I waited for her reaction or maybe a lecture, but all she did was give me an understanding smile.
“Okay, so it was great, of course. I mean, you’ve seen him, but I also told him I knew it was just a one-night thing. I mean the attraction between us, intense, right? But that’s all it was. We’re in two different phases of our lives. He’s starting this new thing in Idaho; I’m coming off an awful marriage and divorce. I have a kid. He’s only had a dog. Two different worlds, right?”
“You keep saying ‘right' like you think I’ve already agreed with you, but here’s a shocker, I don’t. Maybe what I told youabout me and Ben didn’t sink in, or you thought the same thing couldn’t happen to you, but, my dear sister, I think it has. And from the reports I’ve been hearing from Rafe’s men, he’s been even more of a bear at work. So, there’s a better than good chance that he’s not as opposed to being with you, long-term, as you think he is.”
She was right. I was shaken by her opinion. And maybe, I needed to be the one to take the risk of being disappointed and let Rafe know how I really felt about him, about us. After all, didn’t I, not that many days ago, say I was ready to put myself back out there? I still believed in love, that I could have another relationship, and craved it in fact. So why not with Rafe?
There were still a few days left before his planned move. All I needed to do now was figure out a good time to approach him since Simon was determined to spend all his free time over there.
CHAPTER NINE
RAFE
I needed to clear my head and knew going for a climb would do just that. So, a trip to Pine Valley Outfitters was in order. The weather was supposed to be in the low fifties this weekend, and I needed to tame my racing thoughts before they turned into a panic attack, and the best way to do that was to take a climb in Devil’s Hollow.
Caleb had just rung out a customer when I walked into the outdoor store. Waving me over to the checkout counter, I arrived just as one of his employees took over for him. “Ello, mate. Glad to see you before the big move. What brought you in today? Climbing gear?”
He never failed to use a very poor imitation of a British accent greeting me the same way since our first meeting and he learned I was half British. And he was the only one I let get away with it. Secretly, it also made me smile. On the inside.
“You called it. I’m going to hit the Hollow one last time before I leave. I need some new gloves. Tore the right one last fall and been meaning to replace it.” We walked over to the display where too many choices were neatly hung in row after row.
“Something wrong, Rafe?”
No. Yes. Decision overwhelm filled me. And it had nothing to do with which brand of climbing gloves to choose.
“Ah, I’ve seen that look before, but never on you. Who’s the gal?” Caleb hung his head and placed his hand on my shoulder. “My wife says I have an inner radar in figuring out male-female dynamics. Although she’s partial, mind you.”
I shook my head. Taking advice about women from Caleb wasn’t on my bingo card for the year. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think anyone can unravel the mess that is my current state of mind.”
Caleb didn’t respond. Instead, he grabbed a pair of gloves, slapped them against my chest and then headed for the checkout counter. Did I have a choice but to follow? Why did I open my big mouth?
“That’ll be twenty-three even after your military discount.” He expertly bagged up my purchase and then waved his arm for me to follow him once again.
“He do this a lot?” I asked the smirking employee, who stepped back up to take over the counter once again. “You have no idea,” she chuckled and then helped the next customer.
As I followed him toward his office in the back, I contemplated lying about having another stop to make and needing to leave, but he’d piqued my curiosity, and I let this play out. Caleb took a seat behind a cluttered metal desk straight out of the eighties. I sat across from him in what could only be called the mismatch of the century in an overstuffed, plaid wingback chair.
“This what you do now? Offer customers relationship advice from your office? Because I've got to tell you, you really need a proper lounger in here if you expect to make a profit. And maybe get rid of that moose head behind you. Or at the very least, remove the fishing hats from its antlers if you want to be taken seriously.” How I maintained a bland expression withoutcracking up was a phrase I’d rarely contemplated. Which only proved how keyed up Jaci Cain had me.
“Eff off, Major Lucas. Now, tell me your troubles, and I’ll do my best to help.” Caleb kicked back in his ancient matching office chair. Several creaks and a hell of an annoying squeal filled the room as he clasped his hands over his waist.
“Shit, Caleb. What is with you and British slang? You still keeping a list? You know you can Google whatever you want to know, right?”
“I’d rather learn it organically. It’s going to be the one thing I’ll miss about you. Now, spill it. I’m sensing you’re ready to bolt any minute.”
“You think?” I groused. “Okay, give me this insight and wisdom you claim to have about woman, or relationships.”
The older retired USAF captain leaned forward, placed his forearms on his messy desk and asked, “How long have you known this woman?”
“Less than two weeks. And I’ll save you further digging; she’s divorced, has an eight-year-old son, makes and sells jewelry, lives with her sister, Lt. Colonel Rebecca Cain, my boss, at least for the next few days. Her smile, stubborn independence and intelligence with a dash of sassiness that somehow makes me laugh has kept me not only on my toes, and the thought of another man looking at her sideways fills me with such rage, I’ve run close to twenty miles already this week to rid her from my mind. I can’t sleep, forget to eat and--”
“Crickey, mate, you’re in love. Stop pushing against it because you don’t think it’s for you or even how it’s supposed to happen or how long it’s supposed to take. Love happens on its own timeline. Tell her and quit torturing yourself. Look at me and my wife, it happens to the best of us, if we’re lucky enough to recognize it. If you move without telling her and finding out how she feels, you just might regret it. And living with regret canbe harder to do than carrying the memories from our wartime deployments.”
A bitstunned by Caleb’s words, hell, who knew the old veteran could put into words the jumbled thoughts plaguing me since meeting Jaci. But first, there was one thing I needed to correct him on. “Crickey is an Aussie idiom, although they use mate as well. And thank you, Caleb. I wouldn’t go so far as to say you’re an expert with relationship advice, but you made me see things from a new angle and gave me a lot to think about.”
Standing, he held out his hand. I stood as well. We shook hands. He wished me well and walked with me to the front of the store.
“You know I never said I was an expert. Just have a knack for figuring out stuff that men and women get hung up on. It all boils down to cutting through the BS we feed ourselves and taking that leap of faith. Good luck, Rafe. I hope everything works out for you and your special lady.”
