that there was another sensation lurking in the shadows that I couldn’t understand, or even admit.
“Of all the people in the world asking me that,youwould know,” I answered.
He started to pull away but I squeezed him tighter to keep him nestled close. He relaxed against me and rested his chin on top of my head.
“Oh, I’mveryaware of what you’re going through. It’s almost undefinable, yet you have to come up with these pithy, quotable sound bites.”
We finally pulled apart and he unzipped his jacket and dropped it on a chair. “Did Kayla and Erica leave?”
I nodded. “This morning. Feels weird being here alone.”
“Get used to it,” Ben said softly as he surveyed the place.
“What do you mean?” I asked as I followed behind him.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Ben explored the bland but serviceable apartment that had been my home base for the past few weeks. It felt like the spirit of the place had left along with my roommates, although not the mess, since Kayla was incapable of picking up after herself and had left anything that she didn’t pack or throw out strewn around the place.
“So what now? Are we thinking a big, fancy dinner? Or a night of nonstop clubbing? Whatever you want,” Ben said. “Because you’re dressed to impress.”
“Please.” I gestured down my sweatsuited body. “I’m not leaving this apartment until tomorrow. All I want to do is sit.”
“Then let’s sit,” he said agreeably. “Are you hungry, though? Can I bring you food?”
I paused when I noticed the time, since it had ceased to exist for me for much of the day. “No, they fed me dinner earlier. I think it was dinner. Linner, maybe?”
We both dropped onto the uncomfortable couch and I let out a long exhale. I was exhausted in a way I didn’t know was possible, but still contemplating tackling Ben and ripping off all his clothes.
“Weird, right?” Ben asked.
The non sequitur made complete sense to me, because everything I was going through and feeling was weird as hell.
“Beyond. I don’t know what to do with myself. Like, I don’t have to get up tomorrow morning and train at the crack of dawn. The next few weeks are filled with press, not practice.” I stared into space. “Who even am I now?”
“You’re a freaking Olympic gold medalist,” he cheered and punched the air.
I covered my mouth and giggled like a little girl.
“So where is it?” Ben asked, craning his neck to glance around the messy apartment.
I stopped laughing. “Don’t judge me...”
“Oh shit.”
