“I think they take turns making me nuts. I got Catherine back on her meds last week, but now my mother is off hers and MIA.” I paused. “It’s fucked up. I was gone for four years, and when I go there, it’s like I never left. Nothing’s changed.”
“I know one thing that’s changed,” Marla said. I offered her the joint back, but she waved me off. “You. You’ve changed.”
I looked over at my foster sister. “It’s impossible to have witnessed the shit I’ve seen and be the same.”
“But you’re talking to someone, right?”
I’d gone to a doctor at the VA hospital to get sleeping pills. He wanted me to start talking to a therapist, but pouring my heart out to some guy who would ask me shit like “And how does that make you feel?” wasn’t my thing. Though I didn’t want Marla to worry, so I nodded. “Yeah, I got myself a doc.”
“Good.”
I’d already talked about myself more than I cared to, so I changed the subject. “How’s the new job going?”
“Awful. My boss is a chauvinistic dick. He asked me tofetchhim a cup of coffee. I’m not his personal assistant. I have a damn degree in economics.”
“Accidentally spill it on him.”
She smiled. “I should.”
I took a long draw on the joint and spoke while holding it in. “Why don’t you quit?”
“Because I’m not sure what I want to do or where I want to go. Actually, that’s not true. I’d love to go live in London for a while.”
“Really?”
Marla nodded.
“So do it.”
She snort-laughed and covered her mouth. “Oh my God. I’m really stoned already. How are you still smoking that thing?”
I chuckled. “Bet you no one in London sounds like a hyena when they laugh.”
She shoved me. “Shut up.”
“Seriously.” I inhaled again. “Why don’t you find a job in London, if that’s what you really want to do?”
“Because I’m not you, boy genius with balls of steel.”
“I prefer man genius now.”
She smiled and sighed. “Maybe you can open an office in London one day when you’re rich, and I’ll run it for you.”
I shrugged. “Okay. I’ll do that.” Feeling pretty high myself, I tapped the head of the joint against a shingle to put it out. “But I’m going to try to crash now. I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?”
“To visit a buddy of mine’s family.”
“Oh.” Marla’s face softened. “Nelson. Mom told me about that. How come the Marines didn’t ship his stuff home when he—”
“They did. But I have some stuff I won from him in a card game that I want to return.”
She smiled. “You’re a good friend.”
If she only knew the truth. I wasn’t a good friend or a good leader. If I had been, John Nelson would still be alive. I pushed to my feet and held a hand out to help Marla up.
“’Night.”
