“So basically, he works twice a week,” Braden joked from just behind us. His eyes landed on me again, and his amused smile faded slightly.
“You won’t be cracking jokes when I kick your ass in the derby, Braden.” Ezra arched a brow.
“You wish,” Braden smirked, shaking his head.
The announcer’s voice poured from the speakers, telling the crowd that the smash-up derby was about to begin and asking the drivers to enter the ring.
We wished them luck and made our way to the stands to find a seat. I tried to keep my eyes on Braden’s Honda, but the sickening sound of metal crunching against metal had my heart pounding frantically in my chest. I inhaled sharply, trying to keep my breathing steady even though it felt as if my airway was closing.
I squeezed my eyelids shut, and all I could see was every car accident I’d been called out to as a paramedic—only in place of those victims, I saw Braden’s face. Bloodied and bruised, his eyes lifeless as he looked up at me. Soon, I was gasping for air, my heart pounding frantically in my chest. Alex placed his hands on either side of my face and told me to breathe. “It’s okay, Elle. Just breathe,” he said. I opened my eyes, fixing them on his face, and tried to focus on his gentle touch. He brushed away the tears with his thumbs. My body was trembling out of control, and despite Alex’s calm voice—I just couldn’t get my breathing under control.
Tessa was suddenly kneeling before me, concern lining her features. “What can I do?” I heard her ask Alex, but she sounded far away to my ears. I could scarcely hear over the roar of my blood.
“I’m just going to get her out of here. I think the derby is triggering her panic attack,” I heard Alex answer. He tugged me up and carefully led me away from the stands. My eyes were pulled over to the stadium again—the first round had ended and Braden was getting out of his car, his eyes locked on me.
Braden
I’d made it through the first round, but struggled to keep my focus for the second round. I couldn’t get Elle’s tear streaked face out of my mind. I had no idea why she was crying, no idea where that Alex asshole had taken her, and I was desperate to find out.
Needless to say, I wasn’t all that disappointed that I didn’t make it through the second round. My thoughts were occupied with Elle, and I immediately started searching for Brock and Tessa. I found them waiting near the stadium entrance, as if they’d known I’d go looking for them and wanted to make it easy. “Where’d she go?” I demanded, my eyes narrowed with anger. “What happened?”
Tessa exchanged a look with Brock. “She had a panic attack,” she finally answered, returning her gaze to me. Her eyes were sad and worried.
“A panic attack?” I repeated, the words sounding unfamiliar in my mouth. I’d never known Elle to have a panic attack in all the years I’d known her. “Why?”
“It’s not my place to tell you why,” Tessa said, giving me a sharp look. “It’s up to Elle if she wants to tell you why.”
“Where is she?” I almost growled, aggravated. My fists clenched and unclenched, itching to punch her boyfriend in his overly squared jaw. Of course I blamed him—Elle had never had panic attacks when she was with me. He had to have done something to cause it.
Tessa looked hopelessly towards Brock for help. “Braden, relax,” my brother said, stepping forward and placing his heavy hand on my shoulder, grounding me. “She’s safe with Alex.”
“The hell she is. She’s safer with me,” I blurted out, angry. I was pissed that I wasn’t the one comforting her right now, pissed off that Alex was even in the goddamn picture. I knew I’d all but pushed her into his arms and only had myself to blame.
Without another word, I spun away and started off in the opposite direction, my eyes searching the crowd for Elle’s dark hair. I found her over near the food trucks, sitting on one of the picnic table benches with her head buried in her hands. There was no sign of Alex—and thank God for that, I was so pissed off I’d likely throw fists first and ask questions later.
I sat down beside her. “What happened?” I asked, emotion clogging my words.
Elle stiffened upon hearing my voice. She lifted her head up, her eyes red-rimmed from crying and her brow furrowed with confusion. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw you leaving the stands,” I answered. “Why were you crying?”
She was silent, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. She opened and closed her mouth several times, searching for something to say. “I had a panic attack,” she muttered, closing her eyes as if she was embarrassed to see my reaction.
“What brought it on?” I angled my body towards hers, letting our knees touch. I brought my hand up and brushed her dark hair out of her face. Her eyes flew open, locking with mine.
“Post-traumatic stress disorder,” she whispered after a pause, biting her lip. “I guess I’m not cut out for the life of a paramedic after all.” Her jaw trembled, and she shook her head slightly. “I haven’t even been on the job for two years, Braden. I’ve only seen a handful of truly horrific accidents, and I’m already unravelling.”
She sounded so broken, so lost, so not the girl I knew and it tore me up in the worst possible way. All I wanted was to take her in my arms and hold her, kiss her tears away and somehow make it better—make it right.
My hand moved from her face to the back of her head, as I guided her to me. She rested her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her. I tried not to think about how incredible it felt to have her in my arms again but damn, it was amazing. It was the best thing I’d felt in a long time—since I’d last held her. This was where I was supposed to be.
“This doesn’t make you weak, Elle,” I said, because it was all I could say and it was true. She needed to hear it.
“I know it’s crazy, I know it doesn’t make any sense but watching you in the derby…I kept picturing you in place of the…of the people I’d lost on the job, and it was worse. So much worse,” her shoulder shook as the tears poured down her face. “I’ve already lost you once, and I could barely handle it. I couldn’t bear to lose you again.”
“You’re never going to lose me,” I assured her, looking deep into her eyes. “I’ve always been yours…even when I wasn’t.” I added, swallowing hard.
“Elle?”
