“Wow —so this was a place that meant a lot to you?”
AJ nods. “Uh-huh. Got a ton of memories here. It’s too much of a —a community, I guess you’d say. I couldn’t let it just close. And this guy —” He drops his big mitt of a hand on Errol’s shoulder, “I couldn’t ask for a better bar manager.”
“Manager? Good for you. I thought you were just a bartender.”
Errol squirms. “I mean, it’s not that big of a deal.” He points his thumb towards AJ. “This guy doesn’t like to delegate much,” he says with an awkward chuckle.
AJ shakes his head. “Not true — I couldn’t run this place without you, man.”
“Pfft.” Errol bats away the compliment with his hand, but he looks flattered.
AJ evaluates me for another moment. “So, your old lady kicked you out?” I don’t have a chance to reply before he continues.
“Sorry to hear it, man. I know that shit sucks —I’ve been there, too. When my ex-wife decided she wanted a divorce, she left me with practically nothing but the clothes on my back and my Harley. I was literally sleeping, like, on friends’ couches because I didn’t even have enough scratch to rent an apartment at first.”
Behind AJ, Errol’s face looks like he’s trying to hold in a snicker. I just put on a rueful grimace and nod. AJ seems like a nice guy; I wouldn’t gain anything from letting him know that assoon as the sale is completed and my money’s out of escrow, I could basically buy this place outright. Because that wouldalsomean explaining that what I’m desperate for right now isn’t a roof over my head, but a friend who will stick by me while I lick my wounded ego and try to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my life.
After we walk out of the bar, Errol leaves me to my thoughts as we head to my rental car. When I got into town yesterday,it didn’t feel like coming home. Even when I drove past my parents’ old house, there was nothing. I was afraid I’d feel detached about everything forever.
As I walk next to Errol, a sense of peace settles over me. I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m home.
5
ERROL
The car unlocks with a chirp and a flash of headlights. Ran turns to me. “Where are you parked? I can drop you off by your car and follow you.”
“I actually don’t have a car. Finn’s is close enough that I just walk.” Ran looks surprised, so I add, “I do still have my license and all. I just didn’t have a car for long enough that I got used to it. I drove my Gran’s —you know, drove her around after she couldn’t anymore —but I sold it after she died. It needed a lot of work by that point. I decided I’d rather put the money I could scrape up into the house,” I say with a shrug as I open the passenger door and get in.
“Gotcha.” Ran nods as he gets behind the wheel.
“Um, thank you for not getting freaked out when I told you I’ve been keeping track of your career and… life. I wasn’t trying to make things weird, I swear.”Oh, for the love of fuck, shut your trap —are youtryingto screw this up?
Ran sort of laughs and shakes his head. “I wasn’t going to tell you this because I thoughtI’dmake things weird, but I, uh, didn’t mind. It made me feel important. And guilty.” Hisexpression turns shamefaced. “I should’ve stayed in touch —I’m sorry. Thank you for not being mad.”
“I’m just happy that you’re back. I missed you.”
He glances at me, and I see his swallow bob in his throat. “Missed you, too.”
“The house still needs alotof work,” I say as I walk Ran through what used to be the living and dining rooms. I spent a good chunk of last winter knocking down the wall between them to create a bright, airy living space. In the kitchen, I gesture towards the old-school, yellow-and-orange-patterned linoleum floor.
“I haven’t decided yet, but I’m leaning towards keeping this. It’s so bad, it’s almost good, you know?” When Ran responds with a laugh, something flutters low in my belly. It’s the same laugh that would echo in my ears long after I’d gone home after sitting on his futon playing video games or just shooting the shit for hours.
Back in the living room, I look down at the suitcase and pair of plastic bins I helped Ran lug in from the car. “So, where’s the rest of your stuff?”
“Well, I let Eliza keep the furniture,” he says with a shrug. “She picked most of it out —and sitting and sleeping and eating on it every day would make me think of her and just piss me the hell off. The rest of my clothes and books and shit are in a storage unit.”
“OK, let’s bring these up and I’ll show you the spare room.” I grab one of the bins and lead the way up the stairs. “Ooh, watch that one. The tread is a little loose. I haven’t gotten around to fixing it yet.”
“You’ve been fixing this place up yourself?” The surprise in Ran’s voice sends a glow of pride through me. “I mean, I know you said you were working on it, but I didn’t know you meantyouwere doing all the work personally.”
“Well, yeah. Not like I’ve got the money topayanybody to do this kind of shit.”
“Where’d you learn handyman skills?”
I chuckle. “Alotof online tutorials. And there’s definitely been some trial and error along the way.”
“That’s cool,” Ran says. I know if I reply, I’ll say something self-deprecating, which he’ll chide me for. I don’t want to argue with him, so I stay quiet until we get to the spare bedroom.
