CHAPTER TEN
RAFE
The phone call I just had played out in my head over and over as I packed up the last of the boxes. West had called and relayed an offer from a man named Archer King and asked me if I’d ever heard of him. Who the hell hadn’t heard of the multiple Super Bowl-winning quarterback?
It seemed he was operating a ranch in Cedar Ridge of all places, which at first glance was a center offering retraining opportunities for veterans and first responders. But also offered something more. Something not always available to the average person.
And he was looking for someone to provide security training with an emphasis on current tech hardware. His end goal was to offer investigative and protection services and to create employment opportunities for those trained on the ranch.
West had given him my name when Archer asked my cousin if he could recommend anyone since he’d been made aware of West’s background in the Army. Plus, having had contact with numerous vets who’d come through the Triple R Lodge over the last year.
Archer and his partners wanted to add a security component to their outfit as soon as possible. Someone who had my skill set and could oversee the initial tech equipment set-up plus design a training program. And bonus, I would have space on his ranch to bring in retired K-9s to live and work with veterans needing service and therapy dogs.
It was a lot to think about, and it kept my mind off the one thing that had been ruling my every waking moment. Jaci. But since my conversation with Caleb, although positive and encouraging, I allowed doubts to seep in. She deserved a man who’d be all in with her and Simon. What did I have to offer them besides ongoing nightmares, an unwillingness to change and maybe my military pension? Would our swift and intense connection be enough to build a life on?
And then, of course, there was Duchess. Simon was totally attached to my dog. And vice versa. I’d never been around kids, but Simon had swiftly become her favorite person. Jealousy wasn’t in my emotional toolkit, but if it were — oh, hell, maybe I was jealous. But only slightly, and it leaned more toward regret that I’d be the one separating the two.
And then there was the night Jaci and I had spent together. It hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. Watching her sneaking out of my bed had stirred up emotions I honestly never thought I was capable of. And whenever I pictured myself in Cedar Ridge, I’d also see her and Simon there with me.
I couldn’t shake the way I’d left things with her. She said she was good with what we’d shared, knew it was short term. What if she’d only been protecting her heart from my selfishness and told me what I wanted to hear?
I’d been anti-relationship for as long as I could remember. Losing too many close friends overseas had hardened me to the point I feared I’d never be good at letting someone close enough.
Yet my gut twisted at the thought of never seeing her again. She may be too damn independent, but that was one thing I admired about her. And the rest of what I shared with Caleb about her, was that love?
Duchess padded over to me in the now nearly empty living room as I sat in the recliner, seeking ear scratches. On autopilot, I complied. In the morning, one of the specialists was coming by to pick the chair up for his new place off base. Then that would be it besides my bed and a few clothes and Duchess’s things. I planned on adding them to the moving truck in the morning, setting off at zero eight hundred sharp.
Or I could delay that plan. It would be a first for me, but it would be for a good reason. The best. “What do you think, Duchess?” With a soft whine, she placed her head on my lap. “Do I have the balls to tell Jaci how I really felt about her?” Would Jaci let me keep her, cherish and love her? And could I find the right words without screwing this up?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
RAFE
I waiteduntil seven a.m. before going next door to bare my soul to Jaci. After banging on it for a good five minutes, when she finally opened it, my breath left me. Lord, she was a stunner. Eyes flashing, hair tousled, she fumbled with her sweater, pulling it closed over her full breasts.
Focus Rafe.You’re here to talk, not to get her back into bed.
“What’s going on? I thought today was the big day?” Her gaze cautious as she looked over my shoulder toward the moving van. She didn’t invite me in; instead, she wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against the doorjamb.
Well, I deserved that. She’d drawn a clear line. Her sister was long gone to her office, and Simon would be up soon for school, so I needed to get everything out before we were interrupted.
Blowing out the tension I’d been holding in, I just went for it. "My long-term plans after the service never included a dog. Or you. Or a kid with a gazillion questions. I’ve lived my life just fine, predictable and uncomplicated until recently. Until the dayyou barged into my garage—all mama bear, eyes flashing, arms akimbo, hair flying as you skidded smack into my heart."
No longer sleepy-eyed, I had her full, if shocked, attention as I continued. “I always thought my parents’ relationship was the exception, not the rule. Hell, do you know how many marriages I've seen crash and burn over the years?
She shook her head, but the numbers didn’t really matter. So I pressed on.
“You are what I’ve been racing toward since that first day, from the very first moment. You were a shock to my system, but a good one. You woke me the hell up. At first, I couldn’t figure out what this new constant buzz was that ran through me whenever I thought of you or near you meant. But now I know. It was a signal. A signal telling me that the person who’s meant for me had arrived.”
“You and Simon are what’s been missing in my life. And with the help of a good friend, everything became clear.” I paused, giving her a chance to say something, anything.
When she just looked at me without giving away what she was thinking or feeling, I shoved all my doubts aside. The worst thing she could do was tell me she didn’t want what I wanted. But I wasn’t leaving until I’d bared my soul and given myself this chance with her.
“I’m done putting up walls, Jaci. Done with the worn-thin excuses I’ve used. And I’m over believing I can’t have a relationship that lasts longer than the time it takes to put my clothes back on and slip out the door.”
I was ready to say more, and then I saw tears pool in her eyes. When the first droplet fell, before she could wipe it away, I leaned down and kissed her cheek, tasting the salty tear as I gathered her into my arms.
Crooking a finger under her chin, I held her watery gaze and finished my confession. “I should have never let you sneak outof my bed the other morning. I should have asked you to stay instead of lying there faking sleep as you quickly dressed. With each article of clothing you put back on, I let any chance of being truthful with you slip away. It was a coward’s way out, and I let my old habit of indifference overtake any good sense I had. And I’m sorry.”
