“No, because it’s shit with Prez and the club is already teetering on the edge.”
“I won’t say anything, Grizz. You should know that.”
“I do know that, Tommy. I don’t want to talk about it and put it out in the air. Make it real. It’ll pass. Shark and Snapper havebeen whispering, and… just forget I said anything. Things will settle. You should come by next week.”
He narrows his eyes, hesitating a moment before saying, “Okay. Sure.”
“Really?” I perk up. Every time I tell him he should come, it’s always “I don’t know.” Like he did a few moments ago. I know he wants to join, it’ll give him something to do, but something is stopping him. Maybe leaving Kelsey alone all day? Having something to do while she does nothing? I don’t like the girls being home alone by themselves either, and it’s something we would figure out if it came down to it. Even if I have to put up barbed wire fencing around the whole damn property—I’ll do it.
I get up and guzzle my coffee now that it’s borderline cold.
“It’ll be a good reason for Kelsey to miss you while she grows the vegetables and feeds the birds.”
He holds out his middle finger, and I chuckle as I walk out of the kitchen, but quiet as I reach the hall. I tiptoe to the bedroom. It’s dark and Anastacia is still sleeping, but Dorothea… I see her little hands waving in the air and hear her soft coos filling the silence.
I walk over and stare down at her. Her dark gaze moves to me, and she looks like maybe she wants to smile, but she doesn’t. I know she won’t do that yet. Soon, but not yet. She moves more though, her hands and her feet, like maybe she’s excited to see me. Like maybe she recognizes me. The way my chest gets warm over that is indescribable. I gently scoop her up and bring her to my chest, leaning forward to kiss her head. Her hair is soft and smells like lavender. She’s the most precious thing on this planet.
“Be good for Mommy today, sweet pea,” I whisper, then kiss her again and put her down. I give her the binky, which she takes happily, then I go over to Anastacia and kiss her next. Just a softkiss to her temple, so I don’t wake her. Then I’m on my way to the clubhouse.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Anastacia
Before I know what’s happened, it’s Halloween and Dorothea is nearly two months old. The time has passed so quickly that it scares me. Soon enough she’ll be one, then two. Then it’s school and graduation and—
No.
No, I’m not doing that.
One day at a time.
“One day at a time,” I say softly as I lift Dorothea’s bum to put a clean diaper under her. Once she’s all changed, I button her pink onesie up and lean down to kiss her nose. That’s our little tradition. Only this time when I pull back, there is a smile on her face. I gasp, my hand going to my chest. “You smiled!”
It was a real smile. Not just something she did in her sleep. She looked right at me and smiled. Tears fall before I can stop them.
“Hey, I was—what’s wrong?” The panic in Kelsey’s voice is clear as she rushes to my side.
I hold my hand up, wanting to tell her, but unable to get the words out. My vision is blurry, but I see her checking on Dorothea.
“Is she okay? What’s wrong?”
“She… she…” I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “She smiled at me,” I say through a sob.
“Oh, my…” Kelsey lets out a small laugh, her hand going to my shoulder. “That’s wonderful news.”
I nod. Tears still coming. Kelsey stays with me until I calm down. I give her a big hug once the tears stop.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” she asks.
“Just being here. Letting me be here.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that, honey. I’m glad you’re here. We all are.” She pulls back, her hands still on my arms. “Especially Grizz.”
We haven’t come out and said that we’re together, but I don’t think it’s needed. I mean, we are together, it’s just hard to explain what we’re doing. Calling him my boyfriend feels weird. He feels like so much more than that, but what else is there in between boyfriend to fiancé to husband?
“He’s such an amazing man,” I say.
