Talon eyed me sidelong. “I’m surprised she’s never come up between you—but then again, maybe not. Esmerine was, he claimed, the love of his life.”
33
Esmerine
Theloveofhislife.
I stopped, startled by how tight and cold my chest suddenly felt. I shouldn’t have been surprised to learn that Octavian had a “love of his life“—for chrissakes, he’dtoldme his heart belonged to someone else—but I wasn’t expecting the news to stab me right in the tender bits.
But he also said he can’t rememberwhohas his heart, I reminded myself. Which made things evenmoreconfusing…but also explained a few things, too. Talon had mentioned Esmerine’s name when we first arrived here—commenting on how he thought Octavian would never get over her—and Octavian had responded with a confused, “Who?”
He’d forgotten her, somehow. And yet his heart hadn’t. How did something like that even come to happen?
Talon had stopped, and he turned to face me, sympathy in his eyes. He had one of those gazes that looked right into you, that made you feel like you were the only person in the world while his attention was on you. Octavian may have been the hero, but this guy was the natural-born leader, the sort of man who inspired loyalty.
“I don’t know what Oak has been doing these last ten years,” he said, “and you and I have only just met, but anyone with eyes can see that he cares about you.”
Considering that he was the second person today who’d said as much, I was inclined to believe it. But it wasn’t so simple.
“I’m not questioning that,” I said, continuing down the passage toward my door. “It’s just…complicated. And hearing about Esmerine makes itmorecomplicated.” Not to mention that I was secretly judging myself for getting all angsty over aguywhen I was currently trapped in another world and constantly running into things that were trying to kill me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be treating you like some sort of couples counselor.”
“A what?”
Oof. I need to be more careful with how I talk in this world.Especially since it appeared that Octavian hadn’t told his friend the full truth about where he’d been and who I was. “I just didn’t mean to pull you into this. I’m sure you’ve got bigger things to worry about than whether or not I get laid.”
Again, my current emotional state made mefarblunter than I intended, but Talon only seemed amused by my word-vomit.
It actually made me like him even more.
“There are always bigger problems,” he said, inclining his head so that one of the birds could give his cheek a nuzzle. “That doesn’t mean the smaller ones don’t matter.” His kohl-rimmed eyes danced across my face. “I’ll admit—I’m curious about the woman who showed up here with my friend after so many years. He told me you saved him.”
“He did?”
Talon nodded. “Him and Prince Alastor and the other one—Radven. And now you have the Circle after you.” His curiosity was written in every line of his face. “There’s obviously something special about you, something that goes beyond your apparent power.” His eyes dipped briefly to my wrist, where the pearls were plainly visible. “And I know Oak sees it, too. Give it time. Men are often fools when it comes to matters of the heart.”
I wasn’t going to argue with that last bit, and as for the part before…I wanted to believe it was as simple as giving it time, but everything Octavian told me in the woods—about feeling a hole in his chest, about having no heart to give—was too fresh to just sweep under the rug and forget.
Still, I smiled and nodded at Talon. “Thank you.”
Talon saw right through me. I could tell. We’d reached my door, and he leaned casually against the wall beside it, one eyebrow raised. His feathered companions took flight, flitting around the curved ceiling of the passage as if to give us a little privacy.
I couldn’t help myself. With my hand on the doorknob, I asked, “What happened to Esmerine?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m not sure anyone does, honestly. One day she just…disappeared.”
Cold washed down my spine. “What do you mean?”
“She vanished. Without a word to anyone. Oak just about lost his damn mind looking for her.” He shook his head. “Then, about a week after her disappearance, almost ten leagues from Riversend, he found…”
“What?” I pressed.
“He found pieces of her. I’m not sure what—he wouldn’t tell me more than that. Wouldn’t say much of anything.”
“Who—orwhat—did that to her?” I didn’t speak louder than a whisper.
“No one knows. Not even Oak. He lost himself after that, went mad hunting for any clue as to what had happened or who could have done such a thing. Or whyshewas the target.” His eyes met mine, and I could see true grief for his friend in their dark depths. “Oak blamed himself, naturally. He was convinced that she had been killed to get to him, but if that was the case, then why did no one ever come forward to claim the act?” Another shake of his head. “And Esmerine was no helpless fool, either. She could have easily defended herself against any of the beasts that roamed the woods and valleys near Riversend. And she wouldn’t have run off by herself, or been easily tricked by someone who meant her harm. We all knew it.Oakknew it. Which is why the whole thing just…broke him.”
I couldn’t breathe. There was a lump in my throat that refused to go down.
