Curtis nodded his acknowledgment of this statement before he took another mouthful of his tuna steak. Andrew fiddled with his cutlery for a moment, and then he looked up with an apologetic smile. “So, uhm, where do you go to have—fun?” He put a certain emphasis on the word “fun” to make clear what he meant. Curtis found it adorable.
“I have myfunat Club Whisper. I became a member when I first moved here, and I can’t say I regret the choice. Where do you go? You haven’t been here long, but have you found a club already?”
Curtis had seen how Andrew had flinched at the mention of Club Whisper and he wondered if there was a story there or if it was something else. He was pretty sure Andrew couldn’t afford the fees for Whisper, but if he was with a member—such as Curtis—he could go there to play. And even though Curtis would prefer if they always went to Whisper, he was perfectly willing to try out any club Andrew had chosen for himself should they ever get to that stage. At the moment, though, Andrew didn’t look like a man with fun on his mind. More like a man who had bitten into something sour.
“Uhm, to be honest, I haven’t chosen a club yet. I went to Club Submission last week, but, well, that’s not exactly my scene. I did meet another Dom there, though, and we’re going to check out Club Eros tomorrow. You could come with me, if you wanted….” The last sounded hopeful, and Curtis was tempted to say yes, just to see Andrew in an environment that hopefully made him more comfortable around Curtis, but tomorrow was their boys’ night, and he didn’t want to miss the movie Emilio would show them. The boy had remarkable taste, unlike Peyton, who loved everything Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson. Though Curtis had to admitBaywatchdid have a certain appeal. No gay man with blood in his body could say no to that many tasteful muscles, even if the humor was kind of childish.
“I’m sorry, Andrew. I’d love to come with you, since I haven’t been to Eros before, but tomorrow I’m meeting with my friends. It’s our movie night and I can’t miss that. But we could go another night if you think the club is good. Or we could go somewhere else.”
Andrew looked a bit disappointed, but he managed a small smile. “Sure. That would be great,” he announced with false cheer.
For some reason, Andrew clammed up after that, and Curtis found it increasingly difficult to keep even the small talk flowing. “I really like the herbal crust in combination with the lemon sauce on my fish. The chef is so good at combining flavors and giving the customers new experiences, don’t you think?”
“Mmhmm,” was all Andrew had to offer.
“Is your meal not to your taste? It looks delicious.” Curtis was trying hard to get some words out of his sour date.
“It’s fine. Bit over-the-top, if you ask me.” Andrew sounded so dismissive, Curtis decided to change the topic.
“What was Colorado like? I have to admit, I’ve never been there. I heard winter can be hard.”
“Yeah, we do get a lot of snow.” That was it. Nothing more, no funny stories about Andrew learning to ski or how he got snowed in or anything like that. It was like talking to a wall.
Curtis honestly didn’t know what he had done wrong, and by the time Andrew asked for the check, he was angry enough to insist on them splitting the bill. Andrew tried to argue with him over it, but Curtis was done being polite. As discreetly as possible, so as not to disturb the other guests, he hissed: “Just forget it. You were the one who asked me on this date. You were the one who said I’m hot and you wanted to get to know me. You were the one who suggested OLA even though you don’t seem to like it here too much. You were the one who wanted to talk about the lifestyle on our first date, and you were the one who got his panties in a knot when I mentioned Whisper. I don’t know what problem you have with the club, and considering the last forty minutes, I don’t care. I just want to get out of here and forget all about this date from hell.”
With that, he yanked his wallet out of his pocket, slapped a hundred-dollar bill on the table, and then left, still fuming. How could he have been so stupid as to get his hopes up about a date with a complete stranger? Just because Andrew looked good didn’t mean he was a decent man, as evidenced by this evening. He didn’t even run after Curtis, which made him even angrier, because he couldn’t decide if he was relieved about it or insulted. It didn’t matter. Curtis rushed back to the parking lot behind Sweet Break, opened his car, got in, and drove away as if the hounds of hell were at his heels. So much for finding romance outside of Whisper.
Chapter 6
ANDREW STOODfrozen while he watched Curtis leave the restaurant in a hurry. Angry, the man looked even better and his first instinct was to follow him and apologize. But then he hesitated, that nasty little voice at the back of his head telling him it was better like this, better to not get acquainted with somebody who was so clearly out of his league, better to let this man go, who had stirred his heart like nobody in a long time, better to not give something a try that was doomed from the start. Because in the long run, what did he have to offer to a man like Curtis? Even more importantly, what kind of Dom was so crassly inferior to his sub in real life? He didn’t even have a bulky body to at least cement his physical superiority. And if he felt that way after just one date, how could he ever hope to be a good Dominant for Curtis? Andrew knew, should they play, he would constantly wonder if he did certain things to Curtis as a sub, or to Curtis, the member of a different social class who he suddenly found under his thumb.
