Maybe it makes me just like him.
I hate him for what he did. But God, I still want him at the same time. And I don’t know how to reconcile the two.
When I look over, his face is half shadowed by the moonlight slipping through the windows. His lashes rest against his cheeks, and a strand of dark hair falls across his forehead. That tattoo on his chest rises and falls with each breath, like he’s finally at peace because I’m near.
But I don’t feel peace. I’m unraveling.
Peeling back the covers, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, the floor cold against my skin. Getting to my feet, I slide into my sneakers that are tucked neatly in the corner and grab my phone off the nightstand before throwing on his oversized hoodie.
Maybe a quiet walk and some fresh air will help me sleep.
As I give him one last glance, a part of me considers climbing back into bed and acting like none of this ever happened. Just losing myself in his warmth and the fragile illusion that love is enough.
But it isn’t.
Without a word, I step out the door. The bodyguard is out cold on the chair, his head tilted back, completely unaware that I’m about to break Aleksei’s rule. I only plan to be gone for ten minutes, just enough time to help clear my head.
When the elevator arrives, I step inside, and it descends with a quiet hum. By the time the doors open into the lobby, the massive clock on the far wall is the only thing that seems awake. It’s barely five a.m., and the concierge doesn’t even lift his head from the desk as I pass.
I push through the exit, and the salty air slams into me, seeping straight through the hoodie.
God, I’ve always loved being near water. There’s something about it that never changes. Beautiful and terrifying in equal measure. It can calm you or pull you under without warning, and you never know which it’s going to be until it’s too late.
I follow the curve of the sidewalk toward the pier, the distant lights flickering through the dark like a trail of stars. The chill cuts through Aleksei’s hoodie as I hug it tighter around myself.
I wonder if he woke up. If he’s noticed I’m gone. If he thinks I ran.
I don’t want to run. I just need to breathe. To think. To find space between the wreckage of us and the pieces of myself I’m still trying to hold together.
This thing between us, it’s violent and beautiful, and some days I can’t tell if it’s love or war.
Is this what our life would be like? Him watching me all the time, under the guise of safety? Lying to me for my own good?Is that what it means to love a man who can destroy you and protect you with the same hands?
A woman jogs past, her shoulder brushing mine as she mumbles, “Excuse me.”
I offer a faint smile. “It’s okay.”
And for a moment, it is. Until tires screech against the pavement behind me.
A black van cuts across the street, swerving too fast, slamming to a stop beside me.
My body stiffens, my heart tripping over itself.
The door slides open, and two men jump out. I spin on instinct, ready to run, but one of them grabs me, fingers crushing into my arm, the other palm clamping over my mouth.
“Scream and I kill you.” His Russian accent makes the hairs on my arms stand up.
The rival Russian family Aleksei mentioned. Is this them?
Panic surges through me as I fight against his hold, but he’s too strong, dragging me backward like I weigh nothing. The woman who jogged past me jumps into the van and speeds off, the tires screaming across the pavement.
She was part of it? Oh God.
The second man catches my legs, pulling me toward the pier.
I fight with everything I have left. I twist, kick, claw, anything to break free. My nails rake down the face of the man behind me, and he grunts but doesn’t loosen his grip. When I bite the hand over my mouth, he smacks me hard across the face and stars burst behind my eyes.
“Let me go!”
