I groaned into my couch cushion, not wanting to face reality for one more second. My chest ached like I’d had an organ removed, specifically my heart. I got up and poured myself a shot of bourbon. It probably wasn’t the healthiest way to cope with my ruined life, but I was all out of good ideas. Time to indulge in some bad ones.
I took three shots in quick succession. Instead of making me feel numb, it just gave me a stomachache. In worse shape than when I’d started, I went to the guest bedroom and crawled into her bed, hoping it would help me feel close to her.
The sweet scent of her filled my lungs, and I sucked it in greedily, pulling her pillow right up to my face. It smelled like vanilla and something that was distinctly her, something that didn’t come in a bottle or a spray. Otherwise, I would buy gallonsof it and spread it around the apartment, using it to calm me down like catnip.
At some point, I drifted off to sleep. All my dreams were of her walking away. Her bright red hair swayed over her perfect ass, and when I called her name, she didn’t turn around to look at me.
I woke up sweaty, confused, in a bed I no longer had a right to be in. It was nearly midnight.
I checked my phone to see if she’d contacted me, but there was nothing. I sent her a text, knowing she didn’t want to hear from me, but I asked her to please just let me know she was all right. Even just a thumbs-up or something would do. I was worried sick, even though she wasn’t mine to worry about.
I checked online for flight information, trying to guess which one she might have been on. She would probably fly into Houston, but she might hit up Dallas in a pinch. Clara had been in such a hurry, she might not have been too particular about how she got back.
I should have told her the truth, not just about the stupid bet, but how I really felt about her. I had tried to say it right at the end, but by the time I was ready to be honest with her, she wasn’t in the mood to hear it.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. If it was Clara, I was going to run around in excited circles like a dog whose owner just got back from a long vacation. If it was Troy, I was going to scream at him until he was sorry he’d been born, that prick.
It was neither of them. Nic’s name flashed on my screen and I had no idea what to do.
I let it ring for a moment before answering, breathing fast. “Hey, Nic.”
His voice was a flat monotone. “Clara wanted me to tell you she made it back home to Texas.”
“Nic—”
“Don’t,” he said quickly. “She told me about the bet, the hundred K.”
“Look, I promise she’ll still get the money. I was the one who messed up, not her.”
Nic snorted. “No shit.”
“I didn’t mean for things to go this way,” I said, feeling low. “None of this went the way I planned it.”
“Look, man,” Nic said. “You’re both grownups and I’m not getting involved in whatever you two were getting up to. You broke the fucking bro code, and you kept secrets, but that’s not what’s pissing me off right now.”
I dreaded the answer but I had to ask. “What’s pissing you off?”
“I’m mad because you hurt my little sister’s feelings,” he said. “She’s been crying ever since I picked her up from the airport. And those tears areyourfault, Luke. What the fuck, man? I trusted you.”
“Nic, I know it’s crazy, but I really care about her. I didn’t tell her about the bet with my brother, and I fully own up to that. But I wasn’t using her or faking anything. And I’m ready to get on a flight right now to come tell her that.”
“Don’t bother. She won’t talk to anyone right now. The poor kid’s a mess. I think she only told me about what happened because she needed a ride.”
“How do I fix this?” I asked him.
“You need to figure out what you really want from my sister,” he said.
I paused. “I’m not sure how to explain it. I?—”
Nic ended the call without another word.
I stood in my apartment, having forgotten how cold it felt when I was alone.
CHAPTER 30
CLARA
Iwas so tired of crying. First at the cabin, then in the SUV, Luke’s apartment, the airport, the plane, and finally now in my brother’s bathroom. I was going to need to rehydrate after this. By all rights, I should have looked like a shriveled-up prune left out in the sun too long.
