“Mom, this place is a mess. You’re going to get sick!” Even to my own ears it sounded ridiculous.
Fury.
“Fine.” I stood back up. “No cleaning tonight.” I walked over to the closed door that led into my old bedroom; sure enough, there were hundreds of various-sized nails, some of which were only in the doorframe and the door itself, not doing any good. I reached for the handle. Mom started huffing and growling again. I turned to her. “I just want to see inside my old room, Mom. Don’t worry, I’m not going to take anything.” I turned the handle.
It wouldn’t turn at all. I shook it a little harder. Still nothing. I could just push through the door. I turned back to Mom. She seemed to be smiling at me, although it was hard to tell.
“Fine, Mom. I won’t go in there tonight, either.” I walked over to her and bent down. “You can have your way tonight, but tomorrow, I am going to start getting this house clean and back in order. Come on, I will help get you ready for bed. It’s late.”
As I touched her arm, she snarled viciously at me, and I took a step back. With a great groan, she pushed herself up with her right arm and glared back at me. In finality, she turned and hobbled away from me and made her way into her bedroom. Her limp was severe, and I could see the jutting of her hip bones through her nightgown.
Without a word, I got up, left the house, and shut the door. I got back into my car, and without even so much as a glance at the graveyard, I headed back to Maudra’s.
Eleven
Itwas nearly 10 a.m. the next day when I finally woke. I must have slept for nearly twelve hours. I’d come in and said good night to Maudra and immediately went to bed. I called Jed the minute I woke up. I told him about seeing Rose. He asked a lot of questions about her condition. I did my best to simply blow them off. I didn’t want to think too long about what my mother had turned into or what had caused her transformation. I knew it wasn’t just the stroke. It looked like years of damage had been done to her, not just a week. I didn’t want to consider that I could be partially responsible for what she had become. In some ways, I was glad Jed wasn’t with me. It would have been nice to take comfort in his arms, but he always had a way of making me take a deeper look at things and really understand them. For now, it was enough to simply try to endure the moment without trying to pick apart every detail. There was only about another month before the semester would be over for Christmas break and Jed could join me in El Dorado. Hopefully, by then, I would be able to figure out some things, or at least come to terms with them.
True to my word, shortly after an early lunch with Maudra and a few minutes playing with Thurston, I went back out to Rose’s. I spent several hours throwing away her vast collections of papers and boxes. I was never able to get around to beginning the actual cleaning. That would have to wait for another day. I had brought over some of the lunch Maudra had made. Rose refused to eat it. At first, I thought she might not be able to hold a fork any longer, so Iattempted to feed it to her. By the time she had finished howling and thrashing, the food was all over both of us and the plate was shattered on the floor.
She never attempted to speak a word the entire day. She merely sat in her worn-out armchair and followed my every movement with palpable contempt. At times, if I was getting ready to throw out something she wanted to keep, she would growl or hiss at me until I set the parcel down. I felt like I was caged with a wild animal. I half expected her to pounce on me when I had my back turned. At the beginning, I tried to carry on conversations with myself so that she knew I was talking to her, but not requiring any response, about things I had noticed had changed in the town or relaying certain tidbits Donnie or Maudra had told me. The longer I talked, the more agitated she would become, rocking back and forth in a flourish and making throaty moaning noises. Soon, silence fell over the room, only interrupted when I would attempt to throw away more than she felt I should.
At one point, I tried to enter my old room again. Short of knocking down the door or breaking the outside window, there was no way of getting in. I was fairly certain I caught a glimpse of a smile from her, or at least what was as close to a smile as she could manage, at my failed attempts. Finally, I left her in her dark house, sitting in her chair, with the promise of returning the next day.
When I returned to Maudra’s house, she told me that Donnie’s mom had called and invited us both over for dinner that evening. Maudra claimed she was too tired and needed to rest, and I should go on my own. I knew she was just trying to give me some time alone with my family, but I didn’t argue.
