"There are dozens of categories. Otters are hairy but slender. Wolves are hairy with lean muscle. Cubs are younger bears. Then you've got?—"
"Hold up." I grab my notebook because this is getting complex. "Otters and wolves? Are we doing a whole animal kingdom thing?"
"I didn't invent the terminology."
"I'm not complaining, just trying to follow." I start sketching out a quick chart. "So bears are big and hairy, twinks are small and smooth, otters are small and hairy...?"
Doc leans forward to look at my notes, and I catch a whiff of… coffee and laundry detergent and something else that I think might be just him.
Whoa, he smells good… Oh no.
"Your handwriting is surprisingly neat," he says.
"Thanks?"
"Most guys write like they're having a seizure."
"Rude but accurate." I add 'wolves' to my chart. "So what are you if you're not a twink anymore?"
He sits back. "I don't know. I don't really think about it."
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me?"
"You've got a whole PowerPoint about gay terminology, but you've never thought about where you fit?"
He's quiet for a moment, that defensive wall sliding back up. "Maybe I don't fit anywhere. Not everyone needs a label."
There's something there, some hurt or frustration I'm not equipped to handle. So I do what I always do, redirect.
"What about a daddy?"
Doc chokes on nothing. "What?"
"It's on your slide." I point to his closed laptop. "I saw it earlier. What's a daddy?"
"You know what a daddy is."
"In gay terms?"
He looks like he'd rather perform surgery on himself without anesthesia. "An older man. Usually masculine. Often in a position of authority or caregiving in a relationship dynamic."
"How old are we talking?"
"Varies. Could be thirties, could be fifties. It's more about energy than age."
"Energy?"
"Protective. Dominant. Experienced." He's staring at the table like it holds the secrets of the universe. "Can we move on?"
"Sure." I make another note. This is fascinating, watching him squirm.I like watching him… oh no…
"What's a queen?"
His shoulders relax slightly. "Feminine gay man. Often flamboyant. Historically, it was derogatory, but it's been reclaimed."
"Like the n-word?"
