“Alright, then,” she said, clapping her hands once before turning toward the door. “If the rain doesn’t do it, all these boys stuck inside one house together all day sure will start breaking windows soon. We really should leave before that happens.”
CC immediately started forward, pulling an umbrella out of a stand in the foyer. “That’s so true. One of the reasons why I always wanted at least one little girl. You’re lucky to have had that.”
“Absolutely,” Mom agreed, falling into step beside her. The two women started commiserating about raising boys, a conversation that continued all the way to the spa.
Meanwhile, I stared out the window of the limousine at the sodden world around us with my chest feeling tight, my limbs strangely numb. Laney and Sadie kept glancing at me, but neither of them pried.
Sadie simply reached out to squeeze my hand at one point, obviously suspecting what had happened. I rested my head against her shoulder where she sat beside me, but only for a beat. I didn’t really deserve the comfort anyway and I desperately didn’t want anyone to notice my distress and ask about it.
The spa CC had booked for us was, of course, absolutely perfect. Candles flickered everywhere and eucalyptus-scented mist curled in the air. We were handed plush robes and served food that was probably delicious, but I pushed it around my plate without even registering what it was.
It should’ve been bliss. Outside, the sky was still completely gray, rain now driving sideways into the floor-to-ceiling windows that surrounded us, but that simply added to the experience. I wished I could’ve enjoyed it, but even as I lowered myself into the hot pool and let my body float, my mind was still stuck on last night.
Callum’s spiraling right before my eyes when he found out I’d known all along. The hurt in those magnificent, devastating blue eyes. The pain in his voice. The way he hadn’t followed me.
“Are you alright?” Laney asked, appearing right next to me in the water. I hadn’t even seen her climb in. “You’re really pale and it looks like you didn’t sleep a wink.”
Her gaze was steady and partially analyzing for sure, but mostly, what I saw in those depths was gentle care. When I didn’t respond, she lowered herself until her chin was only just above the surface, her legs treading water as she looked at me.
“You know, Sterling and I went through it a while back. Just after we got married.” A faraway look crept into her eyes. “Of course, we didn’t know each other for long enoughbeforewe got married to have gone through it then. Either way, there are few people in the world who know what it’s like to say yes to a man who’s not proposing so much as offering you a contract.”
“Yeah.” I tried for a smile but failed. “I’m just tired, though. You’re right. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Her eyebrows arched just slightly. “Just tired, or tired because you’re gutted? Because I’ve looked the way you do right now, and it was because I was tired, but I was tired after not sleeping because I was gutted.”
My breathing hitched, but Laney simply watched me for another minute, waiting but not pushing me to say anything. I wanted to tell her, to unload every twisted fear sitting like a stone in my chest, but I couldn’t force the words out.
“I’m fine,” I finally lied.
Laney’s lips curved, but not in amusement. It was more like she saw straight through me. Thankfully, it looked like she was willing to let it go for now. “If you say so.”
CC and my mom were sunk deep in their loungers, still laughing about the woes of raising boys. They told stories about muddy shoes and how none of them seemed capable of putting laundry in a basket. Their voices were easy and bright.
As Laney drifted closer to Sadie and exchanged a look with her, I wanted to sink into that lightness but I couldn’t. Sadie motioned me over and wound up dragging me to the steam room, but even there, outside of earshot of the moms, I just sat on the tiled bench and stared at the floor as if it might hand me the answers.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sadie asked quietly. “If you’re not ready right now, that’s okay, but we’re here if you do need to.”
Every word I wanted to say jammed at the back of my throat. My chest burned with the desire to lay it all out there, but try as I might, I could barely speak. By the time we left the spa, my eyes felt swollen even though I hadn’t cried again.
Back at the castle, I nearly stumbled when we walked in to find that the place had been transformed in a matter of hours. Staff members moved around us at lightning speed, hauling candlesticks, arranging tables, and polishing silver. The great hall was already halfway to a fairy tale.
My mom and CC were in their element, their hands flying as they debated napkin colors between those that had been delivered, laughing over their champagne flutes after one was pressed into each of their hands.
For a second, I envied them their ease and certainty that tomorrow would be a celebration instead of a disaster waiting to happen. When they called me over to get my opinion, I gavethem full control. “It’s all beautiful. You should decide. I trust you.”
Once they were occupied again, I slipped away, disappearing to my bedroom. It felt way too big as I stared at the gown bag hanging over the wardrobe. The pale rose fabric was tucked neatly inside, waiting for a day that suddenly felt impossible.
I curled up on the edge of the bed, my phone clutched in my hand. Part of me had been waiting for a message from Callum all day, telling me that it was over. That he couldn’t forgive me and couldn’t marry me.
Another part of me knew I should be the one to call it off, but I didn’t move to actually do it. I just lay there, the storm inside louder than the one rattling the windows. I missed him. It hadn’t even been a day, but I missed him so much that it hurt.
I missed his touch. The way he smiled at me sometimes like I was his whole damn world. The weight of his hand in mine. The ache in my chest was too much, too sharp, and too real. Eventually, I unlocked my phone and pulled up flights back to Michigan, back to San Francisco. It didn’t really matter, as long as I could go anywhere but here.
The prices made me wince, but if I walked away now, I could still do it with my head held high. Before the guilt consumed me and the Westwoods could threaten to sue. My finger hovered over theconfirmbutton, but then laughter drifted through the stone corridor outside. I got up, following the sound.
Brody was sitting on the floor with Harrison right there on the landing, toy soldiers scattered between them like they were waging a war. Harrison’s deep laughter vibrated through the air while Brody grinned wide, his whole body alive with joy.
I leaned against the doorframe, unnoticed for now, and my chest tightened. This had never been about me. Not really. It was about him. It always had been.