I hadbeen excited to see all of Donnie’s family, but now as I turned off Hospital Drive and onto South Park Street, I started to get nervous. It had been so long, and so much had changed. What if they didn’t all feel as accepting of me as Donnie? They had been my safe haven when I was a child. Sue was more of a mom to me than Rose ever had been, and Chuck had been the only dad I had ever known. I didn’t know if I could take their rejection. They lived directly across from the Holy Church, the church we had gone to when I was a kid. I did a double take as I glanced at it. It had nearly tripled in size. It seemed to have gone from a quaint country church to a small megachurch. I wondered how they were able to support that many people, since the population of the town hadn’t increased to such an extent. I wasn’t able to give it any more thought as I pulled into the Durkes’. There were already five vehicles in the driveway. Apparently, it wasn’t just going to be Sue, Chuck, and Donnie. Just what I needed.
Despite my nerves, part of me felt soothed as I got out of my car and walked toward the house. It felt like going home, where I was always safe. The house wasn’t big. Not nearly as big as it should have been for a family with three children—four on the days I was added to the lot. While not impressive, its brick and white stucco had not changed in the years I had been gone. It looked as neat and tidy as ever. The browning leaves that had fallen had been raked into the ditch, awaiting burning day. Every light in the house was on, and the windows radiated a warm invitation to those passing by on this brisk early November evening.
I checked my reflection in the window of the storm door before I rang the bell. It hadn’t been five secondsbefore I had to take a step back so I wouldn’t get hit as the door flew open and a mass of red curls came squealing out and wrapped its arms around my neck with such force the wind was nearly knocked out of me.
“Cousin Brooke! Cousin Brooke! It’s so good to see you! I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve missed you so much! I just can’t wait to hear all about how you’re doing!” The words came out in such a bubbly torrent, it took me a second to even process the meaning.
Finally, the arms released me enough that I was able to step back and see my accoster. In front of me, grinning a radiant smile from ear to ear, was the most beautiful woman (outside of my mother) I had ever seen. She was the same height as me, had thick red hair that curled halfway down her back, emerald-green eyes, full pink lips, and a body, clothed in a fuzzy pink sweater and tight blue jeans, that could be the centerfold for Playboy. I gaped at her, flustered. “Umm, hi.” Always so eloquent.
“Cousin Brooklyn, don’t tell me you don’t recognize your old Barbie doll playmate.” The beauty turned her sultry lips down into a fake pout.
Barbie doll playmate? I squinted my eyes and inspected her closer. Surely not! “Zephyra?”
Her lips broke back into her toothy smile, and she smacked my chest flirtatiously. “Of course, silly! Who else would it be?”
I shook my head in wonder. “I know it’s been fourteen years, but my God, girl, how you’ve changed!”
She let out a little chirp and twirled. “I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess, seeing as I was in fifth grade the last time you saw me.”
I just continued to stare at her, dumbfounded.
She reached out and grabbed my hand. “Well, come on, silly. You can gawk later. Everybody’s waiting!” She pulled me through the door and pushed me up the split-level’s stairs.
Before I knew what was happening, Zephyra had me in the white-and-powder-blue kitchen. It was the largest room in the house, both kitchen and dining room in one. It was always the gathering place in the Durke home. Sue and Chuck were both amazing cooks. They were the ones who first instilled in me a love of cooking.
“Well, look who it is, you all! Brooklyn’s back!” Zephyra gave another little twirl and a half curtsey.
“For the love of Pete, Zephyra, try to make a bigger spectacle next time, why don’tcha?” Donnie came over and threw his arm around my shoulders.
“Oh, this family needs a little flair and fun,” Zephyra shot back and went over and scooped up a little girl off the floor.
In an instant, Sue had her arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. After several seconds, she whispered hoarsely, “Welcome home, Brooke. How we’ve missed you, child. You’ve never left our prayers.” With a final squeeze, she pulled back. “Now, let me look at ya.”
