I clicked more links, unable to stop. Reports of shootings and arson attacks. Paid hits. I’d been thinking of it as a business, but I’d been glossing over the fact that the business took place in that shadow world of crime most of us only see when it spills over into the headlines. If I was going to do this, I’d have to join that world.
That was the part I definitely couldn’t do. I knew how to grow things; I had no idea how to be a criminal. I’d last a week.
Unless I had help.
9
LOUISE
I stoodin front of his door and tried to control my racing heart.
It’s because I’m excited. I’m excited by the plan.
Yeah, that’s absolutely what it is.
It still stung that he’d walked away from me like that on the roof. But that was all irrelevant, now. No more time for stupid fantasies. I needed his help.
I rapped three times on the door, feeling my breathing quicken. The paint was chipped and the wood was cracked in one place. Someone had tried to break in, at some point in the past. They’d found out where he lived and come for him.
I suspected it hadn’t ended well for them.
No response from inside. Was he out? I put my ear to the door. Holding my breath, I could just pick out a sound: a faint, rhythmic creaking. I knocked again, louder, and the creaking paused...then continued.
“Sean?” I called out. My voice sounded awkward in the silent hallway. “It’s me.”
The creaking stopped. I thought I heard footsteps and waited, but the door stayed closed. “Sean?”
Nothing.
I thought of Kayley. I was due to visit that afternoon and I needed some shred of hope to carry with me or I was going to lose it and break down in front of her. That gave me the courage to knock again, hard. “Sean?”
The door suddenly swung open. He must have been standing right up against it, watching me through the door viewer. “What?”he growled, exasperated.
I swallowed. He was stripped to the waist and his whole upper body glistened with sweat. His chest and biceps were pumped and rock hard, even larger and more intimidating than normal. He looked...primed,loaded with adrenaline and ready to pounce. He’d been working out, I realized. That’s what the creaking had been. He was glaring at me, those postcard-blue eyes harder than diamond, and I took an instinctive half-step back. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Stop saying you’re sorry!” That Irish accent again, like a silver blade flashing. Then his tone softened a little. “What is it?”
He’d braced one arm against the wall and I couldn’t drag my eyes away from it-the veins standing out hard, the solid thickness of it, like a tree branch big enough to climb on. “I need your help,” I said. “I’ll pay you.”
He was breathing hard. He ran a hand over his forehead and I saw the little jewels of sweat fall. His hair was damp with it. “Help with what?”
I swallowed and then raised my chin bravely. “I want to grow dope.”
For a second, he just stared at me. Then his hand shot forward and grabbed the front of my t-shirt, bunching it. Just like in my fantasy.
I felt my whole body go weak.
He tugged me forward, almost lifting me off my feet, and hauled me inside his apartment, kicking the door shut behind me. For a second, I thought he was going to push me up against the wall. I grabbed for his hand with both of mine, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do: break his grip or pull myself in tighter. Desperate fear and heady arousal slammed together in my chest—
He spun us around and pushed me away from him, sending me staggering into the middle of the room. “What?!”he spat.
I almost ran. His eyes were so brutally hard, so angry...but then I saw the flicker in his expression. Just for an instant, there’d been something else there. Concern.
It was almost as if he wastryingto be angry with me.
I glanced around. The place was so masculine, all gray and silver and white, with nothing but hard edges. He’d torn down the walls and made it one big room, except for a door that I assumed led to the bathroom. I saw a weights bench, the iron plates chipped and worn from use. His guitar and amp rested up against a wall, his hammer next to them. I could smell the heady tang of leather and saw a black jacket thrown across the back of a chair.
There wasn’t a single living thing in the apartment apart from us. No pets, no plants.
