“I apologize, I did not mean to imply that you were anything less than the gentleman I know you are.” She squeezed once, then pulled away, her voicetaking on a businesslike tone. “A marriage in name only. I still do not see how it would be anything but a burden to you, but if you are willing, so am I. More than willing—I am eternally grateful to you.”
Andrew nodded. His gut twisted at how quickly she’d accepted a marriage that was lacking in the warmth and affection that he hoped to one day have… but it was for the best. After all, they had not seen each other in six years. He could not hope to jump back into not only the friendship they’d had, but also more.
And maybe, with time, that would come.
“Then it is settled.” Now, the logistics. Those were safe. “I will obtain the license tomorrow before we return to London. Until then, there are a few other details we ought to iron out. And I think we will need to tell my family, though perhaps we can wait until the actual ceremony… we will need witnesses after all.” He did his utmost to keep his affairs his own and not burden his father with them. And this… Andrew did not particularly wish to see the raised eyebrows or the prosy lectures Geoffrey would certainly give. Prideful though it may be, he wished to keep this between him and Sophie as long as possible.
“Settled, yes,” she agreed. “How strange that we are to be husband and wife.”
She said it innocently enough, but emotions flared within him. Strange, she said. Somehow, he would have to change her mind.
Chapter Thirteen
Everything and yet nothing in Sophie’s life seemed to have shifted over the course of the night. It was like a heavy snowfall that blankets the world in white while one sleeps, transforming everything outdoors, though one’s indoor life did not change in the least.
She was engaged to be married. To Andrew Langford of all people. She would be a wife… and yet her day-to-day was unlikely to change a whit.
Her eyes traced the woodwork on the ceiling. What would it be like to have someone who supported her goals? To have Andrew, her dear friend, by her side as she navigated the future that had always appeared murky and uncertain, most especially since Grandfather had died.
Bless Andrew for saving her future. For improving it.
The foreign bed she lay in was impossibly plush and warm, and maybe if she did not move, she would not have to face this puzzling new world outside of it.
Yet, minutes of closing her eyes tight shut only conjured up images of sitting on the horse with Andrew’s arms around her, and the odd twisting in her stomach told her perhaps she needed to break her fast before meeting the day.
As she pinned her hair and dressed herself in the quiet, spacious room, the disparity of her situation and Andrew’s became all the more stark. His family and hers were of a similar level of wealth and prosperity, but she had turned her back on hers, preferring to make her way in the world. Even Grandfather didnot live in such luxury. Yet now she found herself back in the exact world she’d abandoned, and it felt as uncomfortable as an incorrect integer in a complicated equation. Would she make a good wife? Even one in name only? Would she fit in Society enough to help Andrew reach his goals?
It was all rather unsettling.
There was a light tap on her door, and she strode across the room—it took far longer than crossing her small quarters at the Bristol Seminary would have—and pulled it open. Andrew stood there, his dark hair swept back in waves from his temples, holding a tray of food, and appearing for all the world as if he was just as discomfited as she felt. That would not do. They had never tiptoed around each other before, and he was the one person she could count on these days… so she was wroth to allow this strange energy to remain between them.
“May I come in?” he asked in a whisper, his blue eyes on her hair and not her face. “I know it is not exactly—”
She pushed the door wider, gesturing him in. “Of course. My husband ought to have access to my rooms.”
He passed her, eyes still averted, and she would swear that was a blush creeping up his neck. Perhaps a bit of teasing was all they needed. Levity to lighten the situation she’d forced them into.
“Should you like to kiss my cheek while we are at it?” She tilted her head, offering the side of her face. “I admit, though it would evidently surprise a great many, I have never before been married… and I am not entirely certain how to proceed.”
She’d expected at least a chuckle, but instead, his eyes finally fastened on hers, surprisingly intense. Had they always been so blue? “We should discuss the… ah… specifics of the arrangement, yes.”
“I jest, Andrew. You need not kiss me.”
In that moment, his gaze dipped down to her lips. Wholly unexpected, a wave of warmth twirled through her midsection, setting her off balance.
“Apologies,” he said, his voice rather rougher than before. “I admitIam not entirely certain how to proceed.” He set the tray on her dressing table, running a hand across his jaw.
“We need not do it at all, you know. You do not need to marry me.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper to match his.
He shook his head. “No. No, that's actually why I came. I wanted to let you know I have obtained the license. I will tell my brother and father when we return so they can act as our witnesses. We can leave whenever you wish.” He watched her, open hands on his hips.
He’d already managed it? At what time did the man wake in the morning?
She grabbed some fruit from the tray. “I suppose I am ready then.”
He eyed her meager choice. “Nothing else?”
She shook her head. Where before she’d thought she might be hungry, now she thought perhaps her stomach was unsettled instead.
