I couldn’t help but analyze his every word. He wanted to heal just as badly as I wanted to heal; I could hear it in his voice, but even though he’d said himself that he just wanted to be friends, I didn’t think I could give him that. I couldn’t even give my boyfriend what he wanted. I couldn’t tell him how I was feeling or what I was thinking, either.
Where was the girl who wore her emotions on her sleeve? Where was the girl who could express exactly how she felt and what she was thinking without batting a lash? Why did that part of me have to die when Braden broke my heart, along with what we had?
The guilt I felt over my stupid feelings was consuming me, and I didn't want to face them. Thankfully, there was enough going on to keep me distracted. I was spending a lot of time hanging out with Tessa, helping solidify her plans for the wedding. When I wasn’t doing that, I was preparing for the bachelorette party next weekend.
“Elle, you’ve got a visitor!” Mom’s voice called from downstairs. Curious, I came out of my bedroom and paused at the top of the stairs. Alex was standing in the front foyer with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a smile on his lips.
“Hey…what are you doing here?” I tucked my hair behind my ear and started down the stairs.
“Well, I heard the Parry Sound Stampede was happening, and I didn’t have to work…figured I could accompany you and see what all the hype’s about,” he answered. I came to a stop in front of him and let him wrap his arms around me. I hugged him back, breathing in his freshly showered scent.
“Oh, that’s awesome,” I said hesitantly, pulling away. He held out the bouquet for me and I took it, inhaling the smell of the pretty roses and lilacs. “I wasn’t really planning on going though.” It was true; my intention was to avoid the fairgrounds and all that came with it. I knew the entire gang—including Braden—would be there all weekend. They always were. There wasn’t much to do in this town, and the Parry Sound Stampede was the biggest event of the year.
“What do you mean you weren’t thinking about going?” Mom asked me, frowning. “Tessa’s competing tomorrow, and I could use the extra hands Sunday morning.”
“What’s happening Sunday morning?” Alex asked, looking from my mom to me.
“The chili cook-off,” Mom answered when I didn’t. “I participate every year. Usually Elle helps me, but I’ve lost her hands in recent years.”
“I have to head out in the afternoon but we’d be happy to help in the morning,” Alex told her, his hands rubbing my shoulders. “Wouldn’t we?” He arched a brow at me, encouraging me to speak.
I painted a smile on and nodded. “Sure, of course. It’ll be…fun,” I swallowed. I felt weird about it—helping Mom with the chili cook-off used to be my thing with Braden. Having Alex there would just feel…wrong.
“I was just about to head out to the tractor pull,” Mom added, arching a brow at us. “Are you two going to come?”
I didn’t really want to go to the fairgrounds, but I also knew that staying in with Alex was a bad idea. I hadn’t counted on him showing up this weekend, and I was still trying to process my feelings. “Alright, just let me find a vase.” I said, looking at Alex.
Fifteen minutes later, we’d found a parking spot and the three of us were making our way to the stadium. Dusk had fallen but the fairgrounds were brightly lit, illuminating the crowd that had gathered to watch the tractor pull. Mom stopped to talk to almost every single person we came across.
“Your mom’s pretty popular,” Alex remarked, his lips inches away from my ear.
“Yeah, she’s lived here her entire life. She knows everyone and everyone loves her,” I shrugged. She was nice to everybody, and was the first person to show up and help someone out when they needed it. The town adored her for it—and her award winning chili helped keep her in their good favour, too.
Alex took my hand while I glanced around the stands, looking for free seats. “Elle! Elle! Over here!” my eyes followed the sound of my name being shouted, and I saw Tessa jumping up and down in the middle upper section of the stands. She was sitting beside Brock, Becky, and Aiden. Thankfully, I saw no sign of Braden.
I led the way up the steps to where my best friend and her future family were sitting. Becky and Brock smiled at us in greeting, and Aiden stared at Alex with distaste. I almost chuckled—he looked so much like his uncle when he made that face. My laughter died in my throat at the mere thought of Braden; and the accompanying pesky, throbbing ache in my heart.
“Alex, this is Tessa’s fiancé Brock, his sister Becky and her son Aiden. Everyone, this is Alex,” I said, making the introductions as quickly as I could. I sat down beside Tessa and Alex sat beside me.
“I didn’t know you were coming to town this weekend,” Tessa said, leaning forward so she could address Alex.
“I wanted to surprise Elle,” he answered, putting his arm around me. I smiled tightly and tried to relax.
“Elle prefers to do the surprising.” My heart thudded loudly in my chest as we all turned to see Braden standing a few feet away, his hands full of popcorn and drinks. He was staring at Alex’s arm around me, his expression unreadable. Alex tensed beside me.
“Uncle Braden!” Aiden exclaimed, grinning. “Did you get the cotton candy lemonade?”
Braden’s eyes broke away from us and landed on his nephew. He grinned, a smile that sent me back four years and made me melt all over again. “Of course I did!” He made his way past us without a second glance, and everyone scooted over to make room for him beside Aiden. “I also got you a candy apple—but save it for later,” I heard him add when Becky went to scold him.
I inhaled, breathing in the evening air. I gave Alex a small apologetic smile before leaning into him. He relaxed, his hold on me tightening slightly as he drew me closer.
We sat like that throughout the entire tractor pull. Sometimes, I could feel Braden’s eyes on me, staring at us. I knew he was watching to see how I acted with Alex. I knew that he was reading every single gesture, every single movement I made and it pissed me off.
When the tractor pull ended, I grabbed Alex’s hand after saying a quick general goodbye and led him down the stands, searching for my mom. “Don’t you want to stay and go on some rides or something?” Alex asked once we’d stepped off the stands.
I turned and stepped into him, looking him in the eyes. “Rides aren’t really my thing—at least not carnival rides. I figured we could go back to my mom’s and hang out…maybe watch a movie, or something?”
The concern that showed in Alex’s eyes ebbed and he smiled. “Sure, that sounds fun too.” He angled his head down to kiss me, his lips brushing softly against mine. I stupidly chose that moment to look up, my eyes locking with Braden’s.
