The restaurant seemed to grow very quiet, or maybe I was just so focused on his next words that it seemed that way.
“They think I beat you up,” he said.
The restaurant, previously so friendly and inviting, became a sea of hostile faces, all staring at us. Judging us. Judging him for raising his fists to me and judging me for taking it and not running to a shelter.You’re enabling him,the women silently hissed at me.You’re letting him hit you and then letting him buy forgiveness by taking you out to dinner. God, you’re pathetic.A few of them seemed more sympathetic.She’s probably trapped. Co-dependent. Maybe there are kids. Maybe she has nowhere else to go. I wonder if I should say something.
Everyone so sure they were right.
I stood on shaking legs. Aedan looked up, startled. He seemed to realize what I was going to do just as my mouth opened, but by then even he couldn’t have stopped me.
“HE DOESN’T HIT ME!”I yelled. The whole room turned to look at us.
“Sylvie—” started Aedan.
“This is myboyfriend,”I announced, acid dripping from my words, “and hedoesn’t hit me.I was in a fight, you presumptuous, judgmentalfucks!”
The room was completely silent. I could hear individual people breathing.
Aedan took out his wallet and counted some bills out onto the table, then stood up and took my hand to lead me towards the door. He was looking at me in total amazement...and respect.
I refused to move for a moment. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a deep, long kiss, pressing myself up against his chest. He got over his shock quickly and kissed me back just as hard, his hands going down to my ass.
Only then did I let him lead me outside.
“Thank you,” he said, still sounding stunned. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not having people think that about you,” I told him.
He stared at me sadly. “They’reright.I don’t hit you but I’m just a”—he stared down at his hands—“just a...thug.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“It’s still true. I’ve done stuff that...” He shook his head. “You deserve better. You deserve a good guy.”
I could see him fighting with himself. God, what was this thing that was tearing him apart on the inside? He’d brought me out on this date, he obviously wanted to be with me...and now he was pushing me away to protect me.
Well, the hell with that.
I pressed myself close to him again, feeling his warmth. “Maybe a bad guy is what I want. Because I want you.”
He took a deep breath and stared off down the street for a long time, not meeting my eyes. When he finally looked back at me, things had changed. He’d come to a decision. He gave me that same hot lick of a look he’d given me when I’d first seen him at The Pit. Then he pushed me back against the nearest wall and kissed me with a raw, breathless intensity. It was as if a dam had broken inside him. He leaned in close. “Okay, then,” he muttered. “If that’s what you want, Sylvie...that’s what you’ll get.”
34
AEDAN
Her apartment was closer.It was the first time I’d been there—a whole part of her life that I hadn’t seen yet. I was on her territory now, bringing all the bad shit that came with me into her world.
But that’s what she wanted. And maybe it was finally time to start listening.
We were tearing at each other’s clothes even as we came in the door. Sylvie had her hands under my shirt, sliding over my stomach and then around back to trace the muscles there. She pressed herself against my chest, kissing me, barely coming up for air, and I groaned at the way her breasts pillowed against me. I already had my hands on her ass, squeezing the firm cheeks through the silky fabric of her dress, loving the way it slid over her skin. She wriggled against me and her breasts did wonderful things against my chest.Hell yeah!
After the summer heat outside, the apartment was blissfully cool from having been unoccupied for a couple of days. The semi-darkness made it seem cooler, so we didn’t bother switching on the lights. The blinds were still open and there was enough light coming in from outside for us to see by. I stepped back from her for a moment, drinking in the sight of her. She looked even more like anangel, in the white dress. An angel...maybe that was exactly what a monster like me needed.
I pushed her up against the wall of the hallway, knocking a picture off the wall. I slid my fingers through her hair, tangling them in it. My tongue traced the line of her upper lip and I kissed her, finding her open-mouthed and panting. I put a hand on her forehead, gently pinning her head for a second while I devoured her lower lip, nibbling and sucking. I thrust my other hand up the side of her dress, pushing the hem higher as it slid up her leg. God, her skin was so smooth, so perfect. I could feel her ass grinding against the wall in anticipation. I dodged past her bruised hip and started to rub her inner thigh in slow circles, toying with the edge of her panties. She gave a low moan in her throat, her breathing hitching faster and faster.
I was pushed between her thighs, grinding the hard bulge of my cock against her, but it wasn’t enough. I had to feel every part of her. I pulled her away from the wall and spun her around so that her ass was against my crotch, my length nestled right between those firm, rounded cheeks. I kept one hand on her hip, rubbing and rubbing, never quite moving onto her panties, teasing her. I slid the other hand under her dress, under her bra, cupping her naked breast.God,but that felt good. The smooth roll of the flesh against my palm, the scrape of the hardening nipple against my fingers as I squeezed and rubbed. Then the urgent stiffening of the little bud as she groaned and writhed harder against me.
I half-walked, half-dragged her through to the living room. We collided with a coffee table and a stack of books and papers crashed to the floor. Both of us were panting, now, gasping our excitement. It was different to what happened on the gym roof, different even to the night before, when I’d gone down on her at my place. I’d been unleashed. My demons had let go of me, or maybe I’d let go of them. I knew it wasn’t final. I knew that, eventually, I was going to have to tell her. But for now, I was free.