Andrew had made a habit of never lying to himself, and he knew he could never be sure. He also knew this concern played only a minor part, the bigger one reserved for the fact that he felt insecure and like a teenager in Curtis’s company. He might have been able to get over the fancy car, impeccable manners, and the fact that the staff at OLA treated Curtis like royalty. But the moment he casually mentioned only going to Whisper, as if that was the only club worth considering, and then shot down Andrew’s invitation to accompany him to Eros because of some stupid movie night he could have any day of the week, Andrew had taken it personally and retreated into himself, his tried and tested approach when a situation got too uncomfortable for him to handle. He wasn’t proud of it, fully aware that adults didn’t pout like rebellious teenagers when something didn’t go their way, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. And when Curtis had made polite small talk as if nothing were amiss, it had only cemented the fact that the man was way out of Andrew’s league. With a sigh, Andrew gathered his wallet and slowly went for the door, intent on giving Curtis enough time to leave so that they wouldn’t run into each other at Sweet Break. He also tried to ignore the painful squeeze in his chest at letting a man he probably would have loved getting to know better go.
“HEY MAN,I’d ask how you’re doing and how your date went, but just looking at you, I can see it wasn’t that great, huh?” Tim’s booming voice held a hint of pity that made Andrew flinch. He had seriously considered cancelling his night out with Tim just to avoid the rehashing of last night’s disaster.
“It was a catastrophe. An absolute fuckup.” Andrew didn’t even try to keep the dejection from his voice. It was too late anyway. Tim frowned at him.
“Was he a jerk? Did he act out?”
Andrew shook his head. It took a moment for Tim to connect the dots, but then he raised a brow. “It was you. You blew it, didn’t you?” If there had been the faintest trace of mocking in Tim’s voice, Andrew would have punched him in the face and written their budding friendship off. As it was, Tim looked almost as defeated as Andrew, so he forgave him. “Man, I’m sorry. I know exactly how that feels. You try to be all nice and charming and before you know it, you’ve put your foot in your mouth and it’s all over before it even began.”
Judging from Tim’s sad tone, this had happened to him more than once.
“Would it be okay if we didn’t go to Eros tonight? I’m in the mood for a few beers and something stronger to swill them down.”
Tim nodded. “Yeah, no problem. The way you look, they probably wouldn’t let us in anyway, and if they did, no sub would be willing to talk to us. Let’s have some beer, and then you can tell me all about how you managed to drive your date away.”
Andrew bared his teeth. “Too soon, Tim, too soon.”
Tim just laughed and hailed a cab. A night of drinking and driving didn’t go well together.
When they arrived at the same biker bar they had been in the previous weekend, it was packed already. They had to drink their first beer at the bar, mostly just staring into the amber liquid or at the other patrons, because it was too loud to have a decent conversation. When they finally got a booth at the back, the drop in noise was considerable. Without several people shouting out their orders in an attempt to get the bartender’s attention, a civilized conversation was possible again. They both downed the shots they had taken from the bar before Andrew found the courage to start talking.
“To explain what went wrong yesterday, I have to start with my childhood.” Andrew looked at Tim to see what impression his words made. He couldn’t suppress a chuckle when he saw his friend putting on invisible glasses and taking notes on an equally invisible pad. “I was happy as a child, no problems there. The point is, we never had a lot of money. My parents both worked hard and we never lacked food or clothing, but they couldn’t afford to send me and my sister to college. I learned to be a baker, and I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but all through my childhood, I heard my father venting about ‘those rich idiots in charge,’ or the ‘overprivileged scum that was born with a golden spoon in their ass.’ You know, the kind of talk you expect from somebody who had to struggle all their life and feels bitter about it. Justifiably so.” Andrew didn’t want to paint his parents in a bad way; he loved them dearly, and he hoped Tim could understand that. His friend simply nodded.
“I get it. It’s like all Indians are either doctors or computer wizzes. Or all Mexicans are drug dealers and all African Americans are in a gang and every white boy from the South is secretly a member of the Ku Klux Klan.”
Andrew sighed in relief. “Yes, like that. A lot of prejudices and false assumptions. Anyway, I grew up with the class war always present in my mind. I tried very hard to shake it, but that always requires a conscious effort on my part. And it’s not like I’m meeting rich and privileged people every day. And then Curtis comes to Sweet Break in a BMW that probably cost twice what I make in a year. I have to admit, that was a low blow for my ego, but he was so sweet and nice, and did I mention how hot he is?”
