I find myself back on the bench at the end of the bed, rocking back and forth. I listened to her voicemail more times than I can count. My sadness has turned to anger.
She knew what she was going to do when she called and said goodbye. I would have gone with her. Fought next to her. We could have died side by side. I’d never make her go alone.
Reaching out, I pick up her wedding ring. I curl my fingers around it and close my eyes. I made her a promise, and I intend to keep it. I won’t fail her again.
My plan when I woke up from the beating I got was that I’d just jump on my bike and drive it until I lost control, but that would put others on the road with me at risk as well. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Not anymore. Plus, the bikers at the bar beat the fuck out of my bike with crowbars after they were done with me. So I now have no transportation. Not like I need to go anywhere anyway.
I set the ring down, pick up my revolver, and remove all the bullets except one. Then I spin the cylinder and shut it. It’s the same one my father gave me for my initiation. Who knew one day I’d need it.“Keep it. Maybe one day you’ll put it to good use.”
I’m not even nervous or scared. I’ve made up my mind. I left a note for my brothers. They’ll understand. They would do the same if they lost their wives. They have each other. They don’t need me.
Picking the ring up again, I hold it in my left hand. Then I bring the barrel of the gun to my right temple.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and almost smile. It’s crazy how calming death can be when you’re ready to let go of life.
“I’m coming, angel.”
Taking in one last breath, I pull the trigger.
EVERETT
Eleven years old
I sit huddled in the corner of the cell, my knees to my chest and my forehead resting on them.
“You fucking bitch,” the man growls, and I try to make myself smaller, pushing my naked body into the wall.
“You can’t stop him,” the woman tells the Lord as the door creaks when he opens her cell door.
He just found their son down here and dragged him off. I was hoping Cyrus wouldn’t return but he has.
“If you’d quit entertaining him, he’d stop coming to see you,” he yells before I hear him slapping her.
I flinch, my body trembling.
“He’ll never be like you,” she screams. “He’ll never be a monster.”
I lift my head and look through the bars to see her on her bloody knees and him looming over her in her cell across from mine.
“I’ll tell you what, you worthless whore. Next time he comes to visit you, I’ll kill you right in front of him. Maybe that’s what the boy needs. Yeah, he needs to be disciplined. He needs to be taught a lesson. And I’ll start with you.” He exits her cell, slamming the bars shut and locking her inside.
He goes to walk away but spots me in the opposite cell. I scramble to press my back into the wall when he opens it.
“Leave her alone,” she screams.
He laughs, grabbing my hair and yanking me from the wall. “Did Daddy put you in time-out?” He yanks his belt from his pants and drags me over to the door. He wraps it around my wrists and pulls me to my feet. He ties his belt around the bar above my head.
“You fucking bastard,” she screams over my sobs. “Leave her alone. She’s a child.”
“She’s going to be our whore.” He tangles my hair and shoves my cheek into the bars. “Aren’t you, bitch?” He slaps my ass, and I try to crawl through the bars to get away from him, but there’s nowhere for me to go.
His laughter fills the cell before he yanks open the door and closes it, leaving me tied to it.
He walks over to the woman and spits on her and then leaves us alone.
Tears and snot run down my face as I stand on my tiptoes, trying to free my wrists. When I do, I scramble to the back wall and pull my knees to my chest.
She falls onto her hands and lets out a blood-curdling scream that makes my ears ring. Her fists pound the floor, and each time, the pieces of broken light bulb cut her. After a few minutes, she falls back against the wall, and her tear-filled eyes meet mine. “He’s a good boy,” she tells me. “He’s going to be a good man.”
