Laughing, I tug him close and kiss the top of his head.
“Wow,” Alex sighs wistfully. “I’m one lucky guy tonight.”
“Why is that?” Elliot asks.
“I’m spending the night with my husband, his brother, and three—” He points to me, Zach, and Carter. “—very tall, handsome men. If only Hayden was here, then I’d be in heaven.”
Blaine growls, face scrunching in a scowl.
Alex winks and gives his husband a loving pat on the chest. “You know you’re my number one.”
“I better be,” he grumbles.
Alex slaps his ass, and they lead us outside to the car waiting to take us to the restaurant.
Lowering my head close to Elliot’s ear, I ask quietly, “Am I missing something?”
He snickers. “So, you know Hayden, mine and Blaine’s agent, and how he used to play for Boston, right? Well, when Blaine and Alex started dating, they went for lunch with Hayden one day and found out Alex used to have a poster of Hayden on his wall. We like to tease Blaine about it.”
“Oh, I bet that didn’t go down well,” I chuckle.
Elliot shakes his head, green eyes gleaming with amusement. “Nope. Every time Hayden is around Alex, Blaine gets all twitchy. It’s not like he doesn’t trust either of them, but he’s so obsessed with Alex that anyone who is the teeny, tiniest bit of a threat, he goes into caveman mode.”
“Kinda like how I am with you, then,” I admit, and the bright smile Elliot rewards me with makes me the luckiest man in the world.
We’re both a little tipsy by the time we get back to his apartment. Dinner was a success, and I may have drunk slightly too much wine. The food was great. The company was great. And my chest is filled with a warmth I thought I’d never get to experience again.
Elliot wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I loop my arms around him, holding him tight to my chest. He didn’t stop smiling throughout the evening. Holding my hand under the table. Laughing and joking.
So it comes as no surprise when he murmurs, “I’m really happy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve always wanted to be able to find my someone so I could have the same kind of love that Blaine and Alex have. And be able to go for dinner with them and Zach and Carter,” he sighs happily. “Tonight has been what I’ve always wanted and hoped it would be.”
Taking hold of his chin, I tilt his head up and seal my mouth over his. His fingers curl into my shirt at the base of my spine, and with my other hand flat on his back, I hold him close.
I don’t know why I was so afraid of this before. Of letting someone close again.
Oflove.
Being with Elliot and his friends was another reminder of something else I’ve been depriving myself of. A real friendship group. Sure, I have the guys at the firehouse, but they have their own lives. They have families and partners, and I’ve always declined their offer whenever they’ve invited me for a drink.
Because I thought that’s what I had to do.
Grief can be such a powerful thing. I’ve been punishing myself for something I cannot change. Restricting myself from friendships or other relationships won’t bring Duncan back. And while I’ve known this all along, it’s only been since I gave myself permission to try with Elliot that I can now see the damage I was doing to myself.
Because the thought of not having Elliot in my life is incomprehensible.
He’s the sunshine in my life. Always shining, even on the coldest of days.
My lighthouse. The ever-steady present through treacherous waters.
I can’t imagine living my life without him, and I know, wherever Duncan may be, if there’s such a thing as an afterlife, he’ll be looking down on us with love, pride, and happiness.
“Take me to bed, Hunter,” Elliot whispers against my lips.
So I do, and I show him exactly how much I’m falling for him.
