"Moles use flowers to brag. Dragons use them to share all different feelings," she told me, reaching out a hand. "Ayla, I can't sit up so you have to come closer."
"Do you need help?" I asked.
"A little."
I quickly leaned in to secure her shoulders, helping her shift higher. Shoving a pillow behind her back allowed her to recline the same way Kanik had been. Once she was good, I found a chair in the corner and pulled it closer.
"How are you doing, Meri?"
Her eyes lost focus, and for a moment, her face went slack. "I'm not pregnant anymore."
"You're not," I agreed. "Naomi said Jeera and Brielle are taking care of the baby. It's gone, Meri. You no longer have to worry about it, okay?"
She jiggled her head in something meant to be a nod. "Okay."
"And you'll heal fast," I assured her. "Kanik will too, because of you."
"I just found the right doctor," she mumbled.
"And helped me save him." I caught her hand. "You are such a good healer, Meri, and you can do that now if you want."
"I know."
"But do you know what you want?" I pressed. "Have you even thought about it?"
Slowly, her royal blue eyes crept up until they found mine. "Ayla, I thought I had to be a mother, and I didn't get the chance to think about anything else. Lessa showed me how to sew, and I speak Vestrian well enough to not get lost, but that's all I know."
"The words will come," I promised.
"No, of anything!" she insisted. "And I heard a nurse. She said I would've died down there. The baby would've killed me, Ayla."
"Which is why you had to come here."
"But I don't know what to do now!" she hissed, struggling to keep her voice down. "Ayla, I'm so lost and confused. I..."
"Shh..." I soothed. "Meri, it's going to be okay. All you have to do is rest. You have a cut on your belly. It has stitches. That's how the baby came out."
"I know."
"And it's going to need time to heal," I reminded her. "That means you have time to think and ask questions now."
"But the baby..." she tried.
"Jeera and Brielle can handle it."
She pressed her lips together. "Him. I know it's a boy."
"Him," I agreed. "I didn't know how much you wanted to know about him."
"Does he have Gideon's eyes?" she asked.
I could tell she was braced. The right answer was obvious, but I couldn't give it to her. "Meri, I don't know. I haven't seen him."
And she let her eyes close as she leaned back. "I don't want him, Ayla. I don't wantGideon'schild."
"Then you will never have to have him," I swore. "Naomi said that's okay. Jeera thinks you should wait to see if you're going to change your mind, but I know you won't." Then I reached over, claiming both of her hands to cradle between mine. "Meri, Jeera and Brielle said they'll adopt him. All you have to do is tell one of the nurses that's what you want, and then you'll never have to see him at all."
"Yeah?"
