Grizz and I are sitting on the bed together, my head resting on his shoulder, our feet aimed toward the edge of the bed creating a protective V. In the middle of us, on the bed, is my beautiful baby girl, Dorothea. It means gift of God and felt like the perfect name for her.
For a very long time, I didn’t think she was a gift. I thought this was a curse. But then I got free, and now, I see the truth. I see how much of a gift she really is. I can finally see what this is all for, and what it all means.
“How about this one?” Grizz says, tapping on the image to make it bigger.
“Do we need that yet?”
It’s one of those jumpers that hangs in the doorway.
He shrugs. “Better safe than sorry.”
Pressing theadd to cartbutton brings our total number of items to fifty-eight. I don’t want to see the cost of all this.
I didn’t get to go shopping, and I’m not sure if leaving the house any time soon is a good idea, since I need to take it easy. But I need things for the baby, and I want to be able to pick them out myself. So Grizz offered to order everything online for me. We’ve been sitting here for close to two hours looking through baby stuff, deciding on themes and colors—pink and yellow with white furniture—while Dorothea sleeps soundly.
“What about more outfits? You think we need more?”
“We will eventually, but I don’t want to order too many now. She’ll grow out of them quickly.”
“Yeah, but they’re so cute.”
I can’t help but smile. The clothes are adorable.
Grizz looks down at her with awe in his eyes.
“How is she so tiny?”
“Trust me, when she’s in your belly, she doesn’t feel so small.”
He kisses my head then goes back to scrolling.
Tommy and Kelsey ran out earlier to get some emergency supplies—diapers, wipes, a couple onesies, and blankets. She’s breastfed without issue, which is a relief, because it’s exactly what I wanted to do.
“I can’t believe she’s here,” I say softly. “I can’t believe I grew this.”
“And you did such a good job doing it.”
Something about that triggers a memory, and I have no idea why.
Dorothea’s father. Surely now that she’s here, he’ll come for her.
“Grizz,” I say, his name coming out raspy.
“What’s wrong, Angel?” he asks softly.
“I need you to promise me something,” I say, the words difficult to come out.
“Anything,” he whispers. “Anything you need, Angel. Just tell me what it is.”
“Promise me that no matter what, you will protect her.”
He shifts, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer, careful not to disturb her.
“I promise I will protectbothof you.”
I shake my head. “But you have to promise me that if it comes down to it, for whatever reason, you will protecther.”
“Angel—”
