“Thank you.”
When we came out of the store, I had not just the dress but shoes to go with it. The bill would have fed me for a week, which was exactly why I’d barely bought myself any new clothes in the last few years—I hadn’t been able to justify it.
And he’d known that, somehow. It was scary, how well he could read me.
I pulled him close, right there in the middle of the sidewalk, and hugged him. It was the first time I’d managed to get Jacki’s face out of my head all day. “Thank you,” I said again. “It’s lovely. I’m not sure where I’ll be able to wear it, but—”
“You can wear it right now,” he said. “We’ve got a table booked for eight.”
The restaurant wasn’t super-posh, thank God. I would have run screaming if it had been. It was friendly, with small tables and lots of candlelight, but still upmarket enough that the dress fit right in. I felt almost glamorous. I was self-conscious about my bruises—my eye, especially, was pretty much impossible to hide with make-up. Butmost people’s attention seemed to be on Aedan. I wasn’t surprised. The shirt couldn’t hide his muscles. He was imposing as hell, even dressed up. “Are you sure you can afford this?” I asked as we sat down.
“It’s no problem. Go nuts.” He opened the wine list and his eyes bulged. “Maybe nottoonuts.”
“Do you know the last time I went somewhere where therewasa wine list?”Probably before Dad died.“Seriously—this is great.”
It was the best I’d eaten in a long time. After months of noodles and discount breakfast cereal, I’d been getting used to the heavy protein of the boxer’s diet. But this was different again: delicately-cooked fish and steamed vegetables, rich sauces and luxuriant desserts.
“You look amazing,” he told me.
I grinned. Walking in heels had taken some getting used to again after nothing but sneakers—my legs were going to get their revenge the next morning. But I felt a million miles away from the scared, bruised girl backed into a corner. I’d escaped, just for one night. And Aedan looked so damn gorgeous with his muscled forearms stretching out the fabric of his shirt and those big blue eyes regarding me over the top of his wine glass. I noticed a couple of people eying him up—although, weirdly, they looked almost hostile.Jealous of me,I presumed.
The whole dress shopping and dinner thing still had me reeling. After the roof, I’d been worried that he’d only wanted me for sex. But now he was taking me on an actual date.
Something was wrong, though. We’d been happily chatting away for weeks during training but now it felt like everything had changed, and neither of us knew how to act around the other.
“Sorry,” he said after a while. “I’m not good at this. I mean, I haven’t done it much. Recently.” He looked away and rubbed the scars on his neck.What the hell happened to him?I wondered. “But I never was good at this stuff. Talking.” He grinned suddenly. When he smiled, his whole persona seemed to soften. “Not like Carrick.”
I leaned forward eagerly. “You said your brothers were spread out around the country?”
He blinked, as if surprised that I’d remembered that. “Yeah. All over.”
“You don’t see them?”
He shook his head. “They’re better off without me.” And the scary thing was how much he obviously believed it.
“Why? Why would you say that?” I reached across the table and took his hand. “Aedan...you’re a good guy. What happened to make you think you’re not?”
He bent his head and then looked up at me through those heavy brows. For a second, I thought he was going to tell me. Then he shook his head. “Ah, hell. I didn’t mean to get into this. Tonight was meant to be about you.”
I felt the mood changing. Our wonderful, glamorous night being dragged down into a black, oily sea.
“It can’t be that bad,” I whispered.
He nodded that it was.I could see the muscles in his shoulders and arms tensing under his shirt, his frustration building. Frustration at what?
“I like you,” he said again. “I really do.” He was silent for a moment. “But maybe you shouldn’t be around me.”
I reached across and stroked his cheek. “Why would you say that?”
He sighed and hung his head. I could sense the pressure of it inside him, his past expanding to push away everything good we’d built up. The closer we got, the more he seemed to return to the closed-off man I’d met at The Pit.
I felt as if my heart was made of paper and someone was slowly, cruelly ripping it down the center. I could feel him slipping away and whatever I said didn’t seem to make any difference. “Tell me! I like you! I don’t care what happened. You’re right for me!”
“I’m not right for anyone,” he snapped. “And it’s not justwhat happened.It’s what I am.” He glanced around. “Do you know why I’ve been getting dirty looks all night?”
I looked around us. Everyone was studiously avoiding looking at me. When I caught a waiter’s eye, he glanced at Aedan...and yes, I saw his lip curl in distaste.
I’d gotten it wrong, when we walked in. They were all looking at Aedan, but not for the reason I thought. “Why?” I whispered.
