This time, the spark catches, and Pashov leans over, blowing gently to make the fire grow. I wait impatiently as he feeds it tinder, all the while carefully blowing on the tiny flame. When it is safe to speak and the fire is in no danger of going out, he glances up at me. “The snow grew to be too much. We fell behind.”
And our sled wasn’t even the biggest. “Oh my god. Do you think the others?—”
“They will be safe. I promise. Do not worry.”
“How can I not worry? Georgie and Josie and the others are out there in the storm! What about your parents—Kemli? Borran? Or Farli and your brothers?—”
“We will catch up to them,” he says, his voice calm and even. “I brought you here because you are cold.”
“But won’t they worry about us?—”
“Do not worry,” he assures me. He gets up from the small fire and moves to my side, tugging me gently toward the flame. He pulls one of my sodden layers off of my shoulders and for a moment, I want to protest that I need the furs, but then he sits me in front of the fire. It’s beginning to catch now, and it’s so, so warm. I sigh at the feeling of heat, scooting closer.
“I’m worried, Pashov,” I say as I hold Pacy close. My mind is racing with fear. “We can’t lose the others?—”
“We will not,” he says quickly. “I know where they are going. We will meet them there. For now, it is most important that you rest, Stay-see. You and my son both.” He reaches out and chucks Pacy under the chin, and the baby giggles. “Wait here,” Pashov tells me. “I will bring in our gear.”
I want to help, but Pacy must be watched and the fire kept going. So I nod, trembling as I wait by the fire. Pashov dashes out of the front of the cave again and disappears into the blinding white flurries, and the knot in my throat grows huge. The weather is so bad. How can we be separated from the others? What are we going to do?
I swallow my questions as Pashov appears again with several bundles of furs. He sets them at the cave entrance and disappears into the snow again. I make myself busy with Pacy, feeding him before he gets fussy and letting him play in my lap near the fire. The heat feels wonderful, but with it comes guilt. The others are out there in this cold. They’re suffering, traveling on, because it’s important that we all stay together.
As much as I would love to sit by this fire for the next few hours and roast myself into oblivion, we don’t have the luxury. If we’re going to catch up with the others, we need to get back on the trail soon.
The next time Pashov comes in, I stop him. “Don’t unpack more,” I say, getting to my feet. “We need to get back out there.”
“No,” he says, stubborn. “You are cold. Sit down and warm yourself.”
“The others are still out there. We can catch up with them. I can’t sit here by the fire while they’re out looking for us.”
“They will not be looking for us,” Pashov says firmly, moving to my side. He presses a gentle hand to my shoulder. “Sit. You are tired. You are cold. Rest and warm yourself.”
I watch him, skeptical. “You don’t seem very nervous for someone who’s just been lost in a blizzard.”
“There is no need to be nervous.” Pashov pulls the privacy screen over the cave entrance, leaving just enough room to let the smoke trickle out. “I will care for you and Pacy. I can hunt. There is a cache nearby if the weather is too foul. We have fuel and blankets. All will be well. Rest and recover, Stay-see.”
He’s very calm for someone that has been left behind with his mate and child in a snowstorm. Too calm. I study his face. Pashov has always been a terrible liar, and when he won’t lookme in the eye, my suspicions are confirmed. “This was intentional, wasn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” He feeds a bit more fuel to the fire. “Relax, Stay-see. Would you like some tea? I can dig out your tea pouch.”
“Uh huh,” I say warily. “You’re offering me tea when we should be getting out there, catching up with the others.”
“Too much distance between us,” he says stubbornly.
A worrying thought occurs to me. He’s had no trouble keeping up for the last few days. “Are you feeling all right? You’re not too tired, are you?”
“I am fine.”
“But you would tell me if you were struggling, right?” I can’t help but be anxious over him. He’s just recently recovered from a devastating injury. If we hadn’t had the healer…
“Stay-see.” Pashov moves to sit next to me. His hand falls on my shoulder, and he gives me a patient look. “All is well. Please do not worry.”
“How can I help but worry? We’re left behind?—”
He sighs and rubs his forehead. “Stay-see, please.”
“Pashov,” I say, a warning tone in my voice. “Either tell me what is going on, or get back out there so we can catch up.”
His mouth flattens, and his tail does that hoppy little flick at the end that tells me he’s lying. I raise my brows at him, waiting. After a moment, he grimaces. “Very well. I admit…no one will come looking for us.”
