O' Christmas tree
JAMES
"Absolutely not." I fold my arms across my chest for effect, but I think my argument is falling on deaf ears. "Artificial trees are practical, economical, and don't drop needles everywhere for weeks. Plus, they're significantly less likely to burn the house down."
Saturday afternoon, and somehow this has become the most heated debate the DPO house has seen since the Great Pizza Topping Controversy of last spring. The subject? Christmas trees.
Brilliant. My Saturday has devolved into a Christmas tree debate club.
"James, my friend, you're missing the entire point of Christmas," Drew says, looking personally wounded by my logical stance. Our frat president is wearing a Santa hat proudly. "It's about tradition! The experience! The smell!"
"The smell of potential electrical fires when the dry branches touch the lights?"
Beside me on the couch, Caleb snorts. "Not to mention the smell of consumerism and capitalism."
He's draped across the corner of the couch, one arm stretched along the back cushions, looking irritated andgorgeous in equal measure. How he manages to make annoyance look attractive is beyond comprehension.
"Hashtag team artificial," Cameron chimes in from the armchair. "My family got a pre-lit one five years ago and never looked back. You literally unfold it and plug it in."
"That's soulless," Tyler argues. "Something about going out as a group, picking the perfect tree, bringing it home... It's special."
"Getting sap all over your car, vacuuming pine needles until Easter, watering it daily so it doesn't become kindling."No one's listening to me anyway.
"Our two favourite grinches," Gavin laughs, entering the room with a tray of hot chocolate. "At least you've found each other to be miserable with."
"Fuck off, Gavin," Caleb and I say at the same time..
The room erupts in laughter and a chorus of "Jinx!" Heat creeps up my ears while I avoid looking at Caleb.
"See? They even share one grumpy brain now," Gavin says, sounding delighted as he hands out mugs of hot chocolate.
"We're simply the only two people here with functioning frontal lobes," Caleb says, accepting a mug with a nod of thanks.
"The tree farm experience is part of brotherhood," Drew insists, steering us back to the topic at hand. "We need these traditions. Plus, our common room opens to the second floor, we have the perfect space for a massive, real Christmas tree."
"He's been planning this since July," Tyler stage-whispers.
Drew flips him off and continues making his case for a real tree. "We each pitch in twenty bucks, get a big beautiful tree, decorate it together, it'll be the last bonding activity before finals."
Eyes roll all around the room, but I have the balls to argue further with Drew. "Nothing says 'focus on academics' like spending six hours decorating a tree."
"Four hours, tops," Drew says, totally serious.
I catch Caleb's eye and see he's trying just as hard not to smile. It's weirdly satisfying to be annoyed about the same thing as someone else.
"Fine. But if this thing catches fire, full rights reserved to say 'I told you so' while the house burns down around us."
"Noted in the official frat minutes," Marcos says, not looking up from his phone.
"Wonderful!" Drew claps his hands like a kindergarten teacher. "The tree farm opens at three. We'll head out in an hour."
As everyone heads to different places, Caleb leans in slightly. "You gave in too easily. Now I'm the lone grinch."
"Sorry to abandon you on Grinch Mountain. But this is a losing battle. Drew's been in full Christmas mode since Halloween ended. I’m conserving energy here."
"Smart," he concedes.
Comfortable silence settles between us, his hand resting close to my shoulder along the back of the couch.Too close. Don't think about it.
