“It’s okay.” Jed managed to interrupt. “I’m not here for Samantha. Or anyone else,” he blurted out when it looked like Iris might start a new game of guess-the-girlfriend. “I am here to get flowers for my mother-in-law.”
“Oh.” She nodded as if that made more sense. “Of course you’re married. Should’ve known.” Her eyes flitted for the first time to his wedding ring, and once again she ran her hands over her breasts. “So, then your mother-in-law is local. Good, good. What kinda flower arrangement are you thinking?” She started to step around the counter, then looked back at him. “You know, why don’t you just tell me who this mother-in-law of yours is and I can pick something out that would suit her right nicely. Most of the women have been in here, and I know what each one of them likes.”
“Well, actually. I was thinking more along the lines of a—”
She broke in before Jed could keep going. “Now, now, none of that. Trust me, I know what everybody in town likes. You just tell me who, and I will tell you what!”
Jed dropped his hands to his side. “Rose Morrison.”
Iris’s cloudy eyes looked up at the ceiling as she tapped her thigh with her right hand, causing the purple dress to flutter. “Rose Morrison… Rose Morrison. You know I can’t seem to think who….” She drew in a sharp breath. “Rose Morrison! I know Rose Morrison, not that she’severbeen in here. Goodness.” She fluttered her hand in front of her face, apparently overheating. “I guess you will have to pick it out. I haven’t a clue.” She started to come around the counter again, and then once more looked back at Jed. “You sure you shouldn’t just get her something from the liquor store?” She chuckled gleefully at her own joke.
I felt my face redden.
She continued to stare at Jed, her eyes narrowing. “Now, wait just a minute, there. Rose Morrison. Rose Morrison. She doesn’t have any daughters. She only has that boy. I heard from Hazel he was back. I haven’t been to church in a bit, but she told me he was there. She was quite upset, said that people had told her that he was a….” Her voice dropped off. “She’s yourmother-in-law?”
“Yes, madam, she is.” Jed’s shoulders had squared, and I could see his jaw muscles clinching.
“Then that means….” There was another long pause. Either Iris was undeniably slow, or she was dragging it out for the pure enjoyment of it. “That means you’re a… you’re a….” She lifted her eyebrows as if to say, “fill in the blank.”
Jed’s voice was tight. “Yes, madam, it does.”
Iris clucked her tongue and shook her head slowly. “Well, then, I guess that makes sense. What other kind ofpeople would Rose Morrison bring into town? Wait till I tell Hazel.” She had quit talking to Jed and started to pace slowly behind her counter.
“Excuse me, madam?” Jed’s voice caused her to jump.
“Oh.” Again with the breast smoothing. “Uh, you were wanting something.” She glanced around at the floor. It seemed my shoes were more noticeable than I was, because when her gaze fell on them, she jumped again. I wish I could say it was unusual for people to not notice my presence. It was, unless Jed was in the room. “Oh goodness.” Her eyes made their way up my body. “Where’d you come from?”
I kept my voice even. “Sorry to startle you, Iris. It’s Brooke. Rose’s boy.”
She licked her lips nervously. “Well, yes. Yes it is.” She laid her hands on the countertop, as if to support her weight. “Now what was it you were wanting?”
“Never mind. Sorry to bother you.” Jed turned around and started toward the door. The sound of my voice stopped him.
“Actually, we were looking for flowers. Maybe some fresh-cut ones or a potted plant or something.” I wasn’t going to have her going around telling everyone that the faggots had come to visit her and hadn’t even bought anything.
She pushed herself off the counter and walked over to a small case hidden behind an artificial tree on the adjacent wall.
Jed motioned toward the door, but I just waved him off.
Iris’s voice had lost any warmth it may have had and was void of her abundance of enthusiasm. “We have afew roses here in the refrigerator.” She scooted aside some boxes with her foot, revealing a couple of potted plants. “And here we got some geraniums that aren’t blooming or this snake plant, also called a mother-in-law’s tongue. Maybe that one’s appropriate for the situation.”
I wasn’t certain if she meant the snake part or the mother-in-law’s tongue part. Maybe both. I looked over at Jed, who was standing with his arms folded, looking thoroughly offended. “That sounds good.” I looked back at Iris. “We’ll take the snake plant.”
Aswe walked up to Rose’s door, I was surprised to realize I wasn’t nervous. I didn’t have any clue what she would try to do or what horrible things she might say, but I realized I didn’t really care. What could she say that would be any worse than things she had said before? Even if she went on one of her tirades, the goal was for Jed to meet my mom, and that would definitely qualify as really meeting my mom.
I had gotten in the habit of just walking in the door. It was never locked, and the porch’s floorboards announced a person’s presence better than any doorbell. I gave Jed a “brace yourself” glance and walked in. For once, Rose wasn’t in her horrible green chair. I stopped suddenly, causing Jed to jab the snake plant into my back as he ran into me.
Jed stepped around me, entering the room. Before I could follow, he rushed back through the door. “Oh! I’m so sorry,” he gushed over his shoulder and retreated swiftly back on the porch.
“What are you…?” Then I saw. I have no idea how I didn’t notice the second I walked in, or why I didn’t even glance there when I noticed she wasn’t at her chair.
Rose sat on the toilet, the bathroom door wide open, and her nightgown hiked above her knees. She was grinning from ear to ear and gave me a little wave with her withered hand. Someone who didn’t know her would assume that she was especially slow and didn’t have the capacity for modesty or decorum. She looked like an innocent child caught in a moment in the bathroom. A scary, emaciated child.
Only someone who knew her would see the intentionality behind her actions and the venom in her smile. I glared at her and realized I was about to flip her off. I joined Jed on the porch before I let her see she had gotten the better of me.
“We should have knocked, Brooke.” Jed’s face was flushed with embarrassment, which was unusual. I was the one who got embarrassed; he was the one to laugh.
“I never knock. She knew we were coming. She knows how to close the door.”
