“I think you’re right, Asher. It’s the best lasagna I’ve ever had. No other lasagna compares.” He said this last bit while looking straight at me. Those swirling, stormy eyes evoked goosebumps and butterflies. I picked up the glass of wine and sipped it, surprised that my hand didn’t tremble.
An intimate dinner was probably not my wisest choice, but it was too late to turn back now. Across the table, Asher grinned and laughed at something Calum said, and the knots around my heart loosened a little.
None of the things I felt mattered more than what Asher felt, and he was ecstatic.
Calum
It’s past ten, Asher. Time for bed.” Harper said as she stood in the doorway, looking in on us. He was in the middle of showing me his most prized Lego set; a large set from Avengers: Infinity War. He had a lot of Lego sets throughout his room. Some of them were placed on the built-in bookshelves that lined the walls around the windows.
“Aw mom! I’m not tired though!” He argued, looking up at her with big blue eyes. It was disconcerting, almost like looking at a picture of myself as a kid. I grinned at him, repressing a chuckle.
“You have a piano lesson at nine.” Harper arched a brow, a wry smile gracing her pouty lips.
“Why don’t we meet up tomorrow, after your lesson?” I suggested, chancing an unsure glance in Harper’s direction. I was afraid I’d find her annoyed at me for overstepping, but there was a warmth in her eyes that soothed away that anxiety as quickly as it’d arrived.
“That sounds good,” she nodded, turning her head to address Asher. “Pajamas, teeth, and bed, please.”
“Fine.” he sighed heavily, standing up and shuffling down the hall to the bathroom. I gently sat Thanos back down in his proper place as Harper moved to the dresser. I couldn’t help but watch her. I didn’t think I’d ever grow tired of looking at her, of drinking in the sight of her.
She could hold me captivated by doing the most mundane of tasks.
The drawer slid open, and Harper pulled out a set of pajamas. Glancing at me shyly over her shoulder, she smiled hesitantly before stepping out of the room and disappearing down the hallway to check on Asher. I watched her go, my eyes transfixed on the curve of her ass, swaying subtly with each step.
Need flicked along the base of my spine, and I drew in a controlled breath, forcing my eyes away. I’d been fighting desire for her all night but luckily, there were enough distractions to keep me from thinking with the wrong head.
My gaze happened to land on a photograph on Asher’s dresser. It was the two of them at Peggy’s Cove. Asher looked to be about three or four years old.
I picked it up while trying to imagine what it would have been like to be here this whole time—seeing Harper pregnant with our child, feeling his kicks and movements. Being there on the day he was born and being there to watch him grow from newborn baby to the little boy he was now.
Creaking floorboards by the doorway brought my head up to her. She paused in the doorway, watching me with a contemplative look on her gorgeous face—like she knew exactly what I was thinking. I set the frame back down and shoved my hands in my pockets.
“I guess I should get going.” I hedged, hoping like hell she’d ask me to stay.
“You don’t have to.” She spoke so softly, I almost missed it. Before I could respond, the bathroom door opened, and Asher shuffled back to his room, yawning.
“Good night, little man,” I said, grinning at him and ruffling his dark hair. “I had a lot of fun with you tonight.”
“Me too,” Asher surprised me by throwing his arms around my waist and squeezing tight. “I’m glad you came back.”
“So am I,” I squeezed back, the punch of his words knocking my heart around in my chest. I couldn’t raise my eyes to look at Harper; I knew she was watching, and I knew whatever I saw in her eyes would be my undoing.
Asher released me and hopped into bed. Harper walked the rest of the way into the room to tuck the blue comforter beneath his chin, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, bug. Sleep well.”
“Love you too, Mom.” Asher yawned, his eyelids heavy with sleep and already closing. He was snoring softly before I’d even made it to the door. Harper walked out behind me, shutting it softly before she tip-toed quickly down the stairs.
I followed soundlessly, my heart pulsing painfully with every step that brought me closer to the door.
I could stay, but I risked the very real possibility I’d push things too far. I didn’t know how much longer I could resist touching her in all the ways I craved.
“Do you feel like having a drink?” Harper questioned uncertainly. The way she looked at me made it nearly impossible to fight the desire coiling in my belly.
“I don’t know…” I trailed off, fearing I wouldn’t be able to leave if I didn’t go now. Knowing that I should.
It was easier to fight my baser instincts when Asher was awake and watching, but with him asleep and Harper and I alone for the first time in almost a decade—I knew I couldn’t. Not for long. Soon, the urge to touch her and claim her would override the common sense that told me to wait.
The problem was, I didn’twantto wait. I waited nine years to come back, and I missed out on everything. I didn’t want to miss out anymore, and the thought of leaving caused nauseating anxiety to settle in my stomach.
But so did the thought of pushing her before she was ready; of having her think my intentions were less than what they were. I wanted them both, more than I’d ever wanted music. I had to tread carefully.
