I was jerked from my daydreams by the sound of Sam shrieking.
“Mia, let go!”
Sam must not have realized that she’d parked the stroller right next to a Christmas tree decked out with hundreds of tiny porcelain forks, spoons, and knives. Mia had managed to grab a handful of them and was trying to yank them free, causing a symphony of clinking as the tree swayed back and forth. Samwrenched them out of Mia’s hand, closed her eyes, and huffed out a sigh.
“Can we please be done? I want food.”
The desperation in her face triggered my protective instinct. Samantha was going through something and it wasn’t just a busy toddler.
“Sure, let’s go eat.”
“And can we make sure they have alcohol? I’m not going to say Ineeda drink, but a drink would be really, really, really amazing.”
Fifteen minutes later we were in a surprisingly good take on a British pub, ensconced in the world’s coziest booth next to a crackling fire. Sam had begrudgingly let Mia put on headphones for some screen time so we could chat.
I watched her take a long drink from her pint. “Are you okay?”
She shrugged as she placed it on the table. “We’ll get to me. You’re up first. How is the holiday season going for you?”
“Fine?” Sam’s furrowed brow suggested there was more to the question, but I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. “Busy, the usual.”
“No, I mean... everything.” Her expression softened. “Your dad, Chels. I’ve been thinking about him. And you.”
I fought against the surprising jolt of grief. Sam had only met him a few times, but she was well aware of what our relationship had been like. “I’m doing okay. I mean, I’ll never stop missing him. The holidays are tough.”
It was as much as I was willing to give, even with Sam.
She reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “Is it betteror worse to talk about it? I don’t want to upset you, but I want you to know that I’m here. Always have been.”
A flash of pain shot through me at her admission. I knew it was true, but I’d pushed her away.
“Honestly? Right now I’d rather focus on you, because I can tell something is going on.”
Plus, I didn’t want to bring down the mood any more than it already was.
“Shit.” Sam fell back against the booth looking drained. “It’s that obvious?”
I reached for her this time as her eyes welled. “You’re a pretty good actress, but I can see right through you. What’s going on?”
Nat King Cole crooning “Merry Christmas to you” felt at odds with the cloud hanging over our table.
Sam glanced at Mia then back at me. “I’m just...” She bit her lip. “Overwhelmed. And lonely.” The dam broke free and she gave in to silent tears. “Japan ishard. Nolan works so much and when he’s home he’s exhausted. We’ve been fighting.” She let out one of those shuddery, heartbreaking sighs that signified more was being left unsaid. “And I don’t know many people, so it’s basically just me and Mia. I feel like an asshole because it’s a great opportunity for Nolan. And obviously I adore her.” She nodded toward her daughter. “But being back here is making me realize how lonely I am.”
I knew that if we’d been alone Sam would have entered ugly-cry territory by this point. I reached across the table to grab her hand. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me?”
She made a sweeping gesture to convey the chasm that had grown between us, which made me well up too. “At least I know when I go back I can. That helps.”
The server showed up with our appetizer, forcing Sam to fake it so Mia wouldn’t notice she was upset. True to form, she managed a gorgeous smile for the waiter despite her damp eyes.
“Anyway.” She grabbed a pita chip and dug it into the guac. “It’s a lot, you know? But I’ll figure it out.”
Mia stood up on the booth and reached for a chip, nearly toppling her water glass over. Sam caught it just in time.
“What can I do to help?” I asked, mopping up the water that splashed out. “I’m a great babysitter. Want me to hang with her for a few hours next week?”
“That’s sweet of you to offer.” Sam gave me a grateful smile. “I think Nolan’s mom would kill me if I left her with anyone else. She’s practically mainlining this child so she gets her fill before we go back.”
“I don’t blame her. She’s amazing.”
