"He said he forgives me but only wants to be friends now." Running a hand through my hair, tugging at the sides until they stick straight out, held by whatever gel's left. "Which is fair. But, I... don't want that."
Jaren's eyes light up. "So you have a plan?"
"Working on it."
He settles in, clearly not planning to leave. "How can I help?"
"You can't. I don't want anyone picking sides."
"I'm not picking sides. I think you're both being idiots." Jaren grins. "But you were a lot less... you... when you were getting laid regularly."
A surprised laugh bursts out of me.
"What?" Jaren shrugs innocently. "You didn't come back some nights, and the walls in this place are thin. Plus, a happy Caleb plays less depressing music."
"Jesus Christ." My smile won't go away.Dammit.
"Seriously, though," he says, "how can I help? I want my roommate back, the one who occasionally smiled and didn't glare at me when I said good morning."
"I never glared at you."
"Dude, your morning face could curdle milk."
Throwing a pillow at him doesn't work when he easily catches it.
"See? That's the Caleb I pledged with. Not this moping robot who's been haunting our room."
His sincerity sucker-punches me. I hadn't realized Jaren was paying attention, let alone cared.
"I'm sorry… I've been a terrible roommate."
"Nah." He tosses the pillow back to me. "You've been heartbroken. Different thing."
Studying him for a moment, I weigh my options. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Like a vault." He mimes locking his lips.
"I want to fix things with James. I..." The words catch in my throat. I've barely admitted this to myself. "I think I'm in love with him… I’m in love with him and I want him back. I'll do whatever it takes."
Jaren's expression softens. "Well, shit. That's worth fighting for."
"Yeah, but I don't know how. I'm not exactly..." Both my hands do some weird jazz-hands thing that makes me want to die. "...good at this stuff."
"You're overthinking it. What does James care about?"
The question is so simple that it surprises me somehow: "He cares about people. He's about making a difference. He volunteers for LGBTQ+ youth all over. It's important to him."
Jaren nods encouragingly. "So start there."
"I've been working on something for Rainbow Haven House."
"That youth shelter place where we did the gingerbread?"
"Yeah. James is a volunteer. They need repairs badly. I've lined up a contractor who has a lesbian daughter. She's coming next week to assess and donate some professional work."
"Did you tell James?"
Turning back to my laptop. "I want it to be a surprise. But I also don't want it to seem like I'm trying to buy his forgiveness."
