A voice came over the loudspeaker. “Twenty-two is ready. Merry Christmas!”
The family next to us hopped up to claim their newly wrapped tree, leaving us alone at the edge of the bonfire. Andrew glanced around furtively.
“So... should we talk now?” he asked once he was satisfied that no one was in eavesdropping distance. “About Thanksgiving?”
The nervous anticipation that flared up inside of me felt a little like heartburn, a hot knife to the chest. “We probably should.” I looked down and fiddled with my cup.
This wasn’t going to be like the last time, where we left everything unspoken. We were going to hash it out and have some sort of resolution before we claimed the shrink-wrapped tree. I mentally scrolled through the possible outcomes and decided that there was no way he’d bring me to cheery Christmas-tree-land to tell me the kiss had been a mistake. That was a conversation for our parking lot, so we both could make a quick getaway. Then we could go back to scurrying into our respective businesses and pretending that we didn’t see each other.
Based on the way he was looking at me, scurrying wasn’t going to be an issue.
“I guess you could tell that I wanted it to happen.” His serious expression finally cracked. “I was pretty obvious, huh?”
“In a good way,” I reassured him quickly as my nerves settled a little.
“Yeah, but I probably should’ve found a better spot. I mean, thegoatbarn?”
“You saved me from the rain. I’d call that chivalrous.”
Andrew cocked an eyebrow. “I like how you spin things.” He downed the cup of hot chocolate like he was taking a shot of liquid courage. “So, I’m going to cut to the chase and put it all out there.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure whereyourhead is, but I had fun. And I’d like to continue having fun with you during the holidays. So if there’s a way to make that happen, I’m all in.”
Obviously I knew a declaration of love was off the table, but I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by “fun.” I craved something more descriptive than the “f” word he’d opted for. I wanted terms and conditions. Boundaries.
And maybe a few promises.
But then again, if I was honest with myself, after what had happened in the goat barn I was willing to accept any scrap Andrew was offering me. I wasn’t proud of it, but I also wasn’t going to deny myself what I’d wanted for longer than I was willing to admit. Plus, there was something to be said for the chance to head into the holidays with him by my side. And if there was anything I needed more of in my life, it was fun. Hanging out with Andrew basically guaranteed it.
He seemed very invested in turning his paper cup into origami as he waited for me to say something. When he finally looked up from the smashed cardboard I met his anxious expression with a smile.
“I’m in. Let’s have fun.”
chapter twenty-nine
I wasn’t a fan of holiday shopping, but I loved the fact that I was doing it with Sam and Mia.
We were stealing as much time together as we could before they headed to Long Island to spend Christmas with her parents. We’d opted to visit the quaint river town across the bridge in New Jersey, hoping to finish up our Christmas lists under a blustery sky that promised snow. Mia was toddlering it up in our latest stop, a twee, breakable-filled housewares shop.
“Do you think Nolan’s mom would like this?” Sam held up a navy polka-dot teapot, keeping one hand on Mia’s stroller. “I brought her a bunch of stuff from Japan, but I feel like I need more.”
I paused. “Does she drink tea?”
“Not sure, but maybe if she doesn’t she’ll start?” I stared at her for a beat and she let her shoulders sag. “You’re right, you’re right. Terrible idea.”
“I’m sure whatever you brought is plenty. And you guys being here is gift enough.”
“Aww.” She jutted out her bottom lip in a pout. “I’ve missed you so much, Chels.”
“Same. Plus, I love getting to spend time withthislittle one!” I squatted in front of the stroller so Mia and I could smile at each other. “She’s amazing. But I still can’t tell who she takes after. Her hair is so light.”
“Hmph. Let’s just hope she doesn’t inherit her daddy’s bad attitude.” I glanced up at Sam, but she was busy flipping dessert plates over to check the prices. “What do you still need to get?”
“I’m basically done after everything I bought today.” I gave Mia a final nose-wrinkling grin and stood up. “I need a little something for Taylor’s husband, Ryan, that’s it.”
I was still grappling over whether I should buy a gift for Andrew as well, but I wasn’t quite ready to commit either way. After all, I had no idea how the next few weeks before Christmas would unfold with him. Given our history, “fun” could blow up in our faces. Our next scheduled hang was helping him decorate his tree, which seemed safe enough. I knew better than to overthink the possibilities of what could happen between us during yet another rom-com setup.
I knew better, but that didn’t mean I was completely successful at it.
Because we were going to be alone and I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist him any longer.
