She takes a deep breath, then leans in to kiss me. “Thank you for being so amazing.”
I shrug, pulling her even closer, and that’s how we fall asleep.
Chapter Forty-Two
Anastacia
I feel really stupid over the next couple of days for how I acted. Grizz does nothing to make me feel that way, it’s just in my head. Our life is exactly how it was before, with him going out to the club all day, stopping in for a while, then heading back out. I’m so curious to know what it is he’s doing, but I don’tworryabout it anymore. Not the way I did. I’m not sure about what he said, but I believe that he isn’t out doing anything wrong. Maybe I should have asked him sooner rather than letting it build. But he’s right… we’re going to fight sometimes. That’s normal.
We have a short time before Christmas, so I’ve spent the last hour online shopping for gifts. Grizz demanded to pay for everything. I argued with him, so we split it instead. I knew he wouldn’t give in, so even though I don’t actually agree with it, I had to. Because money isn’t what matters. All that matters ishaving an amazing Christmas with people I care about and who care about me.
This is the first Christmas that I have money to buy gifts for people, and I’ll get some in return. I feel giddy like a kid over it all. I hope my daughter feels like this every Christmas for her whole life.
Footsteps on the stairs have me looking that way, and I see Kelsey walking down. She comes over to sit on the couch, her face expressionless. I put down my phone to give her my full attention.
“Well, did you do it?” I ask quietly.
Tommy is outside, salting the driveway since we’re supposed to get more snow, but I can’t risk being loud about this. There are cameras everywhere, and they may pick up sound from inside the house.
Kelsey nods, looking me in the eyes. I can’t tell what the answer is. I got her that test all those weeks ago and she hasn’t done it yet. Not until this morning. She’s been scared… terrified of what the answer is, but she’s still not been feeling good and she hasn’t gotten her period. The anticipation is killing me as I wait for her to tell me what the hell is going on. Because if this isn’t a baby, something is seriously wrong.
“It’s positive,” she whispers.
I gasp, jumping up to my feet, filled with joy. But then dread washes over me, and I sit back down. I want to celebrate this, but maybe she’s not ready to celebrate yet. This is a lot to take in, and though it’s exactly what she wants, I understand how this doesn’t come with happy feelings for her.
“How are you feeling?” I ask. “What are you thinking? What’s the plan?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t tell him yet, but I don’t know how to do this without him. I should call the doctor, but how will I get there without him?”
“Grizz will help you.”
She grimaces, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t want to see him upset when I have to tell him that—”
“No, Kelsey, don’t do that,” I say as nicely, but firmly, as possible. “You need to stay positive, okay? This could be it.”
“We’ve said that before.”
“It doesn’t matter. How many people have said that and it really was the time? You don’t know what’s going to happen. Grizz will understand, and he will keep this a secret for you.”
“I’m so scared to be happy about this, Anastacia.”
God, that breaks my heart.
I take her hand. “I can’t say I understand, because I don’t, but I am here for you no matter what. I will say again that I think you should tell both of them, but I get why you aren’t, and that’s okay. I’m here for you always, okay? I’m on your side.”
She squeezes my hand then wipes away a stray tear.
“Thank you,” she says.
“Always. We’re sisters now.”
She huffs a laugh, looking out the window. “I want to tell him. He was always so happy, the one to keep me positive, but seeing what he went through after… I just don’t think I can.”
“He wouldn’t want you to go through this alone…”
She nods. “I know, but… maybe I can wait a little while. A couple of weeks. If everything feels okay, I’ll call the doctor to make an appointment.”
“How about New Years?”
