There was something so honest and nonjudgmental about her. It made it easy to open up. “I might be able to focus if I knew why I was suddenly getting the cold shoulder.”
Marla smiled sadly. “I recognized the steely face he had today from when we were kids. It’s part of the wall he puts up when he’s vulnerable and doesn’t want to get hurt. Unfortunately, I saw it a lot back then.”
“Did he saywhyhe was shutting me out?”
She shook her head. “I tried to pry, but he did the same thing to me. When he was a kid, he built walls to protect himself, but as an adult I feel like they often act as a prison, keeping everyone out.”
I frowned, and she continued, “I love the guy, but he can really be a stubborn ass sometimes. Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on, but I stopped down because I wanted you to know that he’s never told me about a woman before. He’s really crazy about you.”
“He has a funny way of showing it lately.”
Marla sighed. “I know. It’s not an excuse, but Jagger fights a lot of demons. Eventually though, he always makes it through to the other side. And he’s worth waiting for. He’s stubborn, and arrogant, and he can be excruciatingly annoying. But he’s also loyal and protective and patient.” She looked at her watch. “I have to get going or I’m going to miss my flight. But I really enjoyed meeting you and hope to get to know you better.”
I smiled. “Same.”
She waved and turned to walk away. I replayed everything she’d said in my mind as I watched her go—stubborn, arrogant,demons.
“Marla?” I called.
She stopped, and I went over to her. “Has Jagger ever had any nightmares that you know of?”
Her face fell. “God, yes. They were brutal, but he’d never talk about them. He came to live with us for a month after he got out of the military while he figured out his next move. He seemed like such a different person after four years in the Marines—until I heard him in the middle of the night again. The nightmares hadn’t changed, but they seemed to have gotten worse.”
CHAPTER 34
Jagger
10 years ago
I woke drenched in sweat and bolted upright. It took me a full minute to realize I was in a bedroom at the Emersons’ and not a tent in Khalari. My chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it, but it was only the weight of the dream—the same damn one I’d had for months now. It always ended the same way, with the crack of gunfire, followed by the thud of a body hitting the dirt. I never saw the aftermath of the gun going off. But I didn’t need to; it was a moment seared into my brain forever.
I looked over at the end table, where I put my pills after I took one when I brushed my teeth at night, but the bottle wasn’t there. Shaking my head, I scoffed at myself.Great. You got your sister to take all her meds but forgot to take your own.
My shirt was soaked through, clinging to my back. I peeled it off as I pushed out of bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Standing in the dark, I poured a glass of water from the tap, shook two pills from the prescription bottle that instructed me to take one, and poppedboth in my mouth. It was going to take them a while to kick in, and I needed something to take the edge off now. So I went back to my room, dug out my emergency stash of weed, and quietly rolled a joint in the dark. The Emersons didn’t like me smoking in the house, so I opened the bedroom window, climbed out, and sat on the slanted roof.
Two puffs in, the window next to me opened and Marla swung a leg through.
“I smelled that with the window shut,” she said.
“Sorry. Did it wake you?”
She took a seat next to me and held out her hand for the joint. “No.” She inhaled and held her breath for thirty seconds before letting it out. “But your nightmare earlier did.”
My eyes flashed to meet hers. “I yelled?”
She nodded and extended the joint back to me. “You’ve been doing it almost every night since you got back.”
“Sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for.” Marla smiled sadly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “Not really.”
She bumped her shoulder with mine. “Shocker. You’re such an open book, Langston.”
I smiled and brought the joint to my lips.
“How are your sister and your mom doing?” she asked.
