“Are you kidding, it’s a great idea,” I leaned back in my chair and shot a flirtatious grin at her, trying to pull myself out of my existential crisis. I could spiral later, right now I had a beautiful woman in front of me whose life was irrevocably changed.
“Well, it doesn’t really seem like a good place to, you know, talk.” She glanced around at the other tables. They were spaced out enough that it gave the illusion of privacy, but I suppose she still felt exposed.
“We could talk about that later, if that’d make you more comfortable.” My suggestion made Nellie’s face fall. “I mean, there’s not much more to say right now about it, right? You are, and you’re not sure if I am,” I added, summarizing things as vaguely as I could while trying to wrap my head around it at the same time.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.” Nellie picked up her glass of lemon water, taking a tiny sip. “Maybe I should have waited to say something, this feels so awkward.”
“It only feels awkward because you’re making it awkward,” I joked.
She shot me an unimpressed look.
“Seriously, if you focus on how awkward you think it is, you’re only going to make it awkward. I don’t feel awkward. Shell-shocked, maybe, but not awkward.”
Nellie’s lips twitched with a repressed smile at my honesty. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know, let’s get to the heavy stuff. What are your hopes and dreams for the future? I mean, clearly motherhood is happening. But what about the other stuff?”
“What do you mean?” Nellie’s brow furrowed, and I leaned forward.
“I mean, do you want to get married?”
“Jesus, Noah, you’re terrible at dating,” Gabrielle interjected, appearing suddenly at my elbow with our drinks.
“Ah, yes. A critique of my dating skills, just what I ordered,” I shot back.
Nellie snorted, trying to hide her smile behind her hand.
“Sorry, I know you’re out of practice, but save the heavier questions for after the appetizers, maybe?” Gabrielle winked at Nellie, as if they were in cahoots.
Gabrielle had a point. We hadn’t even looked at the menu. “Fine, we’ll start with a breadbasket.”
Nellie waited until Gabrielle left again, then looked back at me. “She’s right, you know. Bringing up marriage on a first date is kind of intense.”
“Right off the top this night started intense,” the words slipped out before I could really think about how they might make her feel. I caught a hint of hurt in Nellie’s expression before she schooled her features, and it made me feel like absolute shit. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
“To answer your question, I don’t know. Maybe if I found the right person, sure. But I’m not looking for a marriage commitment, I don’t even have the headspace to date right now. I’m trying to get through the next five months.”
“I guess this explains why you need time off for appointments.”
“Yeah, but I can talk to my doctor about moving my appointment day to Mondays, so I don’t leave you hanging on Fridays.”
“Don’t worry about that. Whenever you need to go, go. I’ll handle the office,” I assured her.
Gabrielle brought the breadbasket and fresh butter, setting them on the table between us. “Are you ready to order yet?”
“Sorry, Gabs. Haven’t even looked at the menu yet,” I said. “Can we get a minute?”
“Sure thing, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Gabrielle went to check on other patrons, and I kept my mouth shut long enough for Nellie to have a look at the menu.
“Everything sounds so good, I have no idea what to order,” she said.
“It’s all incredible, but I’m probably going to go with prime New York strip loin,” I told her.
“That does sound good,” Nellie bit her bottom lip, and I could tell she was looking at the prices.
“Get whatever you want, Nell,” I told her, lifting a brow. I fully expected to pay for our evening, and I didn’t want her worrying about how expensive anything was.
Gabrielle chose that moment to reappear at our table. “Are you ready to order yet?” she asked.
