I nodded. "It's that easy. See? We're going to be okay up here. You can become a real nurse if you want to - or even a doctor!"
"You should be the doctor."
I shook my head. "I'm going to be a hunter, Meri. Not like the Moles either. I'm going to use my dog and bring back deer, and pigs, and birds. I'm going tofinallyget to see the world."
"And kill Moles," she reminded me.
I nodded at that. "Yeah. We're going to kill a lot of Moles, and Callah knows about it. She sent me a letter."
"And?"
I paused, knowing this was the hard part. "Meri, she's going to wed Tobias. She says it's as a friend, and it's all so they can fight back. He'll protect her, and she knows the girls, the wives, and us. She says she's the only person who can make this happen."
"What's 'this?'"
"Helping the women down there, and destroying the Righteous from the inside out."
Finally, Meri smiled. "Good. And when Gideon dies, will you tell me?"
"I swear, Meri. When I know that man is dead, I won't just tell you, I will plan a celebration for it."
"Good," she breathed.
Two
Meri
Ayla sat for a few hours, telling me all about Callah's letter. Our friend, it seemed, was just as strong as Ayla. I wasn't. I knew I wasn't, but a little part of me wanted to be. Not the same sort of strong. Ayla's strength was cruel. Callah's was devious. I just wanted to be kind.
But kindness had always made it easy for others to walk all over me. Kindness had never served me. I knew I should rebel against it, but Ayla had told me I could be anything I wanted, and Iwantedto be kind. I wanted to live in a world where that wasn't a weakness to regret.
I simply didn't know how.
Eventually, Ayla finally left, saying she had to feed her dog, but she sent in a nurse to talk to me. It was Viema, the same lady who'd been taking care of me all day. The woman swept into my room with a smile and a clipboard filled with papers.
"Meri!" she beamed. "The Phoenix said you're ready to hear about this paperwork, hm?"
"For the baby?" I asked.
She gave me a warm smile and sank into the same chair Ayla had left. "This is for adoption. It will relinquish your parentalrights to the child. However, there are some choices you get to make, and I'm happy to go over them with you."
"Okay?"
She turned the clipboard toward me so I could see the text. "I don't know how well you read Vestrian yet."
I made a face. "It's still easier to speak it."
She nodded. "Okay, then I'll read this to you."
And she did. Bit by bit, she read the complicated words, which felt like they turned on themselves worse than a sermon - and then explained it. When we got to one of the places for me to make a decision, she laid out my options in the sort of simple words that made sense to me. The kind most people used when talking.
But I didn't want to have any future control or responsibility to this child. That negated the whole point of letting someone else raise him, didn't it? Then there was the time before it could all be finalized. During that period, I could change my mind if I wanted.
Finally, we got to a part that felt important. "Now, this section means you can choose to either have the city - well, the child services people - find an appropriate family, or you can name the people who you'd like to adopt the child."
"Jeera and Brielle," I said. "Viema, they cared for me. I know they are kind, and..." I couldn't find the words. "They..."
"It's okay," she soothed. "I understand, Meri."
