I nodded, watching her go. I stood in the hallway for a moment before turning and walking down the hall to Aiden’s room. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in his underwear, playing with his plasticdinosaurs.
“Alright, how about thatbath?”
Aiden jumped up, racing away, his laughter echoing down the hallway. My heart swelled with love for him, for this precious boy that came out of a dark circumstance and made my worldbrighter.
I awoke with a start on the living room sofa. I’d fallen asleep while watching some cheesy movie on the Lifetime channel while the tears had silently slipped down my cheeks, coatingthem.
Bedtime had been a challenge. Before she got really sick, Mom had been the one to read Aiden his bedtime stories every night. Braden skipped parts of the story, just to get it over with because he hated reading, and I was always in a hurry. I had a heavy course load in my nursing program, and there was always an assignment to do or an exam to studyfor.
But Mom…she’d taken her time. Naturally, Aiden preferred her, and when it was time for bed, he’d quickly get ready before grabbing a book from his shelf and scurrying down the hallway, toward his Grammy’sroom.
My heart broke at the sight of him the moment he remembered. His blue eyes filled with tears, and he dropped the arm that had gripped the book tightly to his chest with excitement just momentsbefore.
“Mommy,” his jaw quivered, and I went to him, picking him up and cradling him to mychest.
When I finally calmed him down enough and started to read, I took my time and made all the characters have different voices. I did it as a way to remember her by, as a way to honour her and maybe ease the ache in Aiden’s heart—and my own—alittle.
But after that…I’d needed a good cry fest. Anxiety twisted in the pit of my belly as I waited for Brock to call me and tell me that he’d found our younger brother, who wasstillmissing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax until I heard Braden wasokay.
Until that happened, all I could do was stared blindly at the television, not really seeing the movie I’d put on, my heart aching with eachpulse.
At almost two in the morning, the front door flew open with a thud, smacking against the bench in the front hall. I pressed a hand to my racing heart as two men stumbled inside. One was leaning heavily against the other, wobbling on hisfeet.
The light from the glow of the television made it possible for me to see the outlines of the two stumbling men. My brothers, Brock andBraden.
“Oh my God, what happened?” I half whispered, half shouted as I raced over to them. The smell of liquor greeted my nostrils, and I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “He’sdrunk.”
Brock said nothing as he dragged our brother to the sofa and dropped him down on it. He picked up Braden’s legs and placed them on the couch, grabbing a blanket off the back and throwing it over him. Braden was snoring before his head even hit thecushion.
Brock looked down at our brother for several moments, a solemn set to his jaw, and sighed. “He’ll be okay. He’ll have one hell of a hangover, but he’ll be at the wake. I’ll make sure of it. If he doesn’t go, he’ll regret it for the rest of hislife.”
“Where was he? O’Riley’s?” I hedged, worry pressing down on me. It wasn’t uncommon for Braden to drink, but he was usually social about it. He drank to have a good time, not to forget. This was Braden drinking to forget, to numb the pain of Mom dying. This was bad, and my stomach felt heavy withdread.
Alcohol had ravaged our family once before, and I didn’t think I could survive watching my younger brother walk down the path our fatherhad.
“Mommy?” Aiden’s tiny voice came from down the hallway, and I quickly went tohim.
“I’m here,” I told him, scooping him up in my arms. I pressed a kiss to the soft skin on hisforehead.
“Will you lay with me?” he asked, resting his head against my shoulder as I carriedhim.
“Of course,” I whispered, holding him a little closer the rest of theway.
I got us settled in his bed and he curled up beside me, facing me. His blue eyes bore intomine.
“I miss Grammy,” he whispered, curling up in my arms. “I don’t want her to be gone.” His little voice broke, and it shattered my heart. I hated seeing my baby boyhurting.
“I know, sweetie,” I told him, drawing him closer to me. I brought my hand up to brush his thick, dark hair out of his eyes. “Grammy didn’t want to go either, but she’ll always be in your heart. She’ll always be your guardianangel.”
“That’s not the same as her being here,” Aiden remarkedsadly.
I said nothing—I had no response, he was right. It wasn’t the same, and I was struggling with thattoo.
I rubbed his back in a small, circular motion, and it wasn’t long until his breathing tapered off and he drifted back to sleep, his soft snores filling the darkenedroom.
Worry churned in my gut, a sorrow so deep I felt it in my bones. In a matter of months, my entire world had imploded in on itself—again.
Only this time, Mom was gone. She wouldn’t be there to help me rise from the ashes. I had to do it on my own, and I had to find the strength to help my son and my youngerbrother.
