I wasn’t ugly, and I knew that, but that knowledge didn’t make looking in the mirror any easier. I wore my sadness and my scars like a cloak, even though I tried not to. I could see it in the worry line between my eyebrows, and in the depths of myeyes.
But for the first time in a long time, I saw something else. A spark; the urge to be reckless andselfish.
Taking a deep breath, I made my way back to the table. Travis was sitting there, alone. It was almost a rare sight...him alone. He usually had a bunch of women circling him like vultures, or he was hanging out with hisfriends.
I sat down, a peculiar look on my face as I studied him, allowing myself to drift away in the possibility of one night withhim.
If I was ever going to have a one-night stand, it had to be with someone who made me feel safe, and it couldn’t ever be serious. There was no way inhellI’d ever give my heart to another person again, not after Richie had destroyedit.
Plus, there was Aiden to think of. I didn’t want to be the kind of mother who brought all sorts of men home. I didn’t want him to get attached to anyone I saw. Again, a one-night stand madesense.
Travis seemed ideal because he was always on the road touring and had absolutely no desire to settle down any time soon. He seemed to enjoy casual sex, so I figured it was a no-brainer.
“What’s up?” he asked, tilting his head and trying to figure out the meaning behind my strangeexpression.
I bit my lip and forced my eyes away from his. “I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere withme?”
“Where?” he asked, his eyes sparking with interest as he watchedme.
“A hotel room.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. My cheeks heated with embarrassment at the astonished look on hisface.
To my surprise, the astonishment faded pretty quickly, and Travis’s eyes smoldered as he stared at me. Tension crackled between us, making every fine hair on my arms stand up. That look melted all of the oxygen between us. It left me dizzy, a feeling akin to stepping off one of those twirl-a-whirl carnivalrides.
“That’s a very enticing idea, Becs,” Travis drawled, pausing to take a heady sip of his whiskey, his eyes never leaving my face. I loved the way his lips shaped my nickname. He lowered his heady gaze to my lips, and my tongue darted out in response to the animalistic glint in his eyes. He shook his head, trying to snap out of whatever R-rated place his thoughts had taken him. I squirmed in my seat, squeezing my legs together to ease the ache between my thighs. “But you’re grieving. You aren’t thinkingclearly.”
I froze. His words doused me as if they were coldwater.
I hadn’t planned on him saying no. Travis was a known womanizer, I figured he’d go for some no strings attached sex in a heartbeat. Immediately, embarrassment washed over me. “You’re saying no?” I swallowed. I had no idea why I was asking for the clarification. I suppose I was shocked, and what he had said had taken a moment to sinkin.
Travis leaned back against the booth and ran his hand across his stubble-free jaw. He studied me while he did this, like he was trying to figure out the easiest way to reject me without hurting my sensitive feelings. It got my hackles up, and Ibristled.
“You know what? Forget about it,” I said, standing up hastily. My eyes prickled, but I refused to let him see me cry. That would only make this situation more embarrassing forme.
I drew in a quick breath, trying not to let the rejection maim me.What was I thinking? Travis was a chart-topping country singer. He had been with models and actresses. What on earth had given me the audacity to assume he’d want to have a one-night stand with a broken, singlemom?
This was exactly why I didn’t drink, or give into reckless, spur of the momentwhims.
Travis’s hand shot out and grabbed mine before I could move away from our table. “Becky, you just lost your mom,” his voice was gentle, and his eyes implored me to listen. “I don’t want you to make rash decisions right now, especially decisions you’re going to regretlater.”
“What makes you think I’ll regret a one-night stand with you?” I deadpanned. “Unless you’re confessing that you are terrible at sex, which whatever. I don’t have much experience to go off here. Whether it’s with you or not, I’m going to have sex. I haveto.”
I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that they weretrue.
“I’m not terrible at sex,” Travis retorted, arching a brow and smirking. “I just want to know why? Why now? Why the rush? Whyme?” he added. The look that flitted across his face almost seemed…vulnerable.
“It’s just time, and you were here,” I answered, flushing a deeper shade of red. For a moment, he looked stricken. “I’m sorry I even said anything. Forget about it.” I pulled away from his touch and scanned the crowd for anescape.
I spotted Braden over at the bar, his lips locked on a girl that definitelywasn’this girlfriend. Elle was back at my house helping Tessa watch Aiden. I stormed away from Travis without saying another word, intent on slapping the stupid off my younger brother. I needed to focus on his self-made problems so I didn’t fallapart.
Brock was attempting to pull Braden away from the blonde girl. “Brock is right, we’re going now,” I told him, grabbing his arm and trying to tug him away. He shoved me, and I stumbled, the air leaving my lungs as I was propelledbackwards.
Travis caught me, his strong arms enveloping me for a moment before he helped me find my footing. I hadn’t even realized he’d followed me. I thought he was as eager as I had been to escape the awkwardness betweenus.
I tried to control my breathing. Seeing Braden like that scared me. In that moment, he seemed so much like ourfather.
“I’m not a kid! You can’t fucking tell me what to do,” he shouted angrily, acting every bit like achild.
Mick limped around the bar to confront Braden. “Hit the road, Miller. You’re cut off,” he said, his tired blue eyes flashing with anger. I’d never seen the quiet man respond to rowdy patrons like that. Then again, I didn’t spend a lot of time atO’Riley’s.
