Exactly where, we were about to find out.
I got hugs from my teammates and then we headed for the kiss and cry. I smiled for the camera and waved with both hands while upbeat music echoed around the stadium. My entire body wasbuzzing with the zingiest, most overwhelming endorphins I’d ever experienced.
I was so deer in the headlights that Mel had to bump her shoulder against mine to get me out of my trance. “You were perfect,” she beamed at me. “Flawless.”
“Seriously?” I asked, even though I knew she was right.
“Stunning.”
It felt like we’d just sat down and all of a sudden... my scores.
For a split second, numbers stopped making sense to me. It was all hieroglyphics. But the corresponding roar from the crowd and the way Mel grabbed my arm jerked me back to reality.
Eighteen years of devotion were finally paying off.
I’d won gold.
It was silly of me to scan the crowd thinking I’d see anyone I knew as I waited to step up on the podium they moved out onto the ice. I was smiling so hard my eyes were almost squeezed shut, but still I searched for that one achingly familiar face. I knew that if we locked eyes even from a distance, we’d still be able to have a conversation.
I told you,he’d say.
Yes, you did,I’d answer.
I scanned the camera crews ringing the rink but couldn’t find Ben among them. There was no way he’d miss it since there was nothing else scheduled at the same time.
And of course there was no way he’d miss it since it was, well,me.
The music shifted as the officials walked out on the navy carpet they’d placed on the ice.
I glanced at Ayumi, then Yena. I had plenty of challenges throughout my career, but I’d never made an enemy of my fellow skaters. Iknew Ayumi wasn’t thrilled to be coming in second to me, but she smiled graciously and bobbed her head when I caught her eye. Yena seemed overwhelmed that she’d actually made it to the podium.
The announcer introduced Yena, they played her national anthem, and then she bent over to accept her bronze. The process repeated with Ayumi, and then time stopped.
When I’d visualized this moment I’d somehow forgotten to include how it mightfeelfor me. I’d had a hard enough time even allowing the picture to sharpen into focus, so including sense details like how deafening the crowd would be hadn’t even occurred to me. Now it felt like everything was heightened to extremes.
The lights were brighter, the audience was louder, the cold was chillier.
And me? I felttranscendent. There were almost no words to describe it. Joyful, proud, grateful, lucky... it was a mix of every good feeling I’d ever experienced amplified to the extreme. I felt like my face was cracking open from smiling so hard, but I couldn’t stop it.
Until the national anthem began.
I wasn’t expecting the tears again, but hearing the song and seeing the flags unfurling in the crowd was a reminder that I hadn’t just skated for me, I’d done it for everyone back home as well. Frank, Zoey and the Chens, and all the little kids who crowded the ice every weekend and dreamed that someday they’d find themselves on top of a podium.
And yes, even my parents.
I swallowed hard as the officiant walked toward me with the medal on a tray. I moved forward, accepted his congratulations, and bent down and closed my eyes as he slipped the ribbon over my head.
When I stood up, the medal bumped heavily against my chest. I reflexively grabbed it, and the three of us held up our medals in unison to the cheers of the audience.
My dream was achieved, and no matter what happened next, no one could take the feeling I experienced in this moment away from me.
Chapter Forty-Three
I opened the door of my temporary home to find Ben on his knees bowing down to me.
“Stop,” I laughed. “Get in here.”
We’d managed to steal exactly two minutes the night before during my whirlwind postceremony press tour. I felt like I did a thousand interviews, followed by the Team USA party until early in the morning, then my first day as an Olympic gold medalist kicked off with even more commitments and a million different kinds of media. I’d had to beg off from a dinner event because I knew that I was getting close to burnout. I needed rest.
