Ashton reached out and moved a strand of hair from my forehead before he asked, “What if I wanted it to happen again?”
I shivered at his touch and replied, “You’re just emotional right now. There’s a lot going on. You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“This could be very bad, Ash. This would only confirm what the people already think.”
He brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheek. “I don’t give a damn what they think. I’ve come to respect you in a way that I haven’t respected a woman in a long time. When I look around at all the players in this, you’re the only one who’s had my back through this thing and upheld my wishes, even if it didn’t make sense.” His long fingers gripped the front of my neck as he swept his lips over mine.
Despite the words I had spoken, my body issued a different command. I opened my mouth to him, inviting his tongue inside. I moaned underneath his aggressive touch.
Ashton pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. A soft smile lingered on his full lips.
My racing heart slowed down just a little, and the tension I had previously felt dissipated.
“I thought you were upset. The way that you were out here swimming, I could have sworn you were mad about what happened.”
He shook his head. “The only thing I was mad at was about not using protection last night. I’m a protector, Chanel. It’s in my nature. I failed to protect you when I took you like some wild dog who couldn’t control his desire. Got me out here chasing after you, like you’re some bitch in heat, and I’m a male dog marking his territory.”
I giggled. “You have shown some aggressive behavior, a little obsession with me, and definitely restlessness.”
“I’m serious,” he replied.
I knew that his concern stemmed from more than one thing, and I needed to tell him the truth. But instead, I frowned and asked, “Have you been with more than just your wife? I mean, she did have sex with others, so she could have exposed you as well.”
“Nah. I told you we haven’t had sex in a long time. I’m not worried about anything that she might have. Even when I wasstill involved with her, I took precaution, and I also took tests. I’m clean.”
The hurt in his voice was as clear as a bright, sunny day. “I don’t mean to pry, but my curiosity is getting the best of me. How long has it been since you’ve been with your wife?”
“Thirteen months.”
“You haven’t had sex in thirteen months?” I asked in disbelief.
“No, I haven’t.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Please don’t worry about me not protecting you. I didn’t even raw dog my wife. Not sure why I felt comfortable doing that shit with you, because I’ve never done that with any woman except my wife, and not even her in the last five years.”
“Then why are you worried about protection?”
“Don’t want to get you pregnant. Unless of course you’re on birth control—or maybe I should be the one worried about protecting myself?”
I dragged my hand down my neck and shook my head. “No. I’m fine. No diseases, no unprotected sex, and no birth control.”
“I can get a Plan B pill for you.”
“No need.” My voice hitched on that answer, and as much as I wanted to disappear, I knew it was time to tell him the truth.
He frowned, and I inhaled deeply, bit my bottom lip, and swallowed the tears. “Don’t know why I’m telling you when I haven’t told a single soul other than my husband, not my parents, my cousin, or my best friend.”
Ashton gripped my chin and gently lifted it before he wiped my tears. His voice was thick with emotion and compassion when he declared, “Because I’m a trustworthy nigga.”
“I cannot have children, Ashton. It’s the reason Darius, my ex-husband, divorced me.”
“The fuck! That bitch nigga divorced you because you couldn’t have kids rather than stand by your side? All the technology they got out here, as many options that are available to families now, that pussy nigga would rather walk his punk ass out the door than have your back?” Ashton snapped.
“Calm down, Ash. It’s been two years since our divorce. It’s over.”
