I frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he said too quickly. His eyes flicked back to the café, then away. “Just saying. You had that trust fund your mom left you. My parents paid for my college. She had none of that…”
He’d smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles on his dress shirt.
“She thrived, though.” I’d pushed him.
“Kinda. She scraped by.” Vinny had shrugged. “It’s her thing. Certainly no thanks to me or you.”
Vinny’s words swirled in my head, leaving a sour taste as they tangled with the therapist’s. Her not-so-gentle push snapped me back into the session.
“And I think that part of you is terrified—because remembering means facing the deep consequences of your fixation with this woman.”
I bristled. “Her name is Nina.”
Dr. Ross drove through my deflection. “The sarcasm, the undermining, the power plays. It’s some deep-seated defense.”
“Oh, please. If I was that much of a monster, she wouldn’t have stayed with me, would she?”
But even as I said it, I knew it was a lie. The tension coiled behind my ribs, a pressure tangling around my vocal chords, wanting to snap out in sharp words. I’d have let it loose if not for Nina—just the image of her shifting under my gaze and flinching under my touch made the heat in my chest curl into something… careful. Instead of lashing out, I swallowed it down, my need to smooth things between us shaping the edge of my thoughts.
Ross’s gaze softened then, and that was worse than the steel. “Or maybe she needs you to confront it. The grief, the hurt, the pain. That’s the difference between the two of you. She’s confronted it all. You’ve run from it.”
The words landed heavy, too close to something I couldn’t name. My mouth opened, then closed again. For the first time, I didn’t have a comeback ready.
I held her stare blankly. Wasn’t this her job, though? To help me figure out how to do it?
She tugged at the sleeves of her blazer, her focus nowhere near me, as if she wasn’t getting paid to fix me. “Look,” she said,“we’ve been doing multiple sessions a week. I’m good at what I do. But therapy won’t work if you don’t want it to. I won’t spoil my success rate for you.”
I sank into the chair. She thought there was no hope for me: forever the asshole.Just like Nina.The lump in my throat resurfaced, tightening and wrenching until it threatened to not just break but explode. Then I realized that giving into the anger would prove her right: I’d always be asshole Lincoln.
I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, eyes firmly on my shoes. “So, you’re saying I can’t take away her hurt?”
Dr. Ross didn’t respond for such a stretched silence I lifted my eyes to hers. “That’s better,” she said. “This works better when we hold eye contact.” She held my gaze and nodded. “No, she hasn’t forgotten. You can’t take away her pain, you shouldn’t. If she’s this important in your life, you need to acknowledge and honor her pain. Especially if you caused it.
“You’re not a lost cause, Lincoln, but you have to want to make changes. This douche-bag energy that you keep bringing here…. That approach isn’t productive, and I don’t engage in distractions.”
I scoffed. “I don’t think you’re supposed to call me that.”
“I’m a little unconventional.” She smirked. “I mean it, though, your attitude’s a distraction.”
She let that hang between us, her blue eyes dark and judgmental on mine. I figured out pretty quickly that I was uncomfortable because she was right. I couldn’t become the man Nina deserved on my own. And she was willing to help me.
“I’ve…,” I whispered. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
Her expression remained impassive for a few seconds, then her lips quivered, borderline smiling. “Do tell,” she said.
“Nina said I don’t know what it’s like. The whispers and feeling ridiculed by everyone because of rumors and whatever else.” I swallowed.
She smiled in response. “Well, that’s somewhere to start, isn’t?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I think I know exactly what to do with it.”
She arched a brow. “And would you benefit from thinking through this with me?”
I shook my head. “Actually, I wouldn’t. I have a clear idea, and I think it’ll be meaningful that I execute this on my own.”
She leaned in. “And you’re following the protocol we created for when you run into gaps?”
