“Talk to me, angel.”
“Do you really want to marry me?”
Without a doubt. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“What if I told you that you don’t know everything about me?”
“I’d tell you I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready to share.” I don’t think she knows everything about herself. The fact that she couldn’t remember that Evan raped her told me what I need to know. She’s suppressed so much of her past, there’s no telling what happened to her.
“I…” She looks away and takes in a shaky breath. “I can’t give you kids.”
I frown, confused, because she knows that I’m aware of this. She told me and a room full of Lords at Blackout.
“I was raped and got pregnant,” she whispers, and my stomach knots at her confession.
Fuck.Eve doesn’t know that I’m aware of what the Spade brothers did to her. What my father did to her.
“You know my biological father is Garrett Reeves, but what you don’t know is that he raped me.” Wrapping the sheet tighter around herself, she continues. “He and all of the Spade brothers’ fathers raped me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat for the horror she’s been through and the fact that she’s finally opening up to me.
“They tried to get me pregnant for years,” she sniffs, and I want to wrap my arms around her, but I cross them over my chest and stay where I’m at. “When I finally did…my father told me that if it was a girl…he’d set it on fire,” Eve chokes out. “But then he changed his mind and said that he hoped I had a girl so she could be useful—give him what I couldn’t. He was going to rape her…” Placing her hand over her mouth, she begins to sob. “But a boy would give him another chance. He’d force him to fuck me…maybe he’d have better luck…”
I can’t hold back. I rush to her and wrap her trembling body in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Eve.” But it won’t matter. They’re just words. They can’t change her past or her feelings.
She pulls away, and I allow it, brushing some wild strands of blond hair from her tear-streaked face. “My father had a man come and pick me up…take me somewhere…”
“To where?” I wonder. I already know the piece of shit is dead.
She shakes her head and sniffs. “I didn’t know who he was or where he was taking me, but I saw an opportunity.” Her red-rimmed eyes find mine. “I had to do it.” She swallows. “I couldn’t…wouldn’t let the Lords ruin another innocent life. I had to protect my baby.”
“I know, Eve,” I assure her. I’d never judge her for her past.
“I saw a chance at finally ending it all.” She closes her eyes tightly before opening them. “So I forced us to crash.” She blinks and fresh tears fall from her swollen eyes. “I would go with my baby. If there was an afterlife, we’d go together. I couldn’t imagine—” She licks her lips nervously. “But I lived.” Her eyes meet mine and they plead for me to understand why she chose to do what she did. “Why?” Her voice cracks.
“Eve—”
“We were supposed to die together.” Her lips tremble. “I was supposed to protect my child.” She sobs. “And I knew I couldn’t do that?—”
Wrapping my arms around her once again, I place my chin on the top of her head.
“I…lived.” The regret that she survived is evident in her voice.
“Listen to me, Eve.” I pull back and cup her tear-streaked face in both of my tatted hands. “Quit blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault. None of it.” My girl was trapped. A kid imprisoned in a hell who was used only to breed.
Pushing me away, she steps back. “Don’t you see the problem?” she growls.
I frown, confused by her change of tone. “Eve…”
“I can’t give you children,” she shouts.
My frown deepens, and she snorts, rolling her watery eyes.
“I didn’t know how to feel after I found out I survived. We were both supposed to die. We were supposed to be together in another universe where no one could hurt us. Where parents love and protect their children. I wanted that. A different life. A dad and mom who loved me.”
“I love you,” I tell her. “You’re going to be my wife. I’m going to vow to take care of you, to love you and to protect you. I promise you that no one will ever touch you again.” She looks away from me. “Kids don’t matter to me. You matter to me.” She frowns as if that’s a concept she can’t accept. “You asked me if I had a life, and I said I was looking at it.Youare what I’m looking at, angel. You’re who I see when I close my eyes at night, and you will be the last person I see before I leave this world. I’m going to spend every day I have left devoting my life to you because you are the one I want.”
“You still don’t get it,” she whispers, shaking her head.
