My chest tightens, and I run my hand over my hair. “Cause of death?” I ask.
His eyes hold mine. You can tell he wants to cry, but he’s holding it together the best he can. “It was…” He clears his throat. “Suicide.”
APRIL
I stand nextto Grave at the graveside service for Lucy. “Fire Away” by Chris Stapleton plays softly in the background. The Mason brothers wanted to have a private service. Her death hasn’t been announced publicly since she passed away two days ago.
I still don’t believe it. I just saw her. She came by the shop. She looked better, said she wanted to be better. Not three hours later, she was found dead in her penthouse. It doesn’t add up. Or maybe I just don’t want to believe it. I’ve never known depression or addiction before. I don’t pretend to understand what Lucy felt or went through.
I reach for Grave’s hand, but he pulls away from me.
I close my eyes and let the tears roll freely down my face. He’s been this way ever since he found out about her death. Distant. Completely closed-off. No jokes. Nothing.
He blames himself. We all do. Even I feel like I could have done more to help her. To save her. She didn’t deserve to die. Not this young and not this way. She had too much to give to this world. She was going to rehab. She had plans to change her life. She wanted to do better for herself.
Opening my eyes, I see the three Mason brothers standing by her casket. Trey openly sobs with his hand on the light wood.
Tanner stands next to him with his head down and his hand on his baby brother. I can see his shoulders shaking.
The only one I’ve never seen is Turner, but I knew who he was the moment I saw him. They all have a similar look about them. He stands with his head held high, not a tear in his eye. His hands are tucked in the front pockets of his suit pants, and sunglasses are perched on top of his head. He stares out into nothing. And my heart breaks for him. At the inner battle he’s fighting. There’s nothing wrong with feeling something, especially when the loss is a sibling.
The song ends, and the pastor steps back up to say a closing prayer. We all bow our heads, and I close my eyes, sniffing. I feel someone reach out to me on my left, and I pull the hand into mine. It’s Jasmine. She was the last one I saw standing on that side of me.
“Amen,” we say in unison.
I lift my head, and Grave is no longer beside me. I glance around the cemetery and spot him over by the vehicles parked on the gravel, talking to Turner. Turner pulls out his cell, and they watch something.
Grave nods a few times, then Turner shakes Grave’s hand.
I immediately turn, looking for Bones. I spot him talking to Titan off to my left. “Bones,” I call out, hustling over to him. “What’s going on between Grave and Turner?”
He looks from me to where his brother stands. “April,” he starts.
“I’m asking you to check it out,” I say. “I need someone to believe me.”
He frowns. “Believe what?”
That your brother isn’t the same person he was three days ago? That I see him standing in the kitchen staring at the bottle of vodka like he wants to down the entire thing at once. That if he wanted, he could have a bottle of pills in his hands in a matter of seconds. That I’m afraid he’s at the point of no return. I can only do so much. And if he relapses, I’m not sure I can bring him back.
“April, you ready?”
I spin around to see Grave now standing behind me, his sunglasses covering his eyes. I nod and walk toward him, knowing I’m on my own. They couldn’t help him before, so they’re not going to be of any help now. I’ll do it by myself.
THIRTY-SIX
GRAVE
ISTAND IN my closet at my house, pulling on a pair of jeans.
“What are you doing?” April asks, entering the large space.
“I have to go to work,” I say flatly.
“Grave, it’s three a.m.” She yawns.
“I know.” I rip a shirt off a hanger and slide it on. Then walk past her, out of the closet.
“Grave…”
