Every instinct in me says to shove the letter back in the envelope and ignore it, but I also know there’s no way I could look at myself in the mirror if I did.
I need you to help Maddie raise my daughter.Not just as an uncle or a stand-in, but as her dad.I want you to be her dad.She needs your steady hand, your stubborn will, your heart.Everything about the man you are—that’s what I want for her.I can’t give it to her anymore, but you can.
You’re not my brother by blood but through all of our life experience together.I trust you implicitly, and I know you’ll show up, even when it’s hard.It’s why I waited until after I was gone to ask this of you, so you couldn’t argue with me about it.Now, I know you won’t say no.
All the legal stuff is handled.The papers are in my safe deposit box.Everything is set for guardianship and eventually adoption.I wanted to make it simple for you, because life is about to get complicated enough.
Take care of her.Take care of each other.Don’t let me down.
Gray
P.S.Be nice to each other.
I lower the letter, my throat tight.Maddie’s eyes glisten, fixed on Grayce.
“Did you know about this?”I rasp, my mouth so dry, it’s difficult to talk.
Maddie shakes her head, those eyes coming to me.I still see the grief there, but I can also see a tinge of anger.She doesn’t like this any more than I do.“I don’t need your help,” she says.“Despite what Gray seems to think.”
Strong words from a seemingly strong woman.Yet I don’t know her, and I don’t necessarily trust her.Gray obviously discussed plans with Maddie, including that she’d become Grayce’s mom.But he didn’t discuss with me this insane idea that I need to be involved.Perhaps it’s a money thing?He knows I’ve got the means to give his daughter anything she could ever want.
But it’s got to be more than that.If it was just about money, he would have asked for money.
No, Gray seemed to think that I was necessary for his daughter’s ultimate well-being and I have to respect that.
Now the question is, do I honor his wishes?Do I upend my entire existence to take on the role of fatherhood, which I haven’t planned for?Sure, someday I’ll get married and have kids, but I’m not ready for that yet.
I set the letter to the side and sink back into the cushions.Christ, how did things get so complicated?The full weight of what I’ve lost, and what I’ve been asked to carry, crashes down on me.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”I feel compelled to put that out there.I can’t commit to this without some serious thought and soul examination.
“I don’t need your—”
“I get it,” I cut in over her.“You’re independent, strong, confident.All the makings of a great mom.But no offense, I trust Gray, not you, and he wants me involved.”
Her eyes harden on me, a look that puts me on edge, and yet she gently cuddles Grayce to her.“Well, no offense, but I don’t trust you either.”
“But you did trust Gray, right?”
She glares at me, silent.
I stand up from the couch.“I need some space.I’ll be back.”
Maddie doesn’t reply but also rises, tucking Grayce against her hip.She nuzzles her head and asks, “Are you hungry?I’m thinking I see some applesauce in your future.”
I’m thinking I see a whole lot of trouble in my future.I need objective advice, and I need it now.
CHAPTER 4
Maddie
The sky hasturned gray and bleak with an impending storm on the horizon, matching my mood perfectly.My best friend died and now I’m starting an entirely new life as the guardian—no, mom—of a beautiful little girl.Grayce is in her playpen across the room, gnawing on a slobbery plastic giraffe while I sit cross-legged on the floor in Gray’s office.
I was as mentally prepared as I could be when Gray passed.I’d already started pre-grieving, if that’s even a thing.I knew the time was coming and there was even a moment of relief that his suffering, and let’s be honest, mine, was over.
I’m also prepared to become Grayce’s everything.When Gray was first diagnosed and before we even knew how bad it was, he tapped me to take her.
“When I die,” he’d said.
