“Mason,” Jay murmured, cupping Ryden’s cheek. Ryden leaned into the touch, basking in the way it soothed his soul.
“I was drownin’ in darkness, sweetheart, with no way out in sight. I’d lost all hope, and I blamed Mason for everything that had happened to me, but when I tried to shoot him, I realized I couldn’t do it.” Ryden closed his eyes, the images of that night seared into his brain. Jay knew some of what happened with Mason, but Ryden still had to get it all out.
“When Mason ended up shot, that was it. I’d hurt a good man, and…I thought that was it. Seekin’ revenge kept me going, and that was gone now, too. What was left? I went up on deck and walked to the front of the boat. Lucky followed me. I told him I was sorry and put the gun to my head. He tackled me just as it went off. I broke then.” He shook his head. The shame and guilt were gone, thanks to years of therapy, but the pain of knowing he could have succeeded still hurt his heart. “I used to have nightmares of where I would have ended up if Mason and the guys hadn’t taken me in.”
Jay straddled his lap and hugged him. With a sigh that went down to his core, Ryden wrapped his arms around Jay andburied his face in Jay’s neck. This was what his heart needed, whatheneeded. Jay had never judged him, no matter how bad their little feud got or what words they flung at each other over the years; Jay had never seen Ryden as less than.
“Thank you,” Ryden murmured against Jay’s skin.
“For what?”
“For being you. For listenin’ and not judgin’.”
Jay pulled back and stroked Ryden’s cheek with his thumb. “What happened to you breaks my heart, and I wish you could have been spared all that hardship and pain. You haven’t… I mean, since then, you haven’t wanted to…hurt yourself, have you?”
Ryden covered Jay’s hand with his and turned his face to kiss Jay’s palm. “No, darlin’. Things are very different now. I have a great therapist who gave me the tools I needed to heal. She showed me how to accept help when I needed it and how to ask for help. I have a family now, people who love me, who would be there at the drop of a hat, ready to go to war for me.”
“I would go to war for you,” Jay said softly.
Ryden’s smile couldn’t get any wider. “I love how fearless you are.” He knew Jay wouldn’t like what came next, but Ryden had to try. He ran his fingers through Jay’s hair. “Darlin’, are you sure you need to go to Tampa?”
Jay’s brows drew together, his frown deep. He opened his mouth to reply when Ryden stopped him.
“Before you go gettin’ your feathers ruffled, please understand that my worry comes from a place of love. We don’t know what’s gonna happen down there, and if you were to get hurt or worse… Baby, I would never forgive myself.”
“Why? If something happens, I’m the one who made the decision. Not you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I would because I’d tell myself I could’ve done more. I could’ve done somethin’ to keep you here, safe.”
Jay shook his head, his lips pressed together. “That’s not fair, Ry.”
“I know. Neither would it be fair to lose you after I just got you.”
Jay got off Ryden’s lap, and Ryden sighed. He had a feeling this was going to happen, but he gave Jay his space and let him say his part.
“And what about you?” Jay asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “What if something happens to you, and I’m over here and can’t even see you? I know you’re a Marine, but you work in Risk Assessment, Ry. You’re not out there being shot at all the time, and you sure as hell aren’t fighting other Marines, and murderers at that.”
“True,” Ryden replied, standing. He tried to pull Jay into his arms, but Jay wasn’t having any of it, shaking his head and turning away. “Come on, love.” He wrapped his arms around Jay and leaned in to rest his chin on Jay’s shoulder. “Help me find a compromise here.”
Jay sighed. He turned and slipped his arms around Ryden’s waist. “King’s going to have a base of operations set up somewhere. What if I promise to stay there?”
There was no hesitation. “Deal.” This was as good as it was going to get, and he’d take it.
If it meant Jay was away and safe from these guys, even if he were in the same city, he’d take that over Jay following their every move and risking his safety. Hopefully, they could keep Finch away from Jay. The last thing they needed to worry about was the brothers being at each other’s throats.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Port Tampa Baywasn’t the largest container port in Florida, but it was the largest in terms of area. It was also a major cruise port. Thankfully, the cruise terminals were located on the north side, while the container terminal was situated to the south. In between were various businesses, ranging from home renovations to construction, which meant parked vans and trucks everywhere, with people coming and going at all hours.
Setting up a base of operations in the middle of the night in one of the container yards would have been impossible, what with the guarded security gates, if it weren’t for their resident hacker and cybersecurity expert. Jack initiated a distraction by setting off a false but well-timed radiological detection alarm at the port authority, which prompted the night guards to take action. They probably weren’t too concerned with anyone getting in because there would be no one there to lower the retractable traffic barriers.
As soon as the guards stepped away, Jack lowered the barriers and initiated the looped surveillance footage, taking care of any cameras that might have caught sight of the enormous black surveillance van concealing a cyber command center and nine men dressed in black from head to toe.They parked near a construction company, among several large vehicles and containers, blending in seamlessly.
“I don’t like this,” King muttered, his beefy arms crossed over his chest. “Tell me again why you’re not at the hotel?”
Jay wasn’t about to back down. “Because Ryden and I made a deal. I could come along if I promised to stay in the van.”
Ace, Lucky, Jack, Joker, King, and Finch glared at Ryden, as if it was his fault Jay was along for the ride. Ryden flipped them off.
