“That’s incredible,” Calum said, looking down at him with a proud smile.
“He played a beautiful piano rendition of Heart Shaped Box at that talent show,” I replied. “I have the video somewhere on my computer.”
“Don’t show him the video, Mom! I’m much better at it now. I can play it for you,” Asher told him, eyes bright and shining as he looked from me toCalum. “But my piano is at Gram’s and Pop Pops’. We don’t have space for it here. Can we go there now?” He shifted his focus to me, eyes bright with excitement.
“Umm...” I trailed off, trying to compose an excuse. My parents weren’t exactly thrilled that I’d welcomedCalumback with open arms.
“Maybe another time?”Calumsuggested warmly, reading the hesitation in my eyes, his lips set in a careful smile.
“Okay! Wanna see my room next?” Asher asked. When Calum said yes, Asher reached for his hand and began dragging him towards the stairs.
The timer on the stove went off, and I moved to the oven as they disappeared upstairs. Slipping my hands into the oven mitts, I pulled it out and set it to cool on top of the stove, all the while feeling like I’d stepped into an alternate reality.
Footsteps creaked above me, and Asher’s voice hummed with excitement as he walkedCalumthrough his bedroom.
My heart was exposed and raw; itachedwatching them together. I felt heavily responsible for the loss of time, no matter how many timesCalumassured me it wasn’t my fault—it still felt like it was, at least in part.
Seeing them together solidified the fact thatCalumwould have been here had I’d been brave enough to let him in on it when it was happening. I’d been stubborn, using his absence as a cloak, and I hadn’t realized it until he came back. His return held a mirror up to my choices, and they weren’t any better than his.
With a heavy sigh, I slid the tray of garlic bread Ellery had baked into the oven and closed the door, straightening slowly. I didn’t know whether to join them upstairs or let them have some time alone.
Opting for giving them a little time alone, I remained in the kitchen. Grabbing the Caesar salad from the refrigerator, I walked out to the small square table and set it down on the oak surface as they descended the stairs. Asher’s voice was going a mile a minute as he talked about his favourite songs and video games, leading the way back down the stairs and to the table.
“Smells delicious,” Calum remarked once Asher had stopped to breathe. His eyes illuminating warmth as they swept over me, and I flushed.
“Thanks, it’s ready, if you’re hungry now,” I said, ducking my head and returning to the kitchen to pull the garlic bread out.
“I am,” he replied, joining me in the kitchen. I glanced at him over my shoulder as he playfully rubbed his rock-hard stomach. Forcefully dragging my eyes away, I turned my attention back to the oven. I could still feel the heat of his gaze on my back as I bent forward to pull the garlic bread out. “Can I help?”
“That’s okay,” I said, placing the garlic bread on the wooden cutting board. But Cal didn’t listen, he came to stand beside me, his hands reaching out to take the bread knife from me.
The spark his fingers sent through the nerve endings along the back of my hand had my heart skipping a beat. I had no choice but to surrender the knife, stepping away quickly to give myself some much-needed space.
Setting the stack of bright blue plates down, I glanced at him again. His tattooed hands moved with confident experience as he sliced the fresh loaf, the cords in his forearms moving beneath his inked flesh in a tantalizing spell. His eyes lifted, catching my perusal, and he smiled.
With wobbly knees, I turned back to the counter and grabbed a plate and the spatula. Dishing out the lasagna, I heard Calum set the knife aside and pick up the cutting board. His jeans rustled as he walked by, setting the wooden board down on the table.
“What’s your favourite food?” Asher asked him, eyes bright with interest.
“I have a lot of favourite foods, but lasagna is one of them,” Calum replied, glancing at me when I walked out with the three plates balanced in my hands, compliments of my short-lived waitressing days in college.
He reached out and took two of the plates from me, his eyes lingering on mine. I set the remaining plate down across from them and turned, walking back into the kitchen to grab the wine and a glass of milk for Asher. I needed the extra time to regain control of my emotions.
Of course, I’d known that about him. I’d once known every minuscule part of his life, and the deeper, darker parts too.
Chair legs scraped against the old hardwood floor when Calum tugged the chair beside him out and sat down in it, his eyes flickering to mine once again as I returned with the wine and glass of milk. Reaching across the table, I placed Asher’s cup in front of him and sat down across from them.
“Mom makesthe bestlasagna,” Asher declared.
Keeping my attention focused on our son, I tried to ignore the feel of Calum’s gaze on me. “Well, I don’t know about that. But thank you,” I smiled at him. He was such a sweet kid, and I couldn’t take the credit for it—that was just him. I loaded up both of our plates with salad while he reached for a piece of garlic bread.
Calum’s eyes locked with mine, and I gave him an unsteady smile. He picked up the tongs, placing a large pile of salad onto his plate.
“Do you still say grace?” he asked me, tilting his head with curiosity. He’d had a few dinners at my house growing up, and my parents always made a big show of saying grace.
“Only on the nights we have dinner at Grams and Pop Pops,” Asher responded cheekily, sharing a secret grin with me. The corner of Calum’s lip tugged up as he watched us interact. He picked up his fork and sampled a taste of the lasagna.
I couldn’t help but stare, spellbound, at his jaw as he chewed, drinking up the way he closed his eyes briefly in rapture before swallowing. Lids popping open, he caught me looking and flashed me a closed-mouth smile.
