When it came to Connor Jacobs, I was weak, and I gave in without much of a fight the very moment I heard the vulnerability in her voice.
I looked over my shoulder at her, swallowing when I saw her tangled hair spilling over her milky breasts. She was propped up on her elbow, my black sheets tangled around her torso. Her green eyes looked hurt and uncertain, and I hated I made her feel that way. I cupped her face, running my thumb along her delicate jaw.
“I couldn’t ever regret you,” I told her sincerely, letting myself get lost in the beautiful colour of her eyes.
I didn’t speak about the other things weighing heavily on my mind—the consequences of my actions. I’d crossed a line I told myself I never would, even as I’d discovered my feelings for her had changed. I’d meant to keep them dormant.
I had no idea how Calum would react if he were to find out. I didn’t know if it’d make him spiral more, didn’t know if it would put an irreparable wedge in our friendship and ruin the harmony of our band.
But it was more than that. It was the right girl at the wrong time kind of situation—with one taste, I knew she was it for me. Which is why I’d worked hard over the last few years to keep my bloody hands to myself, because Connor could never be a one-time deal.
She would be an addiction, one as every bit as dangerous as the one that took hold of my father. I’d never rid myself from craving her, and I wouldn’t want to. But I had to focus…we both did.
Connor nodded, biting down on her bottom lip as if her thoughts were taking her some place she didn’t want to go either. She looked so crestfallen; I couldn’t stand it.
“I want you, Connor, I do. I’ve wanted to slide between your thighs since that moment you stepped off the plane three years ago.” Trailing off, I swallowed. I knew as soon as the words escaped my mouth, I shouldn’t have told her that.
It wouldn’t change anything. I was never around, and she had her own life back home in Nova Scotia. We were on the road touring a lot, and I wouldn’t be the supportive boyfriend she deserved.
“Really?” She arched a skeptical brow, but her eyes…they sparked with recognition.
“But this can’t happen. I’m always on the road, and you’re young, you—”
The air escaped my lungs on a whoosh when she shifted, her hand moving lower, sliding down my torso. Her fingers danced against my flesh until she found what she was looking for, running her thumb against the slit of my cock.
“I’m young?” she asked, a dare in her voice and a wicked grin on her angelic lips. “My age didn’t matter a few minutes ago.”
“That’s not what I meant. You’re still in school in the Maritimes, and I’m either here or…on tour. You have a lot of things you still need to experience, things I can’t give you right now. I can’t stand in the way of those things.”
“Oh?” A delicate auburn eyebrow arched in question, and she slid her leg over mine, shifting so her body was pressed closer to me. “What ifyou’rethe only thing I want to experience?”
I’d stayed away from the heavier drugs, like heroin, coke, and molly, knowing my father’s demons rested beneath my flesh. But Connor was an even more dangerous addiction, and I’d run headlong into it. One taste, and I was hooked.
“Then I’d experience you over and over again, as many times as you’d let me. But…” I swallowed, warring with myself over all of the complications. I knew she was worth every one of them, but I couldn’t put her through what Cal went through. “We still couldn’t be together the way you deserve.”
She smiled, almost sadly. “I know. Calum. The band. My dad.” At the mention of her father, her face fell, and her lip trembled with emotion. “It seems like I can’t ever have what I really want.”
Her cryptic comment was so unlike her, she was sunshine and positivity for the most part. Sure, she went off like a firework when pissed but…this was different. I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Connor’s eyes flicked back to mine, holding my gaze. “It means everything that would make metrulyhappy would further rip my family apart.”
“And what do you want?” I asked, hoping like hell I was somewhere on that list. She looked at me.
“Right now…I just want you. I want one night to forget about everything.” I swallowed, stripped bare by her declaration. “We can have tonight, can’t we?” she whispered, her eyes imploring me.
I wanted every night…and that want—that thought—struck me with a ferocity I hadn’t anticipated, knocking the breath from my lungs. I could definitely give her what she was asking for: I could give her right now.
“Yeah. We can have tonight.”
Her lips curved into a dangerous smile, and she went from an angelic being to an enchantress. Power—dangerous power—humming from her. She was…otherworldly.
She could crush me. She had that ability. I wonder if she knew it. Still, I moved over her like she was the fragile one. I ran my hand up her thigh, stroking her slick core with my fingers as if strumming a guitar. She moaned, arching into my touch.
After bringing her to the brink of another orgasm, I withdrew my fingers…sucking the essence from them. She watched with hooded eyes, but I had a question burning in my mind, and I wouldn’t give her a release until she answered.
“What else do you want that you feel you can’t have?” I asked—my voice a low rumble. I would give her the moon and every star in the sky to keep her. “What else would make you happy?”
She glanced at me through those thick lashes, a certain vulnerability rising within in her emerald irises. She bit her lip, then shook her head. “It’s…silly.”
