“Nothing safe about it, baby. Besides knowing we’re in it together.”
Those stunning gray eyes of hers sparkle in the darkness as my words hit their mark. Nodding her head, she moves closer, letting me circle my arms around her. Her nose nuzzles against mine and we share the moment for a little while.
“Come on, take your girl out skating.”
“You got it. Anything my girl wants, my girl gets.”
Chapter Seven
Debi
Falling in love is a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
Jenna and I write lots of songs about heartbreak and the hard edge of love. Funny because until recently, neither one of us had a clue about it. We dated boys during high school for sure, but none of them ever made a difference in our lives. They never challenged us or made us grow at all.
Being with Devin is different than I thought being with someone would be like. You hear about romance all the time. You never get to see it or feel it. Devin is all about romance. He sent flowers, got my favorite caramels, he opens doors, and always holds my hand.
He also does things to my body that I am growing addicted to. We lie in bed for hours, his hands on me, his mouth, giving each pleasure until we’re exhausted. I want more but he sets limits. I am not sure if he is just trying to drive me mad with need or wants to convince me he’s a good guy.
Good guy or not, I want to bang him.
Chuckling at my own thoughts as I circle the rink, I can’t help my smile when I look at him. He skates backwards, nodding his head to the Mariah Carey song filling the skating rink as he shows off on his skates. Laughing, I push faster to catch up to him, playfully pushing him as I sing with the song.
“You've got me feeling emotions,” I harmonize as we spin on the floor, colored lights twirling over us. “Deeper than I've ever dreamed of.”
Devin grins big because the lyrics fit us perfectly. Holding hands, our fingers woven tightly together, we circle the floor to a dozen more songs. I sing them because that is what I do, and he draws me close to kiss me or presses his mouth to my neckas he holds me against him. We’re in perfect harmony with one another as we behave like young kids in love.
Because we are. Two kids falling in love even if it is the scariest thing we’ve ever done.
“Want to go grab some pizza?” I suggest with a nod at the concession stand. The smell of pepperoni and the sweet marina has been enticing me.
“Sure, baby, whatever you want.”
Skating to the edge of the floor, he steps up first, turning to help me up. I swear, he is the best guy I have ever met. He does all the things men in those sappy romance movies do. I have no idea how I get to be the girl he chooses, but I am not giving him up.
Gliding across the neon rainbow carpet, we laugh about how unstable we are on our skates at our old age compared to the other kids filling Skateland. At the concession stand we quickly order before I see a familiar face that strikes me cold. All the music, all the noise, and all of the laughter around me fades to silence.
A cold sweat breaks out on my back, and I begin to shake. Not here, not now, not while I'm with him. My stomach knots once I see the recognition twist her weathered face. Well, shit. There is no way to escape this trainwreck now. It is too late.
Devin grabs me and pulls me close, his eyes searching my face full of worry. I wish that he did not read me so well. That he just this once could overlook the clear signs of the panic I am in.
What I really wish is that we were anywhere else. If I could be anywhere else this very second, anywhere else at all in Pine Grove I would rather be there. Sucking in a shaky breath, I start to tell him it is time to go. That I have had enough skating, that our date is over.
I am seconds from lying right to his handsome face.
“Baby, what is it? What is going on?”
“N-no, nothing is wrong,” I stammer as I watch that crooked, wicked smile as she approaches us. “We just…I just need to go. We need to go right now. Please, can we just…”
Devin turns his head as if he feels her slithering over here. Once he sees her, his eyes snap back to mine. Complete horror washes over me because he sees what has shaken me up. It just confirms my worst fears. He can look at her and see the connection to me. He can see that she is tied to me, tied to my trauma, to the emptiness inside of me.
I am crushed. Destroyed. Because if he can lookat meandsee herthen my fears that I will ultimately become my mother were true. It is the same fear that created that cavern, that ache inside of me, refusing to ever let me be happy. Just. Like. Her.
“Well, look who it is sweet little girl,” she drawls with that thick accent that I trained out of myself.
“No. Nope. You do not get to talk to me get to pretend as if you know me. You never knew me. Forget I exist because for you, I don’t I never did,” I break off on a sob before I force it down. I will not let her see me this way. I won’t let anyone see me this way.
“Oh, I know you, little girl. I made ya’, didn’t I? Looks like you got your claws into a nice one here, huh? You say I never did nothing for you but looks as if I taught you something after all, didn’t I?
