Braden still wasn’t having it. He glowered at Mick. “Oh, you know how to cut people off, huh? Could’ve fooled me,” he spat. “Maybe you should have tried cutting my old man off so he wouldn’t come home and beat his family. But, then how would your shitty bar stay open without his wallet,eh?”
“Braden, you’re making no sense. Let’s just go,” I pleaded, mortified. Every eye in the bar was on us, watching this altercation, hearing his words. The shame made me feel about two inches tall. I sent an apologetic look to Mick as Brock grabbed our little brother by his shirt collar and dragged him outside. “I really am sorry, Mick. If you’ve changed your mind about letting us have the reception here, Iunderstand.”
“It’s okay,” Mick said. “I’ve been called worse. We’ll see youtomorrow.”
“Thank you, Mick.” Relieved, but still ashamed, I gave him a tiny smile and went to follow my brothers outside. Whispers followed me, and I did my best to keep my breathing undercontrol.
I almost made it to the old oak door that lead to the street, but before I could reach it, Travis stepped in front of me, blocking my path. He stood there, his head titled down to look at me, his fingers brushing across the back of my hand. I looked down at where his fingers touched my skin, and tried my best to ignore the tingles theyevoked.
“What?” I half hissed, half whispered athim.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said, pulling his hand away like touching me had burnedhim.
“I’ll live,” I responded, stepping around him and following my siblingsoutside.
I was livid at my little brother. I knew it wasn’t any of my business, but I’d come to love Elle. She’d spent so much time with us and she had been amajorhelp. Seeing her heartbroken expression when she noticed the lipstick on Braden’s mouth infuriated me. Braden loved her, that was obvious, but he was hurting and he wasn’t thinkingclearly.
And he had shoved me. Braden hadn’t pushed me since we were kids, and having someone push me like that triggered memories that were better left buried. I knew if he’d been sober, he would have never done it, but that didn’t make it any easier todigest.
For a second night in a row, Braden was snoring loudly on the sofa, too intoxicated to get to his beddownstairs.
“He’ll be okay, Becky.” Brock sounded sosure.
“How do you know?” I asked, casting him aglance.
“He’s not likehim,” Brock shook his head slightly. “He cares so much, almost too much. He just doesn’t know how to processit.”
“Well, I hope this isn’t how he decides to process Mom’s death. I can’t have him around Aiden if he’s going to be drunk and angry all the time. I can’t go back there,Brock.”
“I know.” I felt the weight of Brock’s heavy hand on my shoulder. He squeezed gently before releasing. “Get some sleep. I’ll be by in the morning to deal withhim.”
Brock left and I got ready for bed. It took hours for me to fall asleep, between worrying about my little brother and beating myself up over the mortifying situation withTravis.
When I finally did sleep, the nightmarescame.
My limbs were twisted up in my sheets as I thrashed about. Sweat coated my skin, and fear clenched around my heart like avice.
I dreamt of him, of Richie. I dreamt of fingers around my neck, squeezing and cutting off my air supply. I woke up gasping for air, my hands scratching at my throat. My heart raced wildly, and the breaths I drew in didn’t seem to be enough to fill my starvedlungs.
I hadn’t had a nightmare that intense inyears.
“Mommy?” a little voice said. I turned my head, seeing Aiden’s silhouette at the side of mybed.
“Yes, baby?” My voice shook from the adrenaline of mynightmare.
“Can I sleep with you? I had anightmare.”
“Of course,” I untangled my legs from my sheet and opened my arms. As soon as Aiden settled beside me, my heart started to return to its regularpace.
I laid there with him for another five hours, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind wouldn’t shut off. As if I didn’t have enough crap on my plate to deal with, but I couldn’t stop beating myself up over my stupid decision to basically ask Travis for a one-night stand. His refusal was a fresh wound that wouldn’t stoppulsing.
I mused that the nightmare could have come from my fear when Braden pushed me mixed with my attempt to force myself on Travis, and the rejection thatfollowed.
Tears blurred my vision, and I blinked them away with frustration. I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself. The funeral was later that day, and I’d have to stand up and read my speech. I took comfort in the fact that our family wasn’t very well-liked around here. At least that meant there wouldn’t be a lot of peoplepresent.
Aiden was still snoring softly when I finally decided to give up on sleep. I slipped out of my bed and headed to the bathroom. The woman looking back at me had bags under her eyes and a sadness that seemed to seep out from everypore.
Sighing, I turned on the shower. I needed to wash away yesterday’s mistakes. I dreaded seeing Travis later, but I knew he’d be at the funeral. Even if years had passed since they last saw each other, Brock was one of his best friends, and I knew Travis well enough to know that he would be there for him. Travis wasalwaysthere for hisfriends.
